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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is she worth the watching...?

66 replies

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 13:50

a female that my husband works with sent him a text and ended it with "oops you nearly got a kiss at the end of that!"
haven't let on I have seen it.
what do you think?

OP posts:

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher · 08/03/2011 16:27

You could always reply to it saying - ' oops wife here and you nearly got a smack in the gob but will let you off - JUST THIS ONCE '

Original poster

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 16:28

corlan,sorry no that's not what I think,however I think it is a very flirty thing to put.plus as katisha says re business practice and emails,I don't think it is very professional to put a x in any business corespondence(maybe I am just a sad old fart too!)

OP posts:

B000 · 08/03/2011 16:29

I would just send txt back saying just as well mrs or i would be asking Q's love the wife x ;) lol

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 08/03/2011 16:30

It might be flirting and testing the water. On the balance of probability, I'd say it was.

So if you came across the text as accidentally as you say, it should be perfectly acceptable for you to express some concern about this to your H and extend the conversation to asking him how he might react if a woman did come on to him.

I'm assuming therefore that you haven't discussed fidelity much in your marriage and how you both will react to perfectly understandable temptations?

If you can be sure your H won't respond, then you've got nothing to worry about another woman's overtures, but I'm guessing that you don't entirely trust what your H would do in this situation, so talk to him.

Original poster

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 16:31

suda -very tempting!!but sadly not the way forward

OP posts:

OliPolly · 08/03/2011 16:31

OH NO, don't text back! Its not your phone and you are going to look like a fool if it does turn out to be nothing!

OP - if it bothers you that much, speak to your DH about it and check his reaction.

Original poster

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 16:35

no I won't be texting back.we have discussed fidelity in detail before and have had a few friends relationships end through one of them having affairs.and yes I do trust him and him me

OP posts:

SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher · 08/03/2011 16:36

BOOO - I feel like a sledgehammer now in comparison to your much gentler version of mine.

TobyLerone · 08/03/2011 16:58

Katisha, I would assume the same. Colleagues and I often talk about it, because we all seem to put a kiss on the end of most texts, but there have been times with all of us where we have almost put a kiss on the end of a text to our boss/horrible exes etc. So I'd assume they'd joked about it before, and then she'd said that because it was funny.

Then again, I don't tend to automatically assume that every little fb message or text my boyfriend gets is from some husbandless harlot trying to steal him from me. I also don't check his phone (which is, I assume, how the OP saw the message in the first place).

SmashingNarcissistsMirrors · 08/03/2011 17:03

i put kisses on emails and text to male and female colleagues. but then i'm a media luvvie.

Katisha · 08/03/2011 18:15

Well stop it!

IngridBergmann · 08/03/2011 18:23

I think she fancies him a bit but it will pass. She wouldn't have written that if he had reciprocated the crush already.

My guess is he will ignore it and avoid her a little bit. And she'll be embarrassed, and it'll pass in time, for her.

Good luck.

TechnoKitten · 08/03/2011 18:28

I once used that phrase almost word for word when sending a text (early 20s and single). I used it deliberately because the recipient was someone I had a major crush on and I wanted to see what the response would be, with the intention of following up with something more obvious next time I saw him in real life if I got a flirty reply back.

So no, I don't think it's innocent on her part at all. And yes, I would talk it through with your husband as to how he handles less subtle come-ons.

coffeeinbed · 08/03/2011 18:33

Yes, but this is not about the kiss sign at the end, this is about her playing up the fact there's no kiss.
Completely different things.
I'd talk to him, if I were worried.

lionlilac · 08/03/2011 19:09

Have worked with quite a few flirty 'types', some are dangerous and some harmless. Unfortunately a lot of men are flattered or can't even understand what all the fuss is about! Tell him you have seen the text, then sit down together, have a bottle of wine and watch 'Fatal Attraction'.

Original poster

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 19:57

thank you everyone,it has helped me put things into a bit more perspective.
it has made me realise how precious relationships are as I am not untrusting or jealous but this has made me sit up and take stock.a bit of a lesson for me in not taking my marriage for granted and making me think you still have to work at relationships.
it has made me think about the outcomes of when it goes wrong and how devestated i would be

OP posts:

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