Women: revenge sex

[single2mingle]

Hi,

Just split up with my fella when an ex's DP asked me how I was doing. I then proceeded to tell her that to be quite honest I wasn't very happy at that moment. I told her what had happened with my DP, for her to rub it in my face about how happy she is with the Ex and its a shame I couldn't have kept hold of him. (there is a massive history between me and the ex and she basically got with him while i was still with him)

within half an hour of speaking to this woman I had arranged for my ex to pay me a visit.

I know this is very wrong and I know I shouldn't be doing it but don't preach to me about how good your relationship is attempt to make me jealous, when all it took was 2 seconds for me to get him to agree to come round.

what I want to know is if anyone out there has done the same?

single2mingle, I understand that life is complex and people make selfish (and often completely self destructive) decisions. I don't think people need to lighten up though - this is a discussion forum, whats the point of posting if you only want to hear from people who think it's not a big deal?

One thing I really disagree with what you say (and I say this without judging you actually as I've made plenty of shit decisions in my life) is that 'emotion's can't be controlled'. Yes, they can. that's what makes some people have happy lives where generally they make wise decisions that don't hurt others - and other people , who claim they can't control themselves, using it as an excuse to hurtle around causing huge pain to other people.

You can hardly argue that to say that sleeping with someone else's boyfriend is not a nice thing to do is to be "so controlled by your "morality" that your verging on the early stages of rigamortis. "

That is just ridiculous. I have a brilliant life thanks but I wouldn't hve sex with someone else partner to get revenge on them.

See? Pure evil at work here.

You wouldnt be the only woman in the world to do it, and men would do the same thing too, but I am glad you saw sense and didnt go through with it in the end.

Plotting and wishing revenge is one thing, and can be quite a therapeutic past time, but it takes a much more hard person to actually carry it out as well. From the sounds of it, you are not that vindictive a person, but it does also show you are better off without the loser of an ex that she is now with.

You should have just told her that you have been very unlucky in picking a couple of lousy blokes, but its good to know that someone else took pity on one of them, and would she like the more recent ones number too in case she wants more of your cast offs. .

oh please. anyone that says that they can control their emotions are lying to themselves.

can you control who you fall in love with? no.

can you control when you get angry? no

can you control when you are sad? no

If humans had the ability to do this then we would be walking round like some sort of ethereal being.

No matter how much you try to con yourself into believing you control your emotions, you can't. emotions have knee jerk reactions and mine was to hit her where it would hurt the most. fortunately after my anger abated somewhat i was able to see through the red mist and realise that i was making a mistake. but i had no initial control of that anger and if he was around for the couple of hours after the incident it would have happened.

and sorelip.... i am the devil reincarnate come to lead you away from the flock and to deliver you unto the fiery pits of hell. but if you piss me off on the way i might try to rattle the bones out of your fella.

squeakytoy- i like your style! i may even do that!

You don't have complete control over feelings, but you can control how you act. And actually I do think you can control how you feel - over time. ie. if you work hard at not getting angry, you become less angry. And you can control who you fall in love with ie. if they are a complete arse, then get some therapy and ask why you are in love with such a total arse.

I agree with squeaky toy - she got the booby prize there if he is the kind of man who will do that. you get the last laugh by not having to put up with him anymore.

Well, I think we women are oour worst enemies!

I am not sheltered and I have made shit decisions before but would never shag someone just to piss someone off. Would you have picked up the phone to tell her then?

I wouldn't wish the pain of being cheated on to my worst enemy.

Good that you didn't do it in the end. Self respect and all that...

Be gone, foul demon! Painted Jezebel!

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

Actually we can master our emotions.
Suggesting that the ability to do so indicates being devoid of feeling is pretty silly.

I suspect what you are trying to say is that we all feel deep emotion which of coursecwe do.
But then you seem to suggest that those deep emotions make us reasonable if we act spitefully ir childishly or impulsively. Which isn't true

The list of things one cannot control that you produce is a little immature. Of course we fall in love. But we have good sense and that overlays our impulses with the ability to distance the fluttery romantic from what is in our bests interests. To say the opposite would be to suggest that you would still be hopelessly in love even after finding out something catastrophic about your partner, which is patently foolish.

You can be sneery at the posters who were shocked by your impulse. You can call them names or accuse them of being emotionally dead.
Or you could learn from this and figure out how better to control and master your anger and view of romance.

Whatever you do, I wish you luck

Meh, I left the flock ages ago. The Devil ain't got shit on me.

And I don't think you could rattle his bones anymore than I already have. After this weekend, I think I might have broken him

listen i know what he and she has done to me in the past and if i had gone through with it that would be an easy penance in my book. and yeah i would have told her afterwards cos to be honest i was ready to destroy her.

after all according to both Sorelip and OliPolly I am so unrepenting and EVIL I must be deamon spawn. humans don't have the ability to carry out such heinous acts of degradation and deceitfulness. The only logical conclusion is DEAMON!

Don't be putting words in my mouth!

You have every right to want to shag another womans partner to make you feel better because 'they did the same to you'!

I just think it's sad.

People do things like this all the time all over the world so i think you know the answer to your question already.

My opinion on your current situation is the same.

People do act out of character when hurt & that makes us do silly things, weather that is saying something out of turn or doing/acting on something we wouldn't normally.

You have adressed this & now know that its not what you want.

The best thing now is to move on & if that means talking/discussing it & working your way through it then that is what to do.

The age old, learn from our mistakes routine.

I think your confidence has taken a bashing & human nature....... well we tend to panick sometimes, i think maybe you were trying to restore that.

Life is complicated & we all have to do what we do to get on & work through it.

As you have learned 'going back over old ground' FAILS in the long term.

I doubt you will go there again.

Im sure you will be fine, some people thrive on gloating & sucking you in, Avoid these people like the plague!

OliPolly, I think she was joking there.

what a mad thread

is she?

Am not bothered anymore.

It is a bit

I am quietly trying to add measured comments but I am not sure that is what the thread calls for.

Why do you mix the woman at all? Let alone have heart to hearts with her about your emotional state?

~It's a mad world :o

illogical worrrrrld...