Anyone got any experience of being in an Open marriage?

[chamenage]

I've name changed for this as my sister is on here and knows my user name and I'd rather not have this as a subject for discussion over sunday lunch.

Okay, so in a nutshell - DH has only ever been with me and we've been together for 16 years. He wants to have sex with other people but doesn't want to sneak around and cheat on me behind my back. He says he'd never leave me for anyone else. We're talking about him seeing other people for a year. I'm not thrilled about the idea but I don't own him and just want him to be totally happy and I'd rather know about it than have him lie to me.

I know that I'm going to get "Are you mad?" "There's something deeply wrong with your marriage" type responses but I wouldn't be considering it for a second if I didn't think we were rock solid.

The conditions I've put down are that he's to be discreet and not to get involved emotionally with anyone else and to be safe obviously. He said that I can see other people too but I'm not interested in anyone else and I can't be arsed.

Anyone else given this a whirl and have any advice?

Thanks again everyone. There's been some great advice and viewpoints here.

We had a talk about it when he came back from work last night. He wants to try it out of pure curiosity, nothing more. It's a case of always wondering about what you haven't had.

I asked him some of the questions raised in the thread but my main point was, that although I can think that I will be okay with him being with other people, I don't know that when he comes home having had someone else I'm not going to reject him completely and not want him anywhere near me. I told him that my biggest fear is that it would ruin our marriage.

He said he's not prepared to risk that and wouldn't pursue the idea any further.

Thanks again for all your help

A place for everyone and everyone in their place,
Was it this that spawned the human race?
Maybe lock it up and put it away,
that way we can all smile today.

That's good news that he says he won't pursue it further.

But be careful that what he says and what he does is the same thing.

I'd be really worried if I were you, sorry :(

That sounds very positive op , im glad you didnt agree to it if you had doubts . I would still keep your eye out , because i am a cynical old bat like that , but hopefully it will have been one of those musing thoughtless conversations that will be forgotton about.