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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh has lost his wedding ring - just what do I say?!!

52 replies

beansprout · 31/10/2005 13:51

We only got married 2 months ago. His ring was too big and I have asked and begged him to get it resized otherwise he was going to lose it. I said I would be heartbroken if he did and now he has. He says he hasn't had time but he has, he has just chosen to do other things (watch football, buy cds etc etc).

The rings meant the most to me. We did everything else on the cheap but bought decent rings as hey, we thought they would be permanent!

This is also the man who lost our camera on honeymoon, the one with all the wedding photos on it.

This time I have really had enough. Has anyone else experienced this - what did you do?

OP posts:
piffle · 31/10/2005 13:58

sad for you beansprout but at least you've still got the man you love to remind you every day that you're married to him...
I assume you still do want him ?

NotQuiteCockney · 31/10/2005 13:59

I lost my wedding ring, when we'd only been married a year or two. I left it on a counter at the work gym, and someone nicked it (more fool them, it was made of titanium, which is really cheap, but expensive to get worked).

I felt really bad about it. DH didn't make a fuss. I replaced it. (And then misplaced the replacement for a couple of years, until recently, whoops.)

It's a good thing DH doesn't get touchy about all this.

gothicmama · 31/10/2005 14:00

It may turn up dh lost his and it turned up in a glove at work

Gobbledispook · 31/10/2005 14:00

Yes, my dh lost his on honeymoon in THe Maldives. We rang my Mum from there and got her to go and order one exactly the same with teh same engraving inside too - we still had the receipt with the details on so she went back to the same shop and sorted it.

I was livid at the time and really upset but calmed down after a while.

Anyway, a few months later his original one turned up in the post - someone had found it on the beach!!!

He also lost his second one a while later but that turned up in the drivers footwell of the car!

Doh!

marne · 31/10/2005 14:01

dh lost his just after we go maried (it was too big), he was sliding a box into the loft and the ring went with it, i wasnt very happy, we did find it 6 months later and now he doesnt wear it.

colditz · 31/10/2005 14:02

Have a screaming fit, and point out that you now have nothing to remind you of your wedding day, as he has lost the two most important things - the ring and the photographs. Which is true.

I have not experianced this, but have certainly experienced the selfishness of dp not doing anything for anyone else, which is what this boils down to. Selfishness.

ThomBat · 31/10/2005 14:03

You say to him what you would want him to say to you if you lost your ring.
I understand your upset and your frustration but..... these things do happen, all the time, to lots and lots of people, every day. Sure, be upset and angry and peed off etc, and obviously you're all those things, and more, but none of them will bring the ring back and he must feel awful about it and just as gutted as you. So what would you want to hear from him of it was you that lost the ring?

TC x

WigWamBam · 31/10/2005 14:07

Rings are replaceable - OK, so they cost a lot of money but it's only the ring you've lost, not the man wearing it. I don't think that having a screaming fit at him is going to be very helpful to you, really - as TC says, how would you feel if you lost your ring and he screamed at you about it? I'm sure the ring meant a lot to him, and I'm sure he's pretty upset about losing it too. Surely it's the permanency of the relationship that's really important, not the permanency of the ring?

piglit · 31/10/2005 14:10

Hi Beansprout - sorry to hear about this. I'll bet dh is gutted about losing the ring. I'd "suggest" that he goes out and gets a new one pdq - same style (and price) otherwise his bare finger will mean you'll never be able to put it out of your mind. If he's not gutted about losing it then I'd blow my top. Big time.

princesspeahead · 31/10/2005 14:15

oh god it is just a ring, its not as though you've lost your husband. get him another one, the right size this time. and claim it on your household insurance.

jalopy · 31/10/2005 14:16

I agree with wigwambam. My husband accidently lost his wedding ring whilst swimming with one of our children. He was unaware that his ring had become loose in the cold water. It got lost dwon the filter and was never found. It was upsetting initially but it was only a ring. Worse things happen in life and a ring is easily replaced.

colditz · 31/10/2005 14:16

If he had been that bothered about the ring, he would have made sure it fitted intead of slumping in front of the tv!

colditz · 31/10/2005 14:17

It didn't fit in the first place, so he hardly went out of his way to make sure he didn't lose it. That is what would wind me up.

Gobbledispook · 31/10/2005 14:17

I agree, it is just a ring but it is upsetting so soon after you got married and you are still all emotionally charged! I went mad but only for that day!

princesspeahead · 31/10/2005 14:19

he is a bloke, of course he isn't going to be running off to a jewellers and getting his ring resized ffs.
she should have got him one that fitted. Or if he didn't want a ring at all, said "fine".

moondog · 31/10/2005 14:20

Crikey colditz!
This is fighting talk.
I don't have a wedding ring (neither does dh) as I just know I'd lose it and then be heartbroken.

The less you have,the less you have to worry about is my motto.

Gobbledispook · 31/10/2005 14:20

No wedding ring? Ooooh, no, I wouldn't be having that

moondog · 31/10/2005 14:22

Oh I think you're a lot more bling bling than me gdg!

I don't wear any jewellery at all (well, one silver bracelet from Saudi)

JanH · 31/10/2005 14:22

Mine and DH's both gradually grew too small (ahem) so I started wearing his and then I lost that. Mind you we had been married years and years by then. Neither of us has one now.

Anyway I agree, it's only a ring, symbolic maybe but not serious.

Original poster
beansprout · 31/10/2005 14:26

Thanks everyone for your posts. Have a bit of perspective on this now. Thanks TC too, that's always good advice. I think I will just explain that I am upset but simply suggest we get a replacement when we can affort it.

PPH - sorry, but "she should have got him one that fitted" - what does that mean? Is that me? I thought it would be best if dh went to the jewellers to have his finger measured rather than me chop it off and take it down myself?!!!

OP posts:
jac34 · 31/10/2005 14:27

DH takes his off when he makes meatballs. The other day he forgot to put it back on and went off to work without it. He said he felt quite naked all day!!
His ring wasn't an expensive one but I think I'd be quite upset if he lost it, and so would he.

ThomBat · 31/10/2005 14:29

Meanwhile make him wear one that came out of a Xmas cracker
Something very large and very plastic

You'll get another ring soon enough hon', xx

piglit · 31/10/2005 14:32

How about buying dh a classy sovereign from Argos until he gets a new ring - that'll give him the incentive to save up like mad.....

Original poster
beansprout · 31/10/2005 14:35

oooh, I like the nasty ring ideas!!! We still have some crackers left over from last year...!

OP posts:
Gobbledispook · 31/10/2005 14:35

MD - I'm not bling bling at all!! I only have very simple, plain, narrow gold band for my wedding ring and a small solitaire engagement ring! Apart from that I just wear my matching diamond earrings all the time - never take them out!

The odd silver bangle and that's it!