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Original poster

affair,stalking ?hypnosis!!!

60 replies

basketswing · 24/06/2011 23:45

Just coming out of wierd and awful situation, partner had sex with someone he met on purpose made site for 2 weeks, i found out when someone rang and told me, thats one part of the story other is a tale of borderline stalking to him plus phone calls to myself, his sister re untrue affairs but all with correct info re names, plans and to my parents, cant understand where shes getting info from as amongst the lies that shes spreading theres an awful lot of personal details, he wonders if phone/house bugged but still wouldnt explain everything, someone else suggested ?he was hypnotised. Any idears/thoughts?

OP posts:
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 25/06/2011 09:21

How handy for him that the woman turned out to be batshit crazy. That means all your shock and anger can be diverted onto her and he can play the poor misled mistreated man who couldn't help himself.
She isn't a hypnotist with woo powers. Your H will have let things slip while he was seeing her, that's all. People give away a lot about themselves in casual conversation.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 25/06/2011 09:22

Ever heard of 'Occams Razor' ??

I'd say that she's come by the information from your husband. Who is in serious damage limitation mode and likely telling you as little as he can get away with.

I would suggest that his recent behaviour change has come not from him starting an affair with this woman, but started at the point he realised you were likely to find out. Someone probably found out about a long standing affair and gave him an ultimatum. At that point, his behaviour changed. You were going to find out, he had to find a way to present it that made it seem less awful. He knew the shit was about to hit the fan and that is why you noticed a change in him. He was crapping himself.

I mean, hypnotised? Are you bloody kidding here?! Really? you really think he's been hypnotised or the house has been bugged?

M0naLisa · 25/06/2011 10:37

Your husband is a very truthful person???

Well if i was you id be squeezing his balls till they popped telling him to confess.

But thats me.

This women maybe batshit crazy but from the sounds of it your husbands made her like this,

What i think has happened is

hes shagged her for 2 weeks??? - yeah doubt that (a man will say the least time an affair has happened so 2 weeks could be 2 months???)
Now shes gone crazy physco bitch on his/your arse your husband is fretting. saying alsorts of bullshit to get out of it?

Housebugged?? (his idea???)
Hypnotised??????( again his idea by any chance?)

i dont actually think your husband is very good at telling the truth on this one.

Xales · 25/06/2011 10:55

Items have been left at my elderly parents which included return of his clothes If he was leaving his clothes there you really think this was only 2 weeks and random meet ups from a website?

Sorry but why would he be taking and leaving clothing at a womans house when meeting her a few times? over a 2 week period for sex?

Bugged? Well when would he have brought her into your house for casual sex in your bed? and left her long enough to go around and bug all the houses in your phone?

Hypnotised. It could have happened I suppose but come on! Do you really think so?!?!?

Your honest husband isn't so honest that he didn't tell you any of this until he had been dropped in the shit by the woman he was shagging. Don't expect him to tell you all of it right away or honestly.

Typical man I suppose. 'I met and had a very tiny affair with another woman, I am really sorry, I will never do it again' and she turns out to be crazy. Crazy that is, because she leaves proof at his parents, and tells stuff she has been told during pillow talk etc. Not extremely pissed off that she has been lead on by a married man who is now wriggling and lying to get out of it while dumping her in the shit and painting her as crazy while he walks away scot free (where does that saying come from?) and little wife takes him back and blames it all on the evil OW.

Please get yourself to an STI clinic and get checked Sad

Xales · 25/06/2011 10:56

Apologies for the typical man comment. It is not all men and women do it too. Blush

buzzsore · 25/06/2011 11:05

I realise you want to believe him, but really - his version of events is ludicrous.

And even if it were true, are you seriously considering putting up with his having deliberately gone on a site with the express purpose of meeting people for sex, and following through with sex with someone else?

Do you have an open relationship? I'm guessing not.

Why is her apparent lunacy the issue when he's a big fat cheater?

FabbyChic · 25/06/2011 19:21

He gave the information away, when he was asleep she went through his phone and got the numbers.

Your partner is to blame for all of this.

Yet you are still with him? Madness

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 25/06/2011 20:02

Are you sure the police confirmed this woman is mentally ill? Or is that just what your H told you? I mean, the actions you have described - dumping his clothes at his parents' house and telling everyone that he is not a faithful husband or a nice man, these are undignified, vengeful things to do but they are the actions of an angry woman, not necessarily a loony one. I think your H is not telling you the whole truth and it is possible that he has been lying to this woman as well.

Vi8 · 25/06/2011 20:47

Of course he has been lying, it's textbook behaviour! Please wake up, even it it hurts... The woman in the affair is almost always blamed and portrayed as a loony, she becomes a common enemy for the married couple who unite against her as never before...

SarahStratton · 26/06/2011 09:01

So a brief, 2 week affair ends. During this brief 2 week affair the woman hypnotises him, bugs his house and finds out massive amounts of information, both family and financial. Or possibly found this information out on his phone. Because we all keep our financial details on our phones.

Did she steal his clothes too?

Or do you think, maybe, the affair has lasted a lot longer, he has spoken at length to her about his family/finances. Left belongings at hers. And something about your (BIL's?) lovechild has been mentioned?

Which sounds ever so slightly more plausible to you?

LifeMovesOn · 26/06/2011 09:19

Oh dear, I'm so sad for you. I had all this when my DHs affair ended. Only it wasn't from the OW but her partner of 20 years Sad My ex told me he reckoned 'they' had bugged his phone' to get all the incredibly personal information this horrible man told ME about (very personal info about me that only my DH knew). Of course the ex was gabbling to her and, given he was the whore's six affair, it was a bit of a sick game between her and her partner.

