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Original poster

Anal sex advise needed

44 replies

Ray81 · 28/02/2011 09:23

I considered name changing for this but didnt want anyone to think i am a troll so i decided not to so here goes.

DH would like to have anal sex and i have always been "not on your life mate" about it, he hasn't forced the issue or anything but recently when we make love he sort of plays around in that area and it does turn me on big time (sorry if TMI). So i have been wondering why i have been so against it ifkwim.

So i would like some advise from those that have had and do have anal sex, i know it can be a sensitive issue and i dont want any arguments about the rights or wrongs of it.
Could you tell me why it is you enjoy it? does it hurt? are there any side effects ifkwim? I was abused as a child and i although i have had councelling it has always effected me when it comes to sex just recently i have been feeling less like it has been and therefore had less inabitions ifswim. Hence this thread.

If you dont want to share and dont like this sort of thread please hide it but i know MN is good for getting advise on all sorts of things so thought this the best place to get advise on this. I have know one irl i can speak to about this other then DH of course.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/02/2011 09:31

My opinion on anal sex is - if he will, I will.

Before anything goes up MY arse, a 9 inch dildo goes up his.

If he's up for that, bring on the lube.

GypsyMoth · 28/02/2011 09:34

9 inch Hecate??

HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/02/2011 09:34

oh, you don't want opinions on it, just advice on how to? Sorry. Grin

Carefully.

with lube.

Slowly.

I think you can actually damage yourself if you are rough.

Then there's the hygiene.

You can get a nasty infection if you go from one to the other.

ShowOfHands · 28/02/2011 09:34

Gosh, Monday morning.

Have you searched the archives on here? There have been lots of threads like this and lots of advice given.

The practical advice seems easy, with a history of abuse and fragile emotions, it's perhaps the emotional side of it you want to consider.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/02/2011 09:35

Oh yes.

I think he should get what I would get. iyswim.

Original poster
Ray81 · 28/02/2011 09:44

SOH sorry yes it is monday morning i should have saved this for fri Grin.

I havent searched the archives i will have a look.

Its not realy practical advice i was wondering why people like it? if it is enjoyable etc.

Hecate- may have to see what he says about having one up his Grin not sure he would.

OP posts:
MrsNoggin · 28/02/2011 09:47

I would most definitely recommend using a condom. Nothing to do with STIs, as I presume this is not a factor with your husband, but more of the fact that what goes in must come out, IYSWIM. Sorry if TMI. Even if you agree he's not going to erm... finish in there, he can still make quite a bit of juice. And it most likely will emerge for a good while afterwards...Blush

And as already mentioned, don't swap from anus to vagina as you can get serious infections.

nottirednow · 28/02/2011 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsNoggin · 28/02/2011 09:54

Sorry, phone took so long to post I missed your last bit.

I do it because I like it Grin. Discovered it totally by accident. Although I have to be in a really filthy mood to consider it.

BalloonSlayer · 28/02/2011 10:00

by accident?

MrsNoggin · 28/02/2011 10:07

Lol, nothing dodgy, balloonslayer.

I mean more of a slightly drunken fondle on his part, fairly recently, that resulted in him saying 'oh god, sorry!' and me saying 'don't worry, it wad quite nice actually!'

BalloonSlayer · 28/02/2011 10:10

Oh I see Grin

I was imagining one of those bizarre accidents relayed to A&E staff, you know, just got out of the shower and slipped and fell on a vacuum cleaner hose sort of thing. Grin

MrsNoggin · 28/02/2011 10:17
Grin
Original poster
Ray81 · 28/02/2011 10:20

MrsNoggin- thanks i assumed people did it because they liked it ifswim but wondered if it was uncomfortable in any way.

Nottirednow Thanks for the link, When i say DH plays around down there i mean Fingers and i find that enjoyable, sorry tmi, but am thinking that something alot bigger may be uncomfortable.

Ballonslayer- i was thinking the same. Grin

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 10:23

lots of lube, start small, his baby finger, or yours if it makes you feel more in control. it is likely to be uncomfortable at the start but if you are happy to go on it will change and become a pleasurable feeling. Your DH has to let you dictate the pace and completely accept if you don't want to continue. relax and it will be alot easier. have a drink maybe.

Marcus123456 · 28/02/2011 10:23

Wow and i was going to ask for some advice on my 12 year old son...Hi
I have a 12 year old boy who is a great kid. I am sure all our children are great, but he has got in with some boy at school that is not so great, this boy has been borrowing money from him and also getting him to down load school work for him and printing it out for him so he can take in into school, he is not getting bullied but this kid just knows how to manipulate my son.
What can I do I have tried speaking with my son who tells me its none of my business the other day we had an argument about this he called me a white boy the other child is from Zimbabwe I have met him he is very street wise kid for sure I think the language he is picking up from his new found friend he as also started for no reason pulling his pant down over his hips?
? What?s going on should I go to the school. Or just leave it and hope it turns out ok.
Any ideas thank your I have raised my son by myself from being 1 year old other then this we have a great relationship thank you

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 10:24

sorry, that should be "if you are happy to go on it may change and become a pleasurable feeling" not all people find it changes and becoems good.

BooyFuckingHoo · 28/02/2011 10:25

marcus, I'm not sure this is teh right trhead for advice on your child Grin.

try posting a new thread Smile

TobyLerone · 28/02/2011 10:26

It's certainly a weird feeling. Not uncomfortable as such (depending on how they do it, I would imagine), but odd. It can definitely be enjoyable if done properly though.

Previous advice is invaluable re lube, taking it slowly, condoms and hygiene.

Psychologically, though, it has a very strange effect on me, so I don't do it that often.

MrsNoggin · 28/02/2011 10:29

My poor reputation. I shall soon be famed as a vegetable molester - 'I just fell onto the carrot doctor, honest!'

If fingers are good for you, why not stick with them for a while and gradually work up in size. There is a bit of difference between digits and willies... And if you are worrying, it will most likely make it uncomfortable.

Anyway, I must stop talking about bumsex and get some work done! Wink

bristolcities · 28/02/2011 10:48

OUCH. The only time iv enjoyed it is whilst pissed, ohter wise its to painfull but maybe im doing it wrong.

higgle · 28/02/2011 10:48

Ray 81 - if you enjoy this shy not get a but plug from Passion8 or Lovehoney and experiment with that, more than fingers, can be smaller than willie.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 28/02/2011 11:23

Rass-berrys are good fun. You can get them from Lovehoney

ShowOfHands · 28/02/2011 11:33

I'd never, ever, ever do it. Not my cup of tea. I like, er, a cup of tea. Grin

But a friend once said, it only hurts like fuck the first few times. After that I even stopped tearing and bleeding everywhere.

It reassured me that my conviction never to do it was right.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 28/02/2011 11:37

Not if it's done properly SOH. Lots of lube, take it slowly and most of all reeeeeeeeeeelax. It's actually rather good then Blush

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