We have been together coming up 6yrs.
When we met we were both still married but seperated. I got my divorce through the year after we met and he said he would sort his out, in August 2008 I paid the initial £167 for the online divorce proceedings. He only had to fill in a questionaire and click submit. Which I FINALLY got him to do Febuary last year.
For me it was never about getting married just about him not being married iyswim?
Anyway August last year he asked me to marry him and told me his divorce was almost finalised. I went and bought my dress, bridesmaids dresses, booked the church etc and then I discovered January this year his divorce was nowhere near finalised because he had not done anything about printing and sending a form off.
I asked him calmly why he had not done so and his reply was "I don't love you enough to marry you". My initial reaction was one of hurt and crying. This was all around my birthday and tbh it ended up being a pretty shitty time.
We then sat down and had a long indepth talk where I was basically saying "I don't know if I can move on from what you have said" and he went into depth about his childhood and how his mother had sexually abused him for 3yrs hence his ways etc. I explained I felt he would benefit from counselling and he nodded and said yes in all the right places. He also added he would get his divorce sorted asap as he did love me.
Roll on to Friday last week. I went out and a friend of mine got rather drunk so I said she could stay at mine the night - to me this is what friends do. I came in with her and made both of us a coffee, went and made DS1's bed and said goodnight. She then stood there and said "Tles tles Tles, what would I have done without you tonight" and hugged me.
He sent a text from the bedroom to say "What the fuck is that you have with you" I replied "My friend".
I went into the bedroom and he started telling me I should have cleared with him first that it was ok to bring her back, to which I replied "this is my home and tbh you don't have a choice".
He then went into a barrage of insults and accusations of how I was a slag and was looking to have some fun with my dyke mate. TBH I just laughed at him and went to sleep.
Saturday he spent the day sending abusive messages about how I am fat, need to get a grip as nobody would want me, I act like a bloke, he wouldn't have been with me still if I hadn't got pregnant and had DS2.
I hardly spoke to him on Saturday evening and on Sunday had a lazy day with DS2. I went out Sunday evening and had a barrage of texts pretty much the same as I had had on Saturday daytime. I sent him a message and said "If this doesn't stop I will not be coming back tonight as I really cannot cope with anymore of this shit"
Hence why I didn't come home.
He called me in the day yesterday and asked what was for dinner so i told him and said his was ready and was in the microwave. (bear in mind he does not live with me, he is here most days and I cook for him, do his washing etc but he has a room with friends) So he came in and basically started trying to cause further upset, I ignored him and didn't respond. So he went to bed. He then got up and started telling me how I was a disgusting person who didn't deserve him and I should think myself lucky as he "is the best thing to have ever happened to me".
I told him in no uncertain terms that this had to stop and be sorted one way or another and left it at that.
He called me a few minutes ago and wanted to know what I wanted to do as a family on Sunday and I said "You think thats actually going to be enjoyable for any of us in this current situation" He then asked if he and the boys were still coming to the pub with me on Friday - despite me telling him on many different ocassions that I dont like the boys in the pub on a Friday, I don't mind taking them on the very rare Sunday when the pub is not as busy and we have Dinner there, stay for the early evening entertainment and be home for the boys to get to bed by 9. I also had made arrangements to go out with a friend this week who has been having a really bad time lately after finding her partner of 16yrs has a 14m old son with someone else. So he started moaning and said "You didn't ask me if you could go" To which I replied "Sorry my dad died 7yrs ago, I didn't realise he had appointed you the job of ruling me". He didn't like that mumbled something and hung up.
I think I have covered everything [sigh]