Email from the ex has pissed me off

[whethergirl]

I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago and decided we should have a clean break. Although I have insisted that we have no contact, he has sent several emails which I have ignored. All has been quiet for weeks, then I get another email from him today, and it's pissing me off and wonder if I should just write one last reply, which is what he is requesting, for "closure".

The email has the same victim mentality, poor me, manipulative, emotionally draining tone that I ran away from. I don't want to be horrible to him, yet he keeps giving me the whole "why can't we be friends? I thought you cared? Obviously you're not the person I thought you were. Am I really so terrible?" crap which is now making me want to say my piece.

I have tried to be as tactful and gentle as I can with him, but in the last email I sent him in Feb, I told him I didn't like him trying to force his friendship on me, that he needed to try and move on as I have. He then replied saying he wanted a couple of jewellery items (given to me as presents!) back and that this was his last communication (which he has also promised several times).

He is really fucking annoying me. What do you think I should do?

Thanks for clearing that up heypresto, and thank god you're not MY whinyarse loser ex. I thought I was going to have to leave mumsnet forever, or, even worse, namechange and only post about receipes.

At times, this place has kept me sane (says a lot for my life ). To discover that an ex has invaded my sane place is the equivalent of them wondering into my bedroom and reading my personal journal. Not nice. Perhaps you could give your ex a thought and find another forum heypresto?

If it's sympathy shags your looking for you'll get PLENTY on another site with a very similiar name.

Fair dos indeed .

Yeah I think you're right and I'm sorry if this whole thing has disconcerted you. As I said on my original thread, I don't really know if she does use it, I just thought she might as she's a young mum.
Anyway, I shall bow out gracefully and never darken your cyber doors again.

Oh....and what's the name of that other site? ;-)

thanks for that, HP

can you see now why you got a hard time for saying your ex was "possibly" a Mumsnet user ?

< cough > Netmums < cough >

OP
I had an ex like yours. Wanted to be 'friends', wanted emotional access to me, it was awful. I tolerated his phone calls because I didn't want to be unkind (I was only 21). Finally I had enough - he called me late one evening, I said I wanted to go to bed, he asked me if I would talk to him on my mobile from my bed. I just hung up. I just couldn't bear his intrusiveness any longer. Email wasn't particularly prevalent at the time but he called me late at night from a witheld number for 2 years after. Finally, after hearing from a mutual acquaintance that he felt he needed to speak to me because we had 'unfinished business' I changed my number and never heard from him again. Who knows how long he would have been irritating me for if I hadn't.

Do not email him back, do not respond. Just block his email address and forget about him. Sad act that he is.

ENM, I am always surprised at how textbook some people are. When I was having doubts about our relationship I posted on mumsnet, and I thought everyone was a bit OTT with their assumptions on his behaviour but it all turned out to be true! Bloody hell, unfinished business, after 2 YEARS!! Can't beleive he said that without feeling like a complete twat.

I know! It was a 9 month relationship when we were 20, during which he was pretty unpleasant to me - I ended it when I relaised how unpleasant he really was, as was my right - I told him clearly that it was over, there really wasn't any kind of unfinished business between us!

SGB called it about 4 posts in, as I recall. Crystal Balls R Us

i had a needy ex like that aswell...have u no male friends who cud pretend to be a new boyfriend??? i basically did that n he soon got the msg

Just read page 1 and I am pretty sure that 99% of posters will say IGNORE!

Just dont comment on anything he says and if you continue to get more emails from him then get a letter sent via solicitor asking him to cease and fuckoff desist.

rachyaimeelou - well in his emails he always assumes I must have found a boyfriend by now "and sincerely hopes we are very happy together". I think he is trying to provoke me to tell him that I have/haven't.

Coffee - solicitors sounds so OTT but will bear it in mind! Every time I get an email from him, I just keep thinking, surely this is the very last one, SURELY he if I ignore him AGAIN he will just give up.

Oh IGNORE - naturally. For as long as it takes.

Hmmmm can you do something to liven up the ignoring somewhat? This may go on for a while, could you buy yourself a HUGE box of chocs and only award yourself one when you get an email/text? You'll soon be jumping for joy when another whinefest PINGS into the inbox

Disclaimer: am fully aware of my flippant tone and hope it isn't inappropriate - you've had excellent advice on here and am pleased to see that you are dealing with this absolutely bang on - keep ignoring - any attempt to push things any further and I'd inform the police of his harrassment of you. What a nob.