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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Mums...why is it that...........

28 replies

charliebat · 28/10/2005 21:03

she thinks that I shouldnt let dd walk just out of sight to a postbox at age 7

but I was allowed to roam the streets/the canal/the local building site/ the town on my own?

OP posts:
compo · 28/10/2005 21:03

because things are different nowadays, dear!!

Original poster
charliebat · 28/10/2005 21:12

Dont even go there
She also thinks it ridiculus that I send the dds to swimming lessons...apparently the instructors dont keep a good enough eye on the kids

However I was given my bus fare and got to the swimming there and back on my own..and I couldnt swim but she didnt know that as she didnt bother to come.

OP posts:
startingtobehalloweenylover · 28/10/2005 21:14

yes but it was safer in those days wasn't it

compo · 28/10/2005 21:15

personally I don't think so. It's just that there is a lot more media coverage of when things go wrong

Tortington · 28/10/2005 21:15

gosh i dont know - am wondering why is it that she screamed at me that my lad was hanging round the shops ( he wasn't she a dippy old shit) yet i was allowed to jump roof to roof on bulilding sites?

Original poster
charliebat · 28/10/2005 21:21

thats the thing custy, it makes you feel like screaming at her does it...or is that just me???!!!!!
I dont think it was safer years ago, I think things were swept under the carpet more and it wasnt the local weirdo, it was your uncle or your dad..

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 28/10/2005 21:29

Um. It still is your uncle or your dad. Most sexual abuse of kids, by far, is by people you know, just as most rape, by far, is by people you know.

NotQuiteCockney · 28/10/2005 21:31

And yeah, it wasn't any safer years ago.

The only argument I can imagine for the streets being more dangerous now is: most responsible parents don't let their kids roam the streets without adults (because we hear so much about stranger danger). The kids your kids will meet on the streets, who aren't with adults, will mostly be the children of parents who presumably aren't responsible? I'm not convinced of this argment, though.

Original poster
charliebat · 28/10/2005 21:33

NQC, I realise that, but the newspapers tend to focus on the strnger danger type dont they?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 28/10/2005 21:33

I am so glad my mum isn't in this country for this argument. We had a pedophilic uncle living with us for months. My sister ran screaming when he laid a hand on her, and mum didn't believe her! (She does now.)

My folks also hired a wide range of really really bad nannies/au pairs/something. I remember a very drunk one.

Damn, now I'm going to remember all this, the next time we're back home, and my parents are lecturing me on stranger danger, or about the fact DS1 doesn't always hold my hand when we cross roads.

Original poster
charliebat · 28/10/2005 21:35

why is it though they can see these things now but they couldnt with us?

OP posts:
edam · 28/10/2005 21:35

Well, car use has gone up hugely in the past 30 years. That's an important factor in reducing people's willingness to let their kids play outside. We didn't have to make dates to play when I was a lass!

GeorgieVickyLou · 28/10/2005 21:35

what safer.. out on the streets or sat at a PC?

NotQuiteCockney · 28/10/2005 21:36

charliebat, they do. I wonder why. Maybe it's a simpler story, because with stranger danger, nobody could say the parents are in any way to blame? Do family/friends cases go to court less often?

And they often can't reveal the name etc of the uncle, as that would reveal the name of the victim?

DH thinks it's a better fear story, the stranger thing.

NotQuiteCockney · 28/10/2005 21:37

edam, the cars are a real danger to kids on the street, that has gone up, I think? Dunno.

I always point out to people, 99.99% of strangers wouldn't harm a hair on my kids' heads. 100% of cars would kill them.

Kaz33 · 28/10/2005 21:43

Gosh I was at a very nice small coffee shop with lots of people and obviously staff in it, my 4 year old was playing with his toys and I took DS2 to the toilet and left DS1 on his own. i told him where I was going. He was fine.

Probably shouldn't have done it, should I?

NotQuiteCockney · 29/10/2005 07:30

Kaz33, I probably would do that, if I knew the coffee shop, and assuming your four-year-old is sensible. (as in, not likely to decide to leave the coffee shop and wander into the street)

Realistically, what is the risk in that circumstance?

DaddyGhoul · 29/10/2005 07:33

it's weird these days isn't it. DW and I were talking about this the other day.

I remember wandering around town and walking to school (a good 1/4 mile) when i was 5! ... but my parents were a little slack though

stitch · 29/10/2005 09:21

because they are older and wiser now.?

NotQuiteCockney · 29/10/2005 09:23

Are they wiser? Or just more paranoid and fearful?

stitch · 29/10/2005 09:30

probly a bit of both.
also, since the kids are not their own ultimate responsibilty they can be more strict.

WitchyWhizzz · 29/10/2005 09:53

building sites !
So many children still get killed playing on building sites - very sad

NotQuiteCockney · 29/10/2005 10:01

I'm always being lectured by construction blokes not to let DS1 play on construction sites. They were telling me this when he was 2. Which is like, er, duh!

Original poster
charliebat · 29/10/2005 14:12

Eh nqc?

OP posts:
Kaz33 · 29/10/2005 14:26

I was walking half a mile to school when I was 6 on my own.