Look omg as you know, I recall your other threads and I understand precisely why Math has had that response to this one and I agree with her, especially based on the limited information you've posted here.
What I think Math has astutely picked up is that you see yourself as a victim in all this and therefore you seem to have a tendency not to own your own choices, or acknowledge that you have them. As you know, it's something I gave you a bit of a hard time for, on your other threads.
I notice for example that you blame the OM for "reeling you back in" but that's rather disingenuous of you, because you have been communicating with him yourself and he has now presumably responded at last. On another thread, you blamed him for ignoring your appeals and now you're upset that he's hooked you again.
We don't have your H's side of the story here, but you have painted him on other threads as a controlling, emotionally abusive man. Perhaps because of your difficult childhood, you have had difficulty asserting yourself in your marriage and making transparent choices to leave the marriage. But as you know, having an affair is a covert aggressive act - punishing someone without him knowing he is being punished. That's fruitless because as punitive acts go, the message doesn't hit home and it puts you in the wrong because you are being passive and deceitful about your choices.
I also think you've got confused and flawed objectives for the counselling - you say the therapy is about trying to make your marriage better on your own. But that can't be the case if you're trying to sabotage it elsewhere by resuming contact with the OM.
Now, if you were to say that the counselling was to explore why you behave in the way you do, or to help you take responsibility for your choices, or to develop the courage to stand apart from both men who as you describe them, are in their own ways manipulative abusers - or all these objectives, then it could be enormously worthwhile.