What's more important: emotional intimacy or someone who you are utterly comfortable with?

[namechangexx]

Just comparing my current dp - he's very witty, very entertaining, very knowledgeable and we get on very well and I can totally be myself around him. However, he has never been a great 'romance' for me although sex is good and he has never wanted us to get married (for various reasons).

with my ex - total romance, he was my 'soulmate', mutual infatuation, wanted to marry me, sex was incredible. We split cos we got together too young and I wanted other experiences. However, he was more conventional and conservative than my dp and that used to get on my nerves a bit!

Why couldn't I get both?? Am I being greedy? I miss/crave the emotional intimacy I got from my ex.

and some of us have too bloomin much passionate intensity and not enough comfort...eeeek (if that sounds like a stealth boast about my sex life, apols, it's just fact atm and no doubt may change)

I have to say though reading the posts of women who feel they have both, I think a lot of it is being consistently positive/supportive to the guy they are with- working on it themselves, admitting their faults etc. DP is nothing if not emotionally supportive even though in practical terms he is a nightmare. I think I need to look at what I have got more rather than what I haven't.