So if your parents or PIL's live within half an hour of you...

[madamedeluca]

how often do you see them? Only asking as my mother may be moving closer and I wanted to know what would be considered normal.

My MIL lives about 5 mins away by car, we see her 2-3 times a week, she has my DC two days a week while I'm at work and then she generally comes round one evening a week for her tea or for Sunday lunch.

My DM, on the other hand, lives abroad but when she was living 15 mins away from my DB visited him twice in 3 years and complained bitterly about the fact that she never saw her 3 GC. She had done her running around apparently, it was now up to my brother to visit her!

ILs were a 10min drive and we saw them everyday. But that is because they'd pick up our dog while we were at work, and we'd have to stop in to pick her up on the way home. While there they'd do our dishes, and MIL would do our housework . Lovely people.

my parents and my sister and her family live in the same town 45 minutes away from me, atm I go over maybe once a week. some weeks I see my parents, some weeks I see my sister, some weeks I see both

Mine live about 20 mins away - usually see once a week / fortnight depending on DCs busy social lives.

PILs used to live an hour away - we'd see them a few times a year - they've now moved 2000 miles away - we've seen them twice in 7 years - I can just about cope with that

my parents on the other hand, live in another country. Haven't seem my mother for 4 years, and I like it that way. If we lived even in the same country, let alone within 30mins, she'd be barging her way into our life and causing ructions ALL THE TIME (well apart from when she was on a not-speaking-to-me cycle)

My PIL live about 2 mins away, my parents are about 15 mins away. I/we see each of them once a week on average

My PILs live a mile and a half away. I take the DCs round once a week and they babysit for us once a fortnight, plus occasional other visits. If your mum's moving from far away and won't have a social network then you should probably anticipate seeing a bit more of her.

I was a little nervous about living so close to the PILs but it's been really good, great for the DCs and it's reassuring to have them some close to hand in case we should need help in an emergency.

My IL's live about 20mins away but we only see them when they want something. DH not close to his family.

My mum lives 2min's around the cornor, I see most days but DH only see occasionnly.

DH did say when mum asked him if it was ok for her to move so close that it was fine but if it was his parents asking then he would move .

She currently lives about 200 miles away and we see her two or three times a year (last saw her before Christmas). To be honest this suits me just fine. But for some unknown reason she has decided to move to the same borough as us. I'm dreading it, she knows no-one and we don't really get on that well (putting it mildly). I really wish she'd reconsider. But I feel very guilty, after all she is my mother and she does love the grandkids.

My parents and my inlaws live in the same village about 10 minutes drive from us. We see the inlaws once weekly and my parents 2-3 times, I speak to my mum on the phone at least twice a day too.

MIL lives 5 minute walk away, at dawdling pace, luckily we only see her once a month or so, though DP will take the DC to visit more than that.

DP's grandparents, live 10 minute drive away, we usually see them once a week. His Nan is very blunt, tells you exactly what she thinks with no sugar coating and absolutely adores her great grandchildren.

My mum lives 20 minute walk away and I see her nearly everyday (as her job requires her to visit over the road from me!) and she also has the DC for tea after school once a week and to sleep over once a week too. We speak at least twice a day too. My mum is amazing though, very interesting conversations about life, politics, feminism, music, fashion, books and she also thinks my DC are fab. She always supports and reinforces parenting choices that DP and I make. I feel very lucky to have her and love that my DC have a good relationship with her.

My mum lives round the corner so I see her on average twice weekly - she pops in after work or we go round at the weekend. PILs are a 15 min drive away and DP takes DS to see them once a week. I see them less often, not for any bad reason, just so I get a break in the house by myself! PILs rarely come to us.

Varies pil once a fortnight My p's vary a lot
Sometimes 3 times in one week or not for a fortnight
But mum looks after kids sometimes when I'm working and I don't work fixed hrs so it's not all social visiting

Inlaws 40 min away. I see them approx every couple of weeks but husband works near them so pops in once a week for dinner with them.

I see them every couple of months, not weeks.

If you don't get on then maybe she wouldn't want to see more of you as that is usually a mutual thing.
I think what is "usual" is irrelevent. You don't want to start seeing her weekly because that's what other people who like their parents do and end up hating your weekends or whatever.
She can choose to move where she wishes, you don't have to see her more because of it, although if she starts making noises expecting this you should put her right sooner rather than later. If she seems miffed you could always say "but mum we don't really get on and we'll just annoy each other if we see more of each other".
I'd have probably made it clear to her that I thought she should stay where she is as she has friends etc and that you may not see more of her so she may end up being lonely if she moves. Alot of older people I know who move to be near younger relatives, with or without the enthusiasm of those relatives end up regretting the move as they don't realise young families have busy lives and didn't value the friendships and contacts they were leaving.
When my parents retired thay thought about moving near 1 of us (we're scattered) but didn't in the end as they had lots of friends and liked the area. Now my dad is widowed he still wouldn't move as he probably has a busier social life than when my mum was alive.
If he lived near me he'd be constantly coming round looking for jobs to do and much as I love him I think we'd both find it too much unless he also had another reason for moving here.

My mum is 2 mins walk away and can see her most days, sometimes its just a quick 5 minute gossip though and away again.

My PIL live about a 10 minute drive away. I have been trying to get DH to move a bit further away for years (don't judge ) but have finally found our perfect house and it is only 2 minutes away from them. I just know I am going to regret this. It will go from a couple of time of week to everyday I am sure. My lovely mum is thousand of miles away.

My parents live an hour away and we see each other about once every 4 weeks. If they were within half an hours drive we would probably see each other about once a fortnight and we would be ok with that, any more often and it would get a bit intrusive.

mine lives 20 walk 2 mins in car, nan lives the same in the opposite direction, all family is close by brother an hour drive, I see nan once a week usually, (must see the other one more thou who lives about 10 min drive) See mum & dad, once a week for tea, every other sunday (will be every sunday again now DP is away) for lunch, and sometimes we pop in after school if DS wants a cookie with his poppy. Mum sits once a week while I gym it & likewise they're on hand if I need DS looking after for holidays etc.

I know it seems a lot, however we've only been back here 3 years after living all over the place with XH so we're all enjoying the closeness atm. - should also say when DP is home we usually only go up tuesdays for tea, once the baby's born however I suspect we'll go down to once a week for a proper visit.

PIL live 5 hours away don't really see FIL often, but MIL visits 3 times a year roughly if not more for a week or so.

pil live seperatly but both within 2 minutes from here, alway knocking on door un announced at bad times of the day like on a weekend at 7am!!!! or 10pm as our security light is on!!?? or at tea time for ds or as i have just walked through door after a long day at work!!! (we are moving next year before i lose my sanity!!)my family 20 mins away, speak to mu mum daily and see her twice a week through choice, even if i lived next door to my mum she wouldnt just turn up without texting or calling 1st!!

My mum lives 10 minutes' walk away. I speak to her a couple of times a week and see her every week or 2, which can be because one of us has friends or relatives visiting, or just for a cup of tea and to say hello. DP comes with me sometimes but not always.

DP's parents live 10 mins the other way - he sees them once or twice a week (tends to pop in on his way home from work), I see them once a month or so. He sees/speaks to his nan every week, I go sometimes but not all the time.

We all get on, but don't live in each other's pockets.

Mother lives 20 mins away (12 ish miles) We are graced with her presence about 2-3 times a year .

When we were an hr away, my parents came every week.

ILs every 3weeks-they only wanted w/end visits & my husband thought that that was enough.