I want to have a lesbian experience...

[msbunbury]

Partner fully supportive but I doont know where to start.. cough.. What to do... I'm also a bit worried about disease - having only had one partner - what do people do about checking for nasty stuff? Even the nicest type of people get some hideous stds so how do you broach it?!
Any advice, experience or thoughts?

Dental dams are really fine/ sensitive to feel through. Never used them myself but used to give them out along with condoms.

The thing which I can't stop thinking about in all of this is that you are not just looking to shag a woman, you are looking for a woman who you connect with, which is great, bit what if you fall for her, or her for you? I understand how you feel, but can't help but feel that someone may well end up getting hurt, and you may open up a whole can of worms in your relationship..

Msbunbury: I think you might also find it useful to read The Ethical Slut and/or Tristian Taormino's book Opening Up. They are books about monogamy-free ways of living and include some discussion on bisexuality. Both can be a bit heavy on the therapy-speak but there is a lot of good advice in them.

I have to say that I was really shocked by the first string of posts here. What a ugly way to respond to someone!
I'm a gay woman who came out quite late in life, and for everyone that goes through it, coming out is a stressful and uncertain time (not helped by people chucking in unwanted or aggressive advice).
Mrsbunbury: you may find that you get a much more sympathetic and constructive response from gay/ mixed websites where there are lots of people feeling just the same thing as you. Wanting to experiment is not unusual at all, and you're lucky that you can talk to your partner about it. Try the gingerbeer.co.uk and gaydargirls.com websites which are for bi and gay women too.
As for the STDs, well, it's worth knowing that rates of infection of things like chlamydia, herpes and hep C are far higher in heterosexuals than in homosexual women, but like with any new relationship you have to just suck it up (so to speak...) and ask the person.
Personally I wouldn't worry about that now, I'd start by seeing how you feel when you meet or talk to women with the same outlook as you (yes, there are lots more of you!). And I would agree with SGB - remember that the other people you come across are people too with their own wishes and desires, not something for you to play with.
But don't worry - you're not weird, and no one knows what they are doing in the beginning. It's nerve wracking for everyone! But everyone (of us) was there once.
Good luck and have fun!

I've got to say I'm really quite shocked at some of these posts! Talk about sweeping generalisations.

Thanks Sunshine - will definitely look at those websites as soon as I've finished this reply! Hadn't thought there might be a forum or somewhere with advice like that (duh-thumps head!) - yes hopefully it will be a little more supportive (and less upsetting) than here.
Lots of questions - but probably best not to ask here!! Thanks again.

Msbun

Sunshine's post is brilliant. As is SGB's

I'm not ashamed of my first same sex experience at all. I fancied the girl it was with. We were both a bit tipsy, not drunk and it just kind of happened. We wanted to kiss so we did.

Then we went further and became very intimate. I can honestly say that being with a woman is FAR different from being with a man.

I found her so gentle and tactile. Like she knew how I was feeling, which I suppose she would!

It was a good 15 years ago now, but I'll never forget how she made me feel.

Go for it. Gay clubs, Manchester has Canal Street, I'm sure other places have similar bars.

I agree that a gay forum would serve you better than asking here, you'll find less harsh posts for a start.

Have fun!

try anrolling on a site called fabswingers
i am sure you will find someone to your taste

I'm not completely convinced by the advice "head for the swingers" - but then again, I'm not really interested in swinging.

I'd say there's plenty of NSA sex to be had no matter which way you go, but once you bring emotions into it....someone is going to get hurt. Generally the husband, who gets told to sling his hook.

Try gaydargirls.com

Never been on that either, but friends tell me it's good for weird pick-ups (their friends have told them this, obviously).

OP, I'm not clear from your post whether you are looking for a one-off sexual experience, or whether you want to explore your lesbian identity in a fuller way. So I'll just warn you that many lesbians (myself included) have had lots of experience of being approached in bars/clubs by married women who are looking for a little action, usually with their husband's approval (often hoping to join in, or at least get a vicarious thrill at second hand). This seems to us disrespectful at best, downright creepy at worst. So approach with care and respect, and don't be surprised if you get a bit of a reaction. You may do better with another bi-curious woman, rather than with a lesbian (though the sex probably won't be as good )

Good luck; take care of yourself and others.

A bit of a reaction = being told you go fuck yourself.

Yep, that would be it, Gay40.

What Hester said!

Worth checking out gaydargirls. Not sure what it's like these days but there used to be a mix of lesbian and bi women on there so might give you an idea of what your looking for

Sorry but was a bit put out by the hostility on this thread

Im trying not to read too much into the language used in your posts "lesbian experience"? It just smacks of ticking off something on your bucket list alongside the white water rafting experience and living with locals in Kenya.

I'd echo what Hester said and it goes for bi women too. Most of us have been approached to be a straight girls experiment and frankly...it sucks. I'd suggest a swingers club too - that way, IF you suffer that dreadful regret a lot of experimenting straight women get the next morning either because they didnt enjoy it (because they really ARE straight) or they enjoyed it too much (so what does that say about me, oh my god!)... then well, no harm no foul and no one gets caught in the fallout.

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