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Original poster

Women: revenge sex

46 replies

single2mingle · 13/03/2011 19:00

Hi,

Just split up with my fella when an ex's DP asked me how I was doing. I then proceeded to tell her that to be quite honest I wasn't very happy at that moment. I told her what had happened with my DP, for her to rub it in my face about how happy she is with the Ex and its a shame I couldn't have kept hold of him. (there is a massive history between me and the ex and she basically got with him while i was still with him)

within half an hour of speaking to this woman I had arranged for my ex to pay me a visit.

I know this is very wrong and I know I shouldn't be doing it but don't preach to me about how good your relationship is attempt to make me jealous, when all it took was 2 seconds for me to get him to agree to come round.

what I want to know is if anyone out there has done the same?

OP posts:
280169 · 13/03/2011 19:06

yes a long long time ago but slightly different circumstances

my ex p was sleeping around so on a drunken impulse i slept with his best mate then rang him to tell.it had the desired effect but I felt like crap afterwards,

We split upvery soon after and I realized I had stooped to his levels to try and keep him.

I was only a teenager but thought i knew it all.

I would think carefully about how you wll feel afterwards and try to rise above this womans gloating.x

AttillaTheMum · 13/03/2011 19:07

I haven't done tthe same. I have to be honest I do not blame you for what you are doing as she is clearly a bitch but I wouldn't let him get away with it, prehaps accidently phone her?

Malificence · 13/03/2011 19:07

Nice. Hmm

I think you need to find you self esteem, it's probably where you dropped your knickers.

Pagwatch · 13/03/2011 19:08

Don't be childish.

If you don't like this woman, keep away from her.

wotnext · 13/03/2011 19:08

We could but we dont because they are an ex (usually with good reason), sometimes proving the point just causes more problems & heartache. Let it go x

AttillaTheMum · 13/03/2011 19:10

She is clearly hurt. I don't think you need to say things to put her down even further, If you feel she has no self esteem then you are hardly helping!

OliPolly · 13/03/2011 19:10

Well, I hope you feel good about it.

frazzle26 · 13/03/2011 19:16

Sorry OP but I think you've done totally the wrong thing here. I know you're really upset and everything but you'd be better off just trying to move on. Don't be mad at me for saying this, I'm not preaching at you from some loved up ivory tower (I wish!!). It's just I've been in the same situation as you. In my head, it seemed like it would have been really satisfying to sleep with my ex just to "get back" at the OW. However, in reality all that would have happened would have been that he would have got a shag, I would have been left feeling like crap and they would probably have ended up laughing at me behind my back (him at least).

My advice to you is to is to not let him come round and to retain your dignity. Good luck xx

Original poster
single2mingle · 13/03/2011 19:18

It is childish. I know it is. but in the heat of the moment I wanted to hit her where it hurts. i must admit the next day I text the ex to say that I cant go through with it. I have never done anything like that before. and Malificence unfortunately we are not all saints and we do stupid things so unless you are the virgin mary please keep your sarcastic comments to yourself.

I simply want to know I am not the only woman in the world that would react the same way

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 13/03/2011 19:23

I think to have the fleeting thought " I could make you feel like shit" is one that many people have.

I think actually contemplating sleeping with someone just to hurt someone else is (hopefully) not something many people would actually do.

I am glad you backed out of it.

Keep away from people who make you feel shitty and concentrate on the people and relationships that support you.

280169 · 13/03/2011 19:25

no of course your not, it will have happened many times before and will many times again.

Of course you want to rub her nose in it but choose your battles wisely.You wont feel good about yourself if you do this.

Next time you see her let her know how happy you are for them and how its great that hes the right man for her but your sights are set on a higher class of man but its good she has found her level ;)

wotnext · 13/03/2011 19:33

You need to build up self confidence, by your actions this maybe worked for that moment in time.

You know you could have him, you proved that.
Realistically, knowing you could have him & not going back there would serve you better.

Getting on with your life & meeting new people & finding some one better will do much more for you'r self confidence & walking away from 'them' will be better for you in the long run.

