This may be a long one, I have name changed(not because any of you will necessarily know my normal 'name' but because it's a 'name' I use all over the internet and I don't really want my personal life made public)
Right...My neice,out of the blue, asked if she could come and live with me about 8 months ago. My initial response was'hell no!' My sister, her mum, is 10 years older than me and moved to Ireland when I was about 11, so contact with her and her family has been sporadic. I would say I had met my neice about 7 or 8 times until the point that she asked if she could come and live with me.
Whilst I was considering her request she sent me an email saying that she was moving to England, but would be moving to stay with friends on the south coast (I live in the midlands). I have to admit to feeling relieved.
Fast forward a couple of months and I get a phone call from her, begging me to let her stay. She is intelligant and articulate and claimed that she really wanted to move to me as there was better job prospects. I thought about it, and eventually agreed.
I redecorated my spare bedroom for her, bought her a bed and a wardrobe, new bedding, and did everything i could to make her feel at home (I am a single parent).
As soon as she moved in I suspected she had other motives. It became clear very quickly that the real reason she had wanted to move here was because she had met someone on the internet. I wasn't hugely happy with this, but supported her and took time off work to take her to the job centre, to a local training centre etc. I asked friends if they knew of any jobs for her, checked the local press etc. She has never made ANY attempts to find work.
She is the laziest person I have ever met. I have to nag her weekly to have a bath (I gave up once and after 4 weeks she smelt so bad that I insisted). When she first moved in I showed her where the washing basket was and said that if she put her dirty washing in there I'd do it. I have not washed ANY of her clothes (including underwear) for over 6 weeks now.
Right, to the crux of it. Just after Xmas i confronted her over her lack of hygiene and the fact that she seems to have very little respect for me or my home. It was at this point that she admitted she was pregnant. I have to confess that I did read her the riot act a bit. I was so cross that she had been so stupid (and she was stupid, she was regularly having sex and using no contraceptive). We discussed her options and she said that she could not consider termination and that she would be keeping the baby.
I have told her in no uncertain terms that I can not have a newborn baby in the house but that I would support her in finding somewhere to live and with sorting out furniture for her and the baby. She said that she felt this would help her 'sort herself out'(?)
Fast forward again to now. She still doesnt bathe, she does nothing around the house, she has just come into a bit of money (about £200) and has spent all of it on getting stoned, going clubbing with her mates and paying for a flight home - not to see her family but to go out for a weekender with some friends).
I am so worried about this baby. She has referred to it as 'the fucking brat' she has no maternal instincts towards it. She has not concept of basic personal hygiene or the harm that she is doing to it by taking drugs and drinking.
I suppose what i'm asking is, what can I do? I am brutally honest with her. I have talked to her repeatedly about all of the issues. I have told her that if she continually stinks like she does (she also claims she doesn't use deodorant because of all the chemicals - she doesnt see the irony of that statement and blowing all her dole on weed) then eventually, with her increased contact with health professionals someone will say something. Will they though? Will anyone notice? Don't know what I want people to say really, just wanted to get it all down.