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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I want to have a lesbian experience...

43 replies

msbunbury · 21/04/2011 18:39

Partner fully supportive but I doont know where to start.. cough.. What to do... I'm also a bit worried about disease - having only had one partner - what do people do about checking for nasty stuff? Even the nicest type of people get some hideous stds so how do you broach it?!
Any advice, experience or thoughts?

OP posts:
Einsteinolonger · 21/04/2011 18:40

1/10

cyb · 21/04/2011 18:41

well it sounds like you've already got a nasty cough so I would wait for that to clear up if I was you

donnie · 21/04/2011 18:43

just go up to someone you like the look of and ask her for a shag - but check she hasn't got any nasty diseases beforehand. Supermarkets and train stations are quite good for that sort of thing, or there is always the hard core lesbian clubs. Are you near King's Cross?

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 18:44

That's nice, dear.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 21/04/2011 18:56

I think it's just off the M25 before you get to Thorpe Park. The rides are great but the parking is terrible.

Malificence · 21/04/2011 19:03

You can get vouchers for those with nectar points you know.

aliceliddell · 21/04/2011 19:03

What kind of lesbian expertience do you want? Getting your leg hair caught in the laces of your 16 hole DM's? Getting queer bashed on the night bus? Going shopping in IKEA? Having one special night a week (never Fri or Sat) in your local gay bar Taking the dogs for a walk? Many of these are available in a town near you...

donnie · 21/04/2011 19:06

pmsl @ getting leg hair caught!

takes me back to the old days of stacked loafers from shellys....

vickylou2004 · 21/04/2011 22:22

What a disrespectful bunch you are.

Think this poster was looking for a bit of advice.

tigercametotea · 21/04/2011 22:26

You might find this helpful : www.avert.org/lesbians-safe-sex.htm

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 21/04/2011 22:27

Probably the best thing to do is go to a swingers' club that has bi-nights and bi-curious nights. That will be a safe, friendly evironment full of people who are looking for NSA sex. You could try contact ads or a swingers/NSA site with personal ads as well, but it will take longer and you will almost certainly encounter a lot of 'lesbo penfriends' as we used to call them - men who are exctied by the idea of 'lesbian sex' and therfore pretend to be lesbians and wa 'share fantasies'.

Original poster
msbunbury · 22/04/2011 09:07

Thanks sgb, tiger and vickylou - I was quite upset actually from the tone of the first posts - returned this am to find at least some people want to help - thankyou. Its a genuine question - hence the name change - and something which I want to explore rather than building up in my mind over the next 30 years into possibly something bigger than it is. I spose I don't want to commit myself to a relationship or even to sex but I can't simply jump a random woman?!?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 22/04/2011 09:46

Not if she's not willing, no. There are laws about things like that.

electra · 22/04/2011 09:51

msbunbury -

'Even the nicest type of people get some hideous stds'

Perhaps if you'd hidden your own prejudices more effectively you would have had better responses.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 22/04/2011 10:03

Mrsbunbury: That's why I suggested swingers' clubs. THe people you meet there are up for experimenting sexually and tend to have a fairly easy-going attitude. Whereas if you start sounding out your friends or going to specifically lesbian social events with a few to pulling, you run a big risk of offending people, hurting their feelings, or getting yourself into uncomfortable situations.
Ther's nothing wrong with being bi-curious, but it does help to remember that other people are people, too, and not just walking talking sex toys.

hogsback · 22/04/2011 10:05

You'll need to join the International Council of Lesbians first. It costs £12 and you need to send two passport sized photos.

boxingHelena · 22/04/2011 11:55

I dont understand if you want to shag a woman or she is supposed to join in with your hubby. Very different kind of thing from a gay woman perspective
SGB is a safer bet by the sound of it...
Dont go and tell anybody in a gay club your are curious and you husband approve cause it sucks!

boxingHelena · 22/04/2011 11:56

pardon I mean SGB advice is a safer bet...not SGB as a person Blush

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 22/04/2011 11:58

Internet dating? I would imagine finding a date of the same sex is the same as finding one of the opposite sex and internet dating seems to be the thing at the moment.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 22/04/2011 14:16

BoxingHelena: you hitting on me? [bgrin]

Prunnhilda · 22/04/2011 14:22

Is shopping in Ikea a lesbian thing, then? Confused

FoofffyShmoofffer · 22/04/2011 14:33

Prunhilda Apparently Ikea not so much, Wholefoods definitely.Grin

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 14:41

boxingHelena - I did think that was a little forward of you offering SGB up like that Grin

MsBunbury - I have no idea, but SGB's advice is usually spot on about these things. However, I think if I was curious I'd be too nervous to do that and I'd opt for an internet site maybe - there must be a few for others who are curious or who are willing to 'see' someone who is just curious?? I guess that perhaphs it depends how body confident you are, if you would happily go to a bi curious even I guess it would be the easiest way to meet likeminded people and possibly safer than meeting someone from the internet?!

As for STD's, I don't suppose there is anyway of checking/being sure so you either have to use protection (but vaginal dams would really seem to defeat the purpose if you ask me?! A bit like putting the picnic blanket on top of the picnic!!) or pray & go for regular check ups! SGB might have some better advice.

I hope you work something out - let us know how you get on Wink

Original poster
msbunbury · 22/04/2011 14:50

Thanks - yes I've always seen sgb as a bit of a guru! Chipping-in - you've hit the nail on the head - I am nervous. For me its more like I want to express the love that I feel for people but without restricting myself to one sex iyswim? I wouldn't really want to meet up with someone simply because they have the right equipment as it would simply be mechanical then rather than exploration or emotion or simply chemistry.
Thanks for the link to the site - looked up dental dams and not overly keen on "cutting a condom in half or using clingfilm..?!

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 15:03

Link to the site?? Sorry, not with you?

Hmm - well, it would seem to me that if it's not just the sex you are after, you are going to have to brave going to one of the bi-curious events aren't you?! I guess you could meet people off of the internet just to talk and see if you make a connection in the same way you'd set up a date if you were looking for a straight date - except do you want a relationship or a sexual encounter??

Cutting a condom in half?? urgh.

Clingfilm?? urgh (and would it even do the job??)

I don't know, but there are some lovely ladies on here who are lesbian who may be able to give you some good advice!

In all honestly, I think I would be going for 'praying & testing' vaginal dams sound revolting and as I said, covering the picnic with the blanket (I was going to say rug but... Grin).... but maybe one of the lovely ladies can suggest something more 'user friendly'.

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