Walking away & making you'r own life better is the the dish we call, revenge served cold.

LittleMissHissyFit · 13/03/2011 20:15

Jesus how utterly sad.

TDada · 13/03/2011 20:47

s2m didn't carry through and sleep with ex so I think she can be forgiven. Perhaps this is confirmation for her that her ex still plays away and unless she dosen't mind that then she is better off without him.

LadyFannyofBumStreet · 14/03/2011 00:11

No, I haven't done so because the only person who wins/benefits is the man getting to sleep with two women. Talk about a hollow victory.

I won't judge you, and make harsh comments because we all make mistakes, so please learn from this one, and let him go.

Deliainthemaking · 14/03/2011 00:19

What aggravates me is if this was a man making this topic, he'd probably be slaughtered.
'you philandering pig you!!!'

the fact your a woman doesnt make it any better, but you probably know this, so i'll leave it there.

Sorelip · 14/03/2011 13:38

OP...you're evil, EVIL I TELL YOU!

TeeBee · 14/03/2011 14:01

Sorelip - EVIL? Really?

S2M: you seem angry, humiliated and tempted to hit back where it hurts to me. However, I'd be tempted to do something that won't damage you're own self esteem even more.

Anniegetyourgun · 14/03/2011 14:02

You've proved to yourself why the ex is right to be ex. I agree with those who say you'd have felt bad (and should have felt bad) if you'd gone through with it. You know that the only reason you didn't sleep with her precious boyfriend is that you have more decency (though I understand the temptation). The woman was horrible to be so unsympathetic and will probably get hers at some point in the future, but thank goodness neither she nor he are your problem. Now you are free to move on you will hopefully find, and deserve, somebody nicer than either of your exes. Hopefully a real human being for a change, one you aren't expected to "keep hold of" like a balloon on a string.

Portofino · 14/03/2011 14:04

Sorry - have I clicked onto Jeremy.Kyle.com by mistake? Hmm

OliPolly · 14/03/2011 14:12

How did you know that he was going to sleep with you? Did you specifically ask him to come round for sex?

AllFallDown · 14/03/2011 15:42

Sorry, but you sound mad. You contacted an ex with a view to having sex with him because his current partner had irritated you?

Original poster
single2mingle · 14/03/2011 16:04

Yes i am completely and utterly bonkers. I am a complete nymphomaniac so ladies you better lock up your men.

Portofino- No this is not Jeremy Kyle and unlike his guests i have intelligence and a full mouth of white non decaying teeth.

OliPolly- actually he contacted me and when he steered the conversation in "that" direction i obliged.

for the people on here that have understood my actions... you live in the real world where unfortunate as it is, emotions can't be controlled and people do rash things outside of their normal behaviour.The rest of you are either leading very sheltered lives or are so controlled by your "morality" that your verging on the early stages of rigamortis.

I haven't killed anyone and I didn't go through with the act in the end. you need to lighten up. I brought the subject up not because i am ashamed of it. But because i know that there are plenty of people out there that have probably actually gone through with it. and you Zealots condemn them for having natural human emotions.

OP posts:
joanne34 · 14/03/2011 16:09

Portofino - Agree..............

Original poster
single2mingle · 14/03/2011 16:09

Yes i am completely and utterly bonkers. I am a complete nymphomaniac so ladies you better lock up your men.

Portofino- No this is not Jeremy Kyle and unlike his guests i have intelligence and a full mouth of white non decaying teeth.

OliPolly- actually he contacted me and when he steered the conversation in "that" direction i obliged.

for the people on here that have understood my actions... you live in the real world where unfortunate as it is, emotions can't be controlled and people do rash things outside of their normal behaviour.The rest of you are either leading very sheltered lives or are so controlled by your "morality" that your verging on the early stages of rigamortis.

I haven't killed anyone and I didn't go through with the act in the end. you need to lighten up. I brought the subject up not because i am ashamed of it. But because i know that there are plenty of people out there that have probably gone through with it and you Zealots condemn them for having natural human emotions. Obviously your conscience isn't comparable to anything less than godly.

OP posts:
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