Help please

[RueDay]

Hello,

First post on here but have been lurking for some time.

I have just finished with someone who I loved but wasn't making me happy. I am half glad but half wishing a period of time might help us both and we reconcile, unsure.

Friends said he was a Narc, I don't think he was, maybe had a few elements.

For all the time we were together I was constantly on edge, not sure why, he would never make plans in advance but would text usually early evening and say lets go out and be irritated with me if I had already made plans and then ignore my suggestions of other days when we could meet. Sometimes when
I can?t meet him t short notice he used to say Fine lets just leave it shall we or I think we should be friends nothing more. But then he would calm down in a while.

He lied about something quite big over xmas and when I got angry he ignored me for a week.

Not sure now if I over reacted when I finished things, last week I had people staying from US and couldn't see him so kept last Sunday and Monday free (and told him) as they had then gone.

He was supposed to be away till Sunday himself, so I made plans on saturday. He texted Saturday afternoon and said actually I am back lets meet, I apologised and said I couldn't as thought he was away and already had plans, but suggested Sun or Mon or later in the week.

He replied and said Not sure I might be away.

I texted sunday at 6pm, he replied it would hhave been good to see you but a bit late now. Monday came and went, he went to pub no effort to see me.

At which point I gave up. I said I think we are better as friends for now, both busy etc and I find it frustrating that you refuse to make plans in advance etc.

At first he was fine, now he is being bitchy accusing me of having met someone else etc.

Sorry for stupid ramble.

Am I being a nutter? (Thats what he says)

Thanks everyone, he has been saying he is happy to be friends then starts pestering to meet up and being very sexual,have said no, but this has been going on for weeks.

Last night had enough and told him he was a head fcuk to everyone he met but probably more fcuked in the head himself, that he needed therapy and that I had blocked his mobile and email, that I didn't want to stay friends and I never wanted to hear from him again,also told himhe was a narc.

I said I wanted to burn bridges and that he had treated me appallingly badly and should fo.

Scared now but happy he is blocked.

Well done, you're doing the right thing Rue, you're nearly there! Just one thing - though it's not easy to do it when you're running to save your life - but don't be horrible to him. NOt nice/not nasty, just straight - but not rude. Like a plank, no emotion, make statements. These men are dangerous - don't want to frighten you - and being rejected, especially brutally, is a danger point.

Also, FREEDOM PROGRAMME! One near you - google it and find your nearest group. It is fantastic for clearing your head, getting you to see all the things narcs get up to to completely derail you and turn you into a basket case in .5 seconds (been there, t-shirt ). You'll meet a lot of women who have been or are in the same position as you are at the moment. A lot of tremendous support, which you need now.