URGENT.......DOES ANYONE KNOW CARLA IN RL..CAN THEY CALL HER

[waterfalls]

THINK SHE IS IN TROUBLE

HERE

Do you want to split up with him then? In the light of the fact that he is contemplating dating people? Or do you have an open relationship?

Carla, if all this is real then you need to get rid of him and move on.

but carla you could have called the police when he was breking into your house!!!

Is he there now??

so he climbs a window and gets back in and thats it then>back to normal life?
coem on

legal advice required folks

if you can't get rid of him do you need a women's refuge maybe?

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There are other types of abuse, Carla. Just as damaging as physical.

He has hit you before, though, hasn't he? And he's verbally and emotionally violent - abuse doesn't only come in the form of beating up.

You know you have to do something - I know it's hard but you need rid.

I'm confused. You've asked him to leave but he won't? Is that because he loves you or because he doesn't want to leave the house?

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I'm not happy in my realtionship at the moment, but if my partner smashed a window to get in then imo that would be a perfect 'excuse' to finish it for good. That is bang out of order.

Your house? so he damaged your property then. If its your house and you don't want him there then they could help.

but tbh it doesn't sound like you do want him to go

I'm sorry, but carla's dh is entitled to live in her house as he is her husband and has matrimonial rights.

If it were the other way round, i.e. carla was living in a house owned by her husband, would you tell her she had no right to be there?

If he is violent, then she has a right to get him out, but through the proper channels. OK he's been stupid and insulting in visiting porn sites and possible signing up for a dating site, but I don't think a court would consider these grounds to chuck him out of his home. They may be grounds for a divorce, if she has the will.

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But shes not the one signing up to dating agencys and smashing windows!!

I think the problem is Carla brought more money in than dh and doesn't want to lose by divorce, but of course having got married if a couple do divorce then the finances are split and maintenance and custody arrangements are made which not everybody likes.

Bu sometimes we have to bite the bullet

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I think there are a few problems which mean things are not straightforward

The pertinent phrase here is "in the past". If he was violent and carla chose to stay with him, then clearly the violence was not sufficient to make her fear for her safety and seek a divorce. If he is not violent now (breaking a window to regain access to your own home is not violence), then carla cannot use past episodes on which to hang a divorce. However, his recent behaviour is sufficient to warrant divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.

if I have understood correctly carla would like a divorce but is concerned about the financial and custody arrangements which might follow

It's not that far in the past, freckle; recent enough for it still to be a worry.

Carla, are you still there? If you don't talk to us we can't help you.

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She could use the past violence as part of a history of unreasonable behaviour, also citing the current behaviour. However, I doubt that she'd get an ouster order (which is where the courts force a man to leave his home because of immediate danger to other occupants) as there seems to be no current violence.

With regard to finance and custody, it is unlikely that she'd have to leave the house, as it was hers before they married anyway and it is just as unlikely that the courts would order the children to live with anyone apart from her.

If she is serious about wanting a divorce, then she should seek advice from a family lawyer rather than constantly reporting dreadful episodes on here and then backing off from taking any action.