I am a regular but have namechanged for this out of sheer paranoia!!!
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now. He is amazing, kind and loving and I'm very very happy with him. .
We both have 2 dc each and he had his for a week in the Easter holidays which we all spent together. The problem is that his kids are awful. They are rude, badly behaved, whiny and aggressive. He is so soft with them and can't say no to anything because he only has them for limited periods of time and wants them to enjoy their time with him, which I understand, but they have used this to their advantage, as kids do and they manipulate him by playing him off against their Mum.
Now my kids aren't angels at all, but they have rules and boundaries and know what they can and can't get away with. I'm not over strict but I like them to have good manners and set limits to their behaviour. They know that if they ask for something and I say "No" then that is that, also they know that I won't put up with them hitting each other and swearing is absolutely not allowed. Apart from that I am quite easy going I think.
The root of the problem is that him and his ex wife absolutely hate each other and she uses the dc as a weapon to hurt him as much as she can whereas I get on quite well with my exH and we try to show a united front to the dc. So when mine play up I can tell him (or at least threaten to) and we both deal with it together. As soon as he tries to discipline his they threaten to tell their Mum.
He wants me to take the same 2 weeks off as him in the summer and spend the time together again, but I can't do it. I can handle every other weekend with them, but I can't spend 2 whole weeks with them and I can't put my dc through it either.
So where does that leave us in the future? Its ok now because we don't live together, but there will come a time when we will want move in together and I will have to put up with this all the time and I can't!