ok, I try to keep it a brief as possible.
have been with DH for 9 years. we have 2 sons. DS1 is 4 and has SN (no dx yet but many things point towards autism, he is a very complex and challenging child) and DS2 (2 years old).
DH has over the last years changed quite a lot. he is utterly unsupportive in practical terms (he works full time, I do part time): I do the household on my own (every little thing, cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking... etc etc). he doesn't help a lot with the children either. I have to most of the things: dressing, bathing, make sure they are fed, getting them ready in the morning, settling them to sleep (which is esp difficult with DS1 due to his SN). I also to the nursery/school run every day.
he totally refuses to help. when I ask him, he basically gets crazy and starts shouting abuse at me and telling me, that this is not his job (he goes to work and that is in his view his bit). I am told on a daily basis, that I am f* * this, f * * that, get told to throw myself under a train to make this world a better place.
most of the bills go out of my account (stupidly we arranged it like this many years back before we had kids). he gives me a small amount each month from his salary towards the bills. as I only do p/t, my wage is rather small and every single penny in my account gets spent on the bills. I can't even get myself a face cream (I dared to do it last month for a fiver and he hit the roof)... as he is working so hard (so he says), he needs to sleep well and doesn't want to be disturbed at night. and hence he threw me out of the bedroom (luckily our sofa is comfy)...
I could go on and on and on but I suppose you get the gist.
I have to give him credit to being lovely with his sons and they absolutely adore him.
he refuses to talk to me and ignores me most of the time.
needless to say, I am completely exhausted from the stress this relationship give me, on top I have my own job, all the household is on my shoulders and last but not least my 2 gorgeous boys. as DS1 has SN, he is also a very different package to a 'normal' 4-year old.
anybody been in a similar situation and has managed to work things out? how?
or do you think it is better to prepare my way out of this? though this would be very difficult for me. I have no savings at all. also, I haven't got family who could help me (they live abroad).
I just try to analyse the situation and to think about the best way forward but my head isn't clear at all and my thought just go round in circles...
any advice?