When he (the sicko) phoned to threaten me and tell me what bus number my daughter got to college, thats when I called the policeAngry

God that's made me remember what that fuckwit of an ex put me through Angry

Sounds like hell hath no fury than a woman scorned - the mistress is paying him back.

Take care Sad

nenevomito · 26/06/2011 09:19

you must be having a really horrible time at the moment. Not only has your husband cheated on you, but everyone knows and the OW is not letting it go. I guess you are feeling confused, humiliated and upset in equal measure.

I know you really want to believe that the relationship only lasted a couple of weeks and that his version of the events is true, but from the outside, it doesn't look likely. I know it must be really hard for you to accept, but lets look at the two possible scenarios.

Scenario 1
The affair has been going on for a long time. He only started acting strange when she said she was going to tell you about the affair and he was panicked as he has told her lots of things - and when she calls you, his family and sister, she knows all of the things she does as he's told her. She had his belongings becasue he left them at her house over a long period of time. Now he has gone back to you she's angry and vengeful.

Scenario 2
He made a short lived mistake with a lunatic who has either hypnotised him or bugged your house to get lots of information.

Seriously, what is more likely?

Portofino · 26/06/2011 09:28

I agree this sounds much more like a case of a woman scorned, than random looney woman bugging your house. Sad

dollius · 26/06/2011 10:05

I find it very odd that the police would say someone has mental health issues. I don't buy that for one minute.

Your house has not been bugged and your H has not been hypnotised.

He has been shagging this woman for more than two weeks, which is why he has left clothes at her house and they even have bought sex toys together. He is also the source of all her information. Why she is ringing up members of your family is beyond me, but I wouldn't expect your H to tell you the truth about that either.

Your H is not a truthful person at all. He has been chatting to women on sex sites and shagging at least one of them for some time. All behind your back.

You need to see this for what it is before you can decide what you want to do to move on. Try to focus on HIS actions, rather than HERs - you don't know when she found out about you. Whereas he knew about you all the time.

I'm sorry you have been so badly let down, it's really horrible.

Morloth · 26/06/2011 10:27

You are seriously buying his bullshit?

Seriously?

Kick him out and she will go away as well. Problem solved.

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 26/06/2011 10:32

Basketswing - I'd get yourself over to a GUM clinic and get checked out. I'd also go for some counselling.

Been there, done that - buying into their sense of normal I mean and it's hard to get out of when you're being told you're a nutter for not buying the batshit but really honestly this is bullshit he's feeding you.

dadof2ofthem · 26/06/2011 10:48

i heard on the radio about cyber-stalking, all it takes is one email from the right person and if you open it they see everything on your pc, they can even open your wecam and see you, yes scary i know.
also, this happend to a woman i know on secondlife ( a virtual world online) also, she opens an email from someone she met up with from second life in real life and he found naked pictures of her and is now threatening to send them to her employer.
find yourself a spotty computer-geek and have him check your pc out to make sure it hasnt been comprimised.
hope that helped.

dadof2ofthem · 26/06/2011 10:49

the example on the radio was a woman who sent the email to a man, she hired a computergeek to do it for her!

dadof2ofthem · 26/06/2011 11:00

i tried to get the link up here but clearly i'm not intelegent enough.
so, it's '5liveinvestigates'
go to bbc.co.uk click radio, then podcats , then 5live and your find it there .

Xales · 26/06/2011 11:18

That is true Dad2 people can be cyber stalked.

A friend of mine from online gaming who lives in Italy was able to find to within a mile where my house was from my IP address etc (all with my blessing before you think he was a nutter)!!!

BUT

She can't cyberstalk his clothes. He had to leave them there for her to return and I don't believe that if he was just meeting a woman randomly for 2 weeks to shag that he would take spare clothes and leave them there.

dadof2ofthem · 26/06/2011 11:58

oh, i'm not suggetsing he hasnt met up with her in real life , but the cyber stalking would explain the rest, how she gets all the information and so on.

M0naLisa · 26/06/2011 12:11

Hmmm ok again bye bye

ratspeaker · 26/06/2011 14:16

basketwing
Your husband/partner was NOT hypnotised into going onto the sites
He chose to
He was NOT hypnotised into meeting other women
He chose to

from that we have estabished he is not faithful, didn't want to be faithful, and intended to seek out sex with someone he hardly knew ,whether you can forgive THAT is up to you.
Have you been checked for VD etc given that your husband seems to meet up with strangers for sex?

Assuming he was meeting another woman for sex for 2 weeks thats enough time for her to look at his mobile phone for numbers
Its enough time for him to talk to her and give out info as to who relatives are and where they live

She sounds bitter and angry, maybe she was lied to as well as you
He probably did the "my wife doesn't understand me" then justified this statement with example of why, when, where

and what lies is she spreading?
That she had sex with your husband?????

SarahStratton · 26/06/2011 14:54

Seriously, you think it's more likely that they are being cyberstalked by someone who has hacked into their pc and is spying on them via their webcam. Or he has been hypnotised.

Rather than the incredibly obvious he has been having an affair and she has turned bunny boiler.

Jesus wept.

dadof2ofthem · 26/06/2011 14:58

i think you misunderstand me , of course he's been playing away, the cyber-stalking is just to explain how she gets the other information.

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