Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is she worth the watching...?

66 replies

ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 13:50

a female that my husband works with sent him a text and ended it with "oops you nearly got a kiss at the end of that!"
haven't let on I have seen it.
what do you think?

OP posts:
SudashesaliveItakeyoutoher · 08/03/2011 15:03

Sounds to me like she's testing the water - seeing what reaction she gets - but I am paranoic also Hmm

OliPolly · 08/03/2011 15:05

Ilove

I am just saying, if everything is fine and you say that your DH didn't seem to notice are you not in danger of looking for something that is not there?

Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 15:05

the job involves business trips that she is often included in(hmm)

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 15:06

olipolly,perhaps i am

OP posts:
OliPolly · 08/03/2011 15:07

Do you trust your DH?

Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 15:11

yes I do(although i did have a long term relationship years ago and never suspected there was another woman until she rang me up!)
we have had a couple of ups and downs in the last year(15 years of marraige)but on the whole things are fine
But yes i do trust him(but not so sure about her)

OP posts:
thereturnofElsieTanner · 08/03/2011 15:13

So, you are in fact already watching. It may or may not be innocent on her part. Personally, I think it sounds very flirty and as if she is testing the water. But your H's response is the crucial bit. Did he reply?

OliPolly · 08/03/2011 15:17

Well, I think that sometimes we (both men and women) can get paranoid about stuff like this and in our attempt to 'find out/watch' we end up picking on everything which will inevitably ruin a perfectly normal relationship.

I wouldn't snoop on my DH unless I suspect HIM because frankly, how can you influence HER?

Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 15:17

no don't think he did,plus unless someone spells out the obvious it would probably go over his head
just worried about her next handing it to him on a plate !1as their business trips include overnight stays

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 15:18

I can't influence her,haven't even met her in person

OP posts:
JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 08/03/2011 15:19

I would say she was flirting as well. Did your dh reply to the text?

OliPolly · 08/03/2011 15:20

I would worry more about the behaviour of my DH and not about her.

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 08/03/2011 15:20

sorry, just read previous post that he didn't.

coffeeinbed · 08/03/2011 15:31

Of course she's flirting - an x at the end is a sign off.
The 'Ooop, I..." line invites his reply - something along the line 'Well, why not.." or "oh well, next time" or some such. And so on..
But he did not reply, so would not get drawn in the exchange of texts that she might have envisaged.

TobyLerone · 08/03/2011 15:33

Wow, you do sound paranoid. How did you 'just happen to see' this text?

GlitterHo · 08/03/2011 15:34

I think to worry is uneccessary I put lvya GlitterHo at the end of every text its just a formality,

whas the text itself innocuous enough?

Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 16:03

coffeeinbed-yep I did think it is the sort of thing you would put if trying to flirt,start something...
I don't think it is innocent at all

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 08/03/2011 16:09

Your attitude (" trust him, but I don't trust her", calling her a 'female' etc) smacks to me of you being the kind of woman who thinks that every other woman is out to steal her man, and that he would have very little choice in the matter. It makes me very uncomfortable, tbh.

JessicaDrew · 08/03/2011 16:09

but if she had put the X it may have gone unoticed. if like you say hubby would need it on a plate before he would spot it
by put the comment she was giving him more to read, so maybe she is testing the water!

Aislingorla · 08/03/2011 16:20

I would be wary of her, no need to put that she's flirting.

Original poster
ilovetheshops · 08/03/2011 16:21

so then ideas for what to do if she is "testing the water"

OP posts:
OliPolly · 08/03/2011 16:24

There is nothing for you to do!

corlan · 08/03/2011 16:24

"she hasn't got a DH or even a Bf at the moment...umhhhh"

That's it Sherlock! I think you've cracked it. All single women are predators just waiting to steal away your man-treasure!

Katisha · 08/03/2011 16:24

On the other hand, being an old fart, I have been mildly annoyed and faintly amused by the younger people in my office who seem to think that putting a kiss at the end of an email is standard business practice.

I was a bit shocked the first time I saw it.

Could be that she does this and he has pointed it out to her.

Aislingorla · 08/03/2011 16:27

Well, what does your husband think? Is she a friend or just a colleague. It is down to him ,really. If she has 'her eye' on him he needs not to give mixed signals. He might be, unintentionally. (speaking from experience here, sadly)