affairs and happy marriages

[flamingo]

If you have a truly happy marriage, could you be tempted to have an affair?

No.

Tempted yes. Have it no.

IMO is abnormal if you don't fancy other people sometimes. DH admits he does and so do I. We just don't do anything about it

I have been know to walk up to him at a party when he's talking to a girl for him to hiss "F**k off, I've pulled"! at me (lol, does wonders for his ego bless!)

I'm not saying that I don't find other people attractive but I really have no interest in taking it any further than a look once in a while. My marriage is bourne ut of an affair (I was in an LTR when I met and started seeing my now DH) and so I've been there, done that and I'm fully aware of the consequences. Throw my kids into the mix and I am even less likely to.

I think it depends whether you're 'in love' at the time or in a companionship phase. Temptation is probably a sign you're lacking something in your relationship, perhaps appreciation, sex or mental stimulation and opportunity. It's hard for one person to supply all your needs all the time, which can lead to temptation, but I don't think that means you don't have a happy marriage. When I feel tempted I tend to give myself time to 'cool off' by not seeing the man in question.

Must say am never tempted to the extent where I consider doing something about it. TBH after 14 years with the Count the thought of sex with anyone else grosses me out - what if they were really crap or didn't know what I liked. Can't be arsed with all that!

Oh and this is one case where I KNOW the grass wouldn't be greener on the other side. I do have a v happy marriage and I can't imagine being with anyone else could be better.

I look but don't want to touch - I don't know where it's been iykwim

No. Doesn't mean to say you can't find other people attractive though. I'm with the Countess on this one - I have found my soulmate and still fancy the pants off him anyway.Can't imagine ever loving someone the way I love him.

No - never ever -could not do it to dh, the kids nor myself never mind rest of family !!!!!!!!!!!

No, too much to lose - and I could never muster the energy. Plus, have been monogamous for 12 years now..so last time I had sex with anyone other than dh I was pre-children, pre- stretch marks, pre-breastfeeding and a size 10. The thought of baring all to someone new makes me shudder...

I agree with everyone else here, but I have known several men who have had affairs who claim it is no reflection on the state of their marriage . Not sure I believe them.

I have changed my name for this discussion
NOT!!! I do believe it is to much to risk for a few moments of passion....not when I consider that I am lucky enough to be married to a wonderful man. When children are involved, it just makes it all the more clear in terms of loyalty and commitment. I've been a one-man gal for 10 years and I really want it to remain that way too.

If I or my DH were to have an affair it would be the end of our marriage.
Didn't we say 'Forsaking all others ...' in our marriage vows? ... I personally took my vows very seriously.
I think you would have to be blind not to find other people attractive .... but to actually 'go there' would ruin our marriage and I never understand people who say it is 'healthy' to have affairs.

No I couldnt. Love and fancy dh too much to risk losing him and our family life together.

Arent we all a faithful, content bunch

Purely for the sex..... then probably yes.

Am I a bad person?

I couldnt and wouldnt have an affair. The thought of it does not remotely interest me. If dh ever had one he knows what the consequences would be - castration When you are brought up in a family where you parents were particually adulteress I think it puts you off for life, IME anyway.

Message withdrawn

No way. I'd never have an affair because my dh and family life are so important to me.

How many of you think your dh/dp would have one then?

Well I sincerely hope that my dh wouldn't - he frequently has to work away from home, so the opportunity is there

yes my dh works away too so I hope he wouldnt have one either. The funny thing is he works with this woman who is in her 50s and keeps offering to put him up for the night in her 'spare room'......

My DH's first marriage ended cos his ex 'played away' (before me met).

I know how much it hurt him, and wouldn't even think of causing him that much pain. Because he knows how hurtful he is, I'm confident that he wouldn't do it either.

And what do you all think constitutes an affair. If for eg I found out that my dh had got really drunk (which he rarely does) and had a one night stand I would be gutted but I wouldn't end my marriage for it. TBH I would just rather not know and let him feel guilty.

Something long-term would be very different. All the lieing and cheating involved would be really hard to deal with. Just interested to know what you all think.

Um I think I would want to know if he had used a condom or not, I dont want to catch STDs -sorry I know I am getting a bit serious but I hate the thought I dont think it would end our marriage either but I dunno