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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP mentally ill- advice needed

60 replies

Orchidlady · 06/06/2011 10:29

I eventually persuaded DP to visit the GP, re ED and depression and thank god he finally took the plunge, to cut a long story short she has referred him to a therapist, thinks he is Bi polar, advised anti depressants (which he has refused), I am very pleased that he finally plucked up to courage to go but now I am really worried about his behaviour. Over the past few weeks he has gone downhill, has talked about Suicide (I really think he is thinking of doing it, even told me the way he would do it), talked about hearing voices, seeing strange things, constantly contradicting himself ( often about silly things, for example he will be eating something saying how nice it is and the next it is completely disgusting and hates it) whf!, and worst of all having major panic attacks these are just a few of the strange things. But this weekend he has really freaked me about, he refused to come to bed on Saturday and sat outside in the garden staring into fire for hours, eventually he came to bed @ 5.30 in a complete state said he woke up in the middle of the road, just did not know how he got there then proceeded to have a major panic attack, moving his body uncontrollably, kept saying he was going to die. I am very worried I not sure the GP knows the extent of his problems, please if anyone has some suggestions on what I can do as this is really beginning to freak me out. Really think I should confide in my mum ( both his parents are gone) but if he finds out will go berserk, should I call the GP?

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 13/06/2011 11:59

i think all you can do is watch and wait.

calm before the storm and all that....just plan what to do if any of the behaviour seen before reoccurs.

Mouseface · 13/06/2011 12:26

Agree with cest. Shame you couldn't go with him, I was thinking of you earlier as I sat in my GPs waiting room!

I hope that the appointment comes through soon. Remember that if he has another bad episode, take him straight to A&E where he will be seen by a duty psych.

ducati · 13/06/2011 12:34

it started with him suddenly getting up at 3am and saying he couldnt sleep and going on his computer doing God knows what. He started cooking madly extravagent meals during the week so he could work himself up into a kind of chef-style frenzy, drinking heavily and then going out on his bike in the early hours of morning. all this time he was going to work. so all quite mad. he then sort of crashed and he couldnt get out of the chair, wept constantly etc. it was dreadful. he was on medication for about six months - first sedation and them other drugs to subdue the mania -- then suddenly decided to come off it. i was furious, but it did sort of work, although it took a further year for him to be anything like normal.

i don't mean to terrify you -- i think your dp's episode was not quite this serious. but this sort of thing can deteriorate very quickly.

how long do you have to wait for a psychiatrist's appointment?

Orchidlady · 13/06/2011 12:52

Thanks everyone. Ducati I agree dp does not seem to be so extreme, just seems to get a whole lot worse when he drinks, I think he has has a problem for sometime. The difference is now he is actually admiting he has a problem, that is surely half the battle. BUT I will have no hesitation in calling help is he goes into one of these episodes and have told him so. Don't know how long we have to wait for the appointment. I feel very emotionally withdrawn from him right now and angry, don't know whay makes me feel really guilty.

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ImeldaM · 13/06/2011 13:02

Would add (others may have already said this) that if he becomes sleep-deprived at any time then symptoms are likely to increase drastically, so if he's sitting up through the night likely to go downhill fast. Personal experience.
Hope he gets help he needs soon.

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 09:26

Just waiting for the GP to call, not sure what we can do. Last night was an absolute nightmare, had a complete melt down, keep saying I am going to die and don't want to be here anymore. I asked him on a scale to 1- 10 how serious he was about killing himself and he said 9. He would not stop drinking, literally gulping down red wine. I tried to get hime to bed but could not hold him up. I know this may sounds crazy but I did not want to call 999 because to an outsider he would have looked like some drunk, having a domestice wife his partner. Going to tell GP everything, this is now a crisis. I feel sick but trying to hold it together for DS sake

OP posts:
Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 09:27

Sorry about the typos

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cestlavielife · 16/06/2011 10:31

you cant look after him any more - you need help.
he needs help.
you have the power here to ask for help by calling 999.
you have to do it for your sake and his and your DS.

your only other option is to simply leave with DS and leave him to it.

RockinSockBunnies · 16/06/2011 10:40

Just seen this thread now. For heaven's sake, your DP is desparately ill. If he had broken bones sticking out of his body, you'd call an ambulance. This is no different.

Stop analysing, stop pussy-footing around and GET HELP. If your DP kills himself or harms someone else, you'll never forgive yourself. He is psychotic and extremely ill. For heaven's sake, take action NOW.

Call 999. Now.

Orchidlady · 16/06/2011 12:12

Rock, sorry accidentally posted my message on this thread, have updated on the other thread. GP has been called, tying to arrange emergeny health assessment this pm and spoken with the police

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