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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What do you wish on your Ex?

73 replies

crispyseaweed · 15/06/2011 19:02

Not a lot... here.
Its taken 3-5 years to feel good about it all.
I have to say I wish him nothing good, but as usual, he has come up smelling of Roses. Grrh ! He always lands on his feet (very annoying) and financially is doing better than he has ever done.
As for me, its the usual, . . . . counting every penny!

OP posts:

HooverTheHamaBeads · 15/06/2011 20:11

a pox on all their houses

Eddieshead · 15/06/2011 20:15

I would hope he has found peace and happiness and would like to tell him that I wish him no ill-will despite what he did to me.

malinkey · 15/06/2011 21:01

The realisation that he is responsible for his actions, the ability to take a good hard look at himself and understand it is nobody's fault but his own.

colditz · 15/06/2011 21:04

I wish upon him the resonsibility of his family's finances, and a partner who lies about money. That is all..

AnyFucker · 15/06/2011 21:06

crabs

a sad and lonely life

I reckon he has both of those already, brought on by himself, so no input needed from me

Flossbert · 15/06/2011 21:07

Ex 1 - That he finally messes with the wrong person and ends up in the Thames in concrete wellies
All the others - I hope they find their own way with the right person.

AnyFucker · 15/06/2011 21:07

that is to just one of my exes, btw

the rest I wish well

Tosellornotto · 15/06/2011 21:15

On two long term exes, lovely, long happy fulfilling lives with their lovely families, on the most recent, that he hits his rock bottom and gets the help he needs and manages to change so he doesn't hurt anyone else.

babylann · 15/06/2011 21:16

He said I'm fat (put on weight while pregnant), drain on society (never taken benefits), my DD is "average to mediocre" , me and DP have "lost" by getting ourselves into this "situation" and he bets we kick ourselves thinking of how great his life is in comparison to ours with his thin, beautiful girlfriend (who isn't legally allowed to live in the UK), constant travelling (to the exact same place - his girlfriend's family's house) and hedonistic lifestyle (far too much drinking, gambling and smoking).

And now his girlfriend is pregnant :) and she will put on a bit of weight, he'll learn that babies can never be "average to mediocre" and that there's no "losing" involved with becoming parents, even if we were a bit younger than we thought we would be when we took that step. And, considering he was a student but has had to drop out and is now unemployed in a country where he can't speak their language, I don't know how he's planning on being able to afford to carry on with his travelling and ridiculously indulgent lifestyle. Maybe he'll have to take benefits...

Don't think I really need to wish anything on him :) I just hope he suddenly realises, "Ah, I guess those things I said were kinda stupid..."

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 15/06/2011 21:17

his worst nightmare: to be seen for what he really is by his friends, family, and colleagues.

laiyan · 15/06/2011 21:20

that he becomes my ex
that he feels a tiny inkling of what he has put me through all these years.
health and happiness.

LorettaMasonPotts · 15/06/2011 21:37

The realisation of what I've suffered mentally & emotionally during the years we were together - sadly he isn't capable of empathy so will never appreciate this. So karma, really.

humptydidit · 15/06/2011 21:40

Loretta totally with you on that... I have met slugs with great capacity for empathy than my ex

davidtennantsmistress · 15/06/2011 22:13

davids - that's disgusting. what a vile specimine.

after everything I wish him no malice, just that he keeps DS settled and actually thinks about his well being first. I'd like him to step up to the mark & take responsibility emotionally & physically for DS but I guess when he's got others to palm him off to during visits that's not gonna happen. other than that, for DS to see him for exactly what/who he is - DS isn't far off even though i've never said a word against XH and encouraged everything contact wise.

last 2x's pre DP - I couldn't possibly post it - well I could - he I wish he'd grow up, and actually learn that life's not all about him, it's not all about running home to mummy when he gets upset, & likewise it's not all about harassing a woman and not leaving her alone after she's repeatedly asked him to - (basically be a decent human being!)

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 15/06/2011 22:16

I wish him well, and also a spine. Lovely bloke, but totally domineered by his loon parents.

Original poster

crispyseaweed · 16/06/2011 09:04

LorettMasonP you have said it all....the same here I think. The realisation of what I suffered.....
My Ex doesnt have empathy either so karma here too.
Trouble is, at the moment Karma isnt happening for him. He is earning loads and loads and has just bought new 4 x drive, and house and now has bloody horses....WTF ! Here I am renting a tiny house.etc.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 16/06/2011 09:06

That someone comes and destroys his life and rips away his future. Reap what you sow.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 16/06/2011 09:08

I wish mine a conscience, respect for himself and others, and maybe a little return Karma

Gay40 · 16/06/2011 09:12

Best wishes. They were all lovely, we just weren't suited and hopefully they are with people who suit them now.

cjdamoo · 16/06/2011 09:15

Infertility.

Through the grapevine I have heard he now has 6 kids and supports none of them.

meltedchocolate · 16/06/2011 09:24

sobriety

Original poster

crispyseaweed · 16/06/2011 09:25

I just hope the new gfriend is challenging his totally self centred thoughless behaviour, and sticking up for herself as he tries to walk all over her and treat her like a doormat. With him, the more you give, the more he takes!

OP posts:

2rebecca · 16/06/2011 09:28

I wish him well as he's the father of my kids and I want them to have a good male role model.
He's a lovely bloke, just wasn't the bloke I wanted to spend the rest of my life with after a few years.
Just because something doesn't last forever it doesn't mean it was a mistake.

2rebecca · 16/06/2011 09:32

If he's that selfish and unempathetic then why are you still so upset the relationship is over?
You sound as though you only miss his money which doesn't reflect well on you.
What does it matter how much he currently earns? Your earning power is up to you, his is up to him, you wouldn't be richer if he was poorer.

fuzzywuzzy · 16/06/2011 09:37

I dont think about him, but I would wish him happiness and kindness, lots of kindness in fact and compassion, sympathy and empathy....

I actually could care less to be honest, but it would take so much energy to give a damn either way.

I wouldnt wish him as he was with me on my worst enemy, so if I am forced to wish anything for him it is the above, so he never does to another as he did to my children and I.

The above would prolly piss him off no end if he only knew

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