My baby's father - transgender

[KelKelKel]

Hi, I?m mum for my 2 year old beautiful baby daughter. I met my daughter?s biological father in 2008, moved in with him and unfortunately very soon got pregnant. We lived together for about 2 years when I found out that he is transgender living double live as women, fully dressing up, chatting and meeting up with other men and even had his own she-male escort service while I was pregnant and later on while I was raising our baby thinking he?s/she?s working proper job.
Last time I saw him/her was about 6 months ago when he/her dared to come to visit our daughter having fake eye lashes on, it?s needless to mention that he/she looked as a clown and I don?t want my daughter to be confused at such young age. It is not acceptable for me or my family and never will be.
Beside I have met a new partner who truly is like a real father to my daughter.
I have found some articles about children of Trans but it?s mostly about teenagers that lived with their dads for years till they discover they fathers are transgender. Also have seen some web sites that explain transgender lives and how hard it is for them and etc. but not much info about actual women (partners of transgender) and where they can seek for help and advice. How they cope, sure we have a feeling too! I don?t care about him/her to be honest but it hurts so much thinking one day I will need to explain things to my daughter.
Is it really acceptable for people like my ex to have kids deliberately?? As I now know he/she had these strange things going on with him/her since early age (dressing up, being confused who he/she is etc.) and then start relationship hiding it and living double live.
Has anyone here has any experience in such things? I would love to have a private chat with someone with similar problems? just to try to understand what would be the best thing to do next or maybe find some answers.

Doesn't sound transgender tbf. Sounds like a man who gets off on appropriating womanhood in order to shag other men. I get the viterol op and I don't think it's directed at trans people. I think its directed at this...frankly,
skank of an ex.

That you think s/he's an example of what trans people are. But in truth...he's arguably just one example. From the dreggs of the barrel. If he actually even is trans as opposed to some sick fetish-ist.

It sounds like s/he's the sort of person that is best avoided.

The one thing you need to be sure to do though is raise your child knowing that any sex can do anything. That girls can like blue and sports etc... theres no need to change your sex. And to keep careful watch for any kind of mental health issues in her teens that could lead her to think she might be 'like her dad' as a catch all explaination.

Trans people like Buck Angel and Blaire White are on YouTube and not part of the new age activism cult bs (they believe being genuinely trans is very rare, for example). They may be worth watching for you so that if your kid asks in future, you can give sensible info that counteracts the narrative commonly being pushed in the media.

Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, with different mental health issues. You've every right to protect your kid but sometimes protecting them means giving them more information...not shielding them from all information. Because if you do the later, they may go do their own research in all the wrong places. Many trans people are lovely. I'm sorry that your ex isn't one of them.

This is a zombie thread. 13 years old!

It would be interesting to hear how it all turned out though.

@Ash1102 most people on here will answer the original question.

The feminism board has a long running thread in transwidows that will help.https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4879982-trans-widows-escape-committee-6-the-next-generation

Also Benjamin Boyce

Also https://www.pittparents.com/

Just remember that you do not have to like what he does. Ever. You are allowed to take time to think about it all and make up your own mind.

Fuck me, what a load of utter dick pandering nonsense. This pig of a man prostitution himself behind OPs back and put her health at risk WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT. He is absolute scum and you want to make out she’s the bad guy?

OP, I wouldn’t want him around my child ever. He clearly doesn’t give a damn about her, but realistically, I don’t know how you can stop him. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. He cheated on you, lied to you and put your health at risk, I’d never forgive that and I can understand why you feel you need to protect your child from him.

Ugh, zombie 🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♀️

This thread is 13 years old and the DD is 15 now so whatever the OP decided to do re her ex partner is a long way past the stage of us giving advice

It sounds as if you want to cut him out, but that is not in your daughter's interests

How would you know that?

You don't.

@Mumsnet- please can you close this, its a proper zombie!!

Ignore. Zombie thread.

Your truly are warped u know nothings.
not only is it selfish to involve children in this utter nonsense the child they see as a MAN A FATHER FIGURE it’s also wrong and pig ignorant for you to even make such comment when your in no position to do so. How dare you. And yes it is an old post!!! I commented on it because I’m now in a similar predicament and highly distressed at this and would like to see how this individual navigated through this.

just because this is the sad society we now live in it doesn’t mean I need to accept this bullshit and accept that lifestyle for my child !! Fuck off!!

Really interesting to see how attitudes on here have shifted against trans people over the past 13 years.

The older replies are measured, reassuring and generally don't put down trans people. The latest ones are quite different.

That's what happens when people try to force thoughts onto people.

I think a lot more people were 'live and let live' about trans people in the past, then we started to have biological men raping women with their penises being allowed to call themselves women, and the news stories saying "woman raped woman in park"....and if people criticize that they get subjected to abuse!

Forcing tolerance is creating less tolerance, especially when people are being forced to tolerate things that they are deeply offensive such as male rapists being referred to as women.

I think society could get back to being more tolerant but the change has to come from the other side who is pushing the agenda trying to force tolerance for deplorable things.