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Original poster

this is likely to be a bullshit line isnt it?

46 replies

bitofdust · 02/05/2011 16:57

the situation:

Man and i have strong feelings for each other, have told each other this, but nothing seems to happen. Either i back out or he does.

The reason i do is because im terrified i will end up heartbroken. Terrified.

Hes currently seeing somone else and ive questioned why, he said, becuase i wont see him and ( and this is the bit i think is a line) because its easier than seeing me. seeing me is scary because it means so much, and because i mean so much. She is easy, because it means nothing.

I told him i thought that was a bullshit line and he said then i really dont get men at all.

So?? bullshit line? or truth?

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 02/05/2011 16:59

Bullshit line

and if he is prepared to be so casual about someone elses feelings double bullshit

amberleaf · 02/05/2011 16:59

Well its his truth.

I think you're right to be terrified tbh

deemented · 02/05/2011 17:00

So... he's telling you he adores you and wants to be with you... yet he's having his end away with someone else?

What do you think? Do you really have to ask if it's bullshit?

Hassled · 02/05/2011 17:01

He sounds like a git. He'll be sending you angst-ridden poetry next.
Let's just hope the Someone Else feels the same way about him as he does about her - for all you (or he) know, she's heavily emotionally invested.

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:02

i think its bullshit.

but to be fair, i have refused lots of times to see him, ( this spreads over 2 years) so i cant say i blame him really.

but i think it doesnt show him in a very good light to be so dismissive of someone hes been seeing for a while.

and i still think thats bullshit.

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 02/05/2011 17:06

I bet she doesn't know that she means nothing.

Sounds to me as if he isn't quite as nice a person as you think he is.

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:08

no. i bet she doesnt know either.
tbh, makes me more sure i dont want to be involved. because what if he treats me like that?

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 02/05/2011 17:11

Well exactly.

Shows not a very nice attitude towards our fellow humans.

Do you know, I think your subconscious might have had this thought in the back of your mind for a loooong time.

I can understand the fear of getting hurt - but when that perfect person comes along - bam! - the fear doesn't usually come out trumps.

Yes you like him a hell of a lot...but you know already at some level that you don't trust him.

I'd move on!

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:17

so, why do men think these stupid lines will work?
i said straight away to him that was a bullshit line and asked if he thought i was stupid.
he said it wasnt a line, it was the truth and how men worked.

?????

hes been chasing me for almost 2 years. we have been on one date a year ago, but we do speak several times a week still.

i think im terrified because i dont trust him because of things like this really. not because of anything else.

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 02/05/2011 17:22

I don't think it's "how men work", I think it's a convenient lie for some men to rationalise their shitty behaviour. To be fair, it's probably a line used by some people to rationalise their shitty behaviour. I don't think it's limited to men.

Gay40 · 02/05/2011 17:25

Sounds like a crock of crap to me.

TakeItOnTheChins · 02/05/2011 17:26

I'm struggling to understand why you would have strong feelings of anything other than revulsion for him, TBH.

BarbaraBar · 02/05/2011 17:26

Utter utter bullshit.

Having his cake and eating it.

Keeping his options open.

etc etc etc

TheVisitor · 02/05/2011 17:28

Ew, what a bullshit merchant. If he was the right man for you, you'd be with him.

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:31

ok - so this might sound stupid. but why? whats in it for him? ive never slept with him? ive told him i wont see him until hes single.
So?? whats he gaining from this?

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 02/05/2011 17:35

I don't know!!

It seems monumentally thick.

Not all of them do though... err, the non-arrogant ones... the non-thick ones?

He does sound rather game-playing... probably because he knows you like him.

2 years?? Methinks he likes the chase as much as the idea of being with you.

You are right not to trust him. Carry on with the game if you're having fun Grin - but if you're looking for a relationship I'd put my energies elsewhere.

ShoutyHamster · 02/05/2011 17:37

There you go, x-post... what's in it for him - a fun flirty game with someone he fancies. At the expense of his girlfriend.

He's just a player.

Jux · 02/05/2011 17:37

Bullshit definitely.

If he can treat her like that, then he can treat you like that. And he will.

Mamaz0n · 02/05/2011 17:38

i think it sounds like a load of bollox but from what you say i think it is the best thing for both of you.

BelleDameSansMerci · 02/05/2011 17:38

He's keeping his options open; he's trying to make sure you don't think badly of him; he still thinks he has a chance of sleeping with you (and, I bet if this happens he will continue to spin the same line).

It sounds a bit as if you want to believe him...

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:49

of course id like to belive him., else i wouldnt be asking :)

i know its bullshit. i said straight away its bullshit. I told him it was bullshit.

i would like for it not to be bullshit. but it is.

a game? a game that lasts for 2 years? how stupid would that be?
what on earth would be the point?
god, men are stupid.

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 02/05/2011 17:51

Sounds like an arse.

What did you get out of spinning it out over 2 years, though?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 02/05/2011 17:52

He wants sex with you. He doesn't want to mess up his current relationship without getting something upfront.

lubeybooby · 02/05/2011 17:56

Total bullshit!!! and also agree with what EvenLessNarkyPuffin said

Original poster
bitofdust · 02/05/2011 17:58

i got nothing.
Im really not worth waiting for 2 years for a shag! more fool him really.
still dont understand his motivation. Hes getting sex, why would he want it with me? and why on earth wait 2 years plus for it? makes no sense to me?

OP posts: