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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

where does one go to meet men?

54 replies

kittya · 28/02/2011 00:14

just had a lovely day/night out with my friends. One, who is not single, turned to me and said "dont worry, there is someone out there for everyone" oh, really? where do 40+ blokes with their own teeth (not bothered about hair) hang out then? cos all I saw today was lots of twentysomethings out for the football.

OP posts:
Wysiwig · 28/02/2011 19:56

Maltesers, I have friends who have met,married and are making babies with men from dating sites. I too had a 3 year relationship with one. I have no problem with this method, however, at present my self esteem is low (EXp) and I tend to obsess over the dating site thing. If I don't get any messages I lose the will to live, so I'd rather have a natural meet than one in contrived circumstances. You are also right in that you have to get to know someone, not everyone clicks immediately. Happy dating...

SuchAWorrier · 28/02/2011 19:57

I agree with maltesers - nowt wrong with dating sites. I've met a lovely man (41) on a popular site been who is a true gentleman, with both his own teeth and hair. Go for a decent site that you have to pay for so as to avoid odd-types, pervy-types or married-types.
Good luck.

maltesers · 28/02/2011 19:59

I must admit I found the men on DatingDirect to be hideously ugly .
Most resembled Shrek !!

Wysiwig · 28/02/2011 20:12

I met my last fella (the 3 yearer) on Plenty of Fish, he was a tight git..but then, it's a free site...what to expect Confused. I had been advised not to go on free sites as they attract the players, and in hindsight, although it lasted 3 years, I think he was probably still dabbling behind my back. He was in the Army and didn't live nearby so quite feasible. We split because I found it difficult to deal with him being away/lack of contact etc, that said, he wasn't interested in discussing things with me. I found out within a week of splitting he was back looking for someone else (more free sites).

Sorry to deviate...the dating site stuff brings it all back :(

Original poster
kittya · 01/03/2011 17:33

Online is just too visual for me. I hate having photographs taken!

OP posts:
Taghain · 01/03/2011 17:44

I'd suggest giving mountain biking a go but in woods and trails rather than up actual mountains. There are lots of single men who do it and compared with cycling on the road, lots of chances to stand and talk.
If you stood and looked lost at a junction in the woods at Swinley (bracknell) centre, I guarantee you'd be chatted up within 15 minutes.

Asteria · 01/03/2011 18:10

I think that we should have a "bring your spare men" meet up! Grin

Original poster
kittya · 01/03/2011 18:44

Its true!! its the best way a friend of friend. Its a shame it cant be arranged Sad.

OP posts:
JustForThisOne · 02/03/2011 23:20

Kittya, that's cool, so them two (cousin/friend) are sorted, but what about us? Grin

Original poster
kittya · 02/03/2011 23:37

I know! That's me all over. Fixing people up and not y
thinking of myself. I do it all the time!

OP posts:
SalandersBro · 02/03/2011 23:50

so where do available women go, hmm? Don't want to entertain the use of internet dating sites. though a very beautiful Brazilian friend found 'luuurve' on the Guardian soulmates thing.
and how do you stop yourself thinking, 'lost it, not for me any more' as that is where I am right now.

SalandersBro · 02/03/2011 23:55

probably confidence? right now I feel I am the unsexiest man on the planet. Even when I know this can't be true, as Mick Hucknall is still with us.

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 03/03/2011 08:10

lol @ Mick Hucknall.

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 03/03/2011 08:12

Asteria...like your idea of a bring your spare men meet up Grin.

Original poster
kittya · 03/03/2011 09:00

all my men friends are gay to perhaps I shouldnt bring them? Smile

OP posts:
Asteria · 03/03/2011 13:45

Well gay men do have their perks I suppose - but don't really help with the desperate need for sex more physical side of a relationship! I have just joined a charity to broaden my horizons slightly. The trouble is that I live in wildest Yorkshire and it's either soldiers or sad old farmers in these parts. I need to expand my hunting ground somewhat!!

JeffTracy · 03/03/2011 14:54

Enjoying this thread a lot and will be telling all the single men at the sailing club to smarten themselves up a bit for potential visitors Grin. Very few of them are posh though, sorry to disappoint.

TiggyD · 03/03/2011 15:42

There are plenty of us men on Mumsnet. Put an AD in the Dadsnet bit.

Asteria · 03/03/2011 16:44

An AD? As in "single parent and domestic goddess seeks tweed loving rugger type for experimental cooking and light bondage..."?

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 03/03/2011 17:17

Asteria, you are making me Grin.

Asteria · 03/03/2011 17:38

one tries... Grin

TiggyD · 03/03/2011 17:40

Just pick who you want from Dadsnet. They are all nervous, pale, shaky, wrecks, cowering in the corner in case some of the hard, nut-jobs from the feminist bit find them.

Asteria · 03/03/2011 19:04

Tiggy - could you assemble all the eligible batchelors in dadsnet and invite the single mumsnetters over for a Wine please?!

exoticfruits · 03/03/2011 19:17

Take up running and join a running club-get fit at the same time!

passmyglassplease · 03/03/2011 20:16

I agree if you mountain bike you almost definitely will get chatted up in Bracknell Forest!

Girls who do embrace sports of any kind and aren't afraid to get a bit muddy go down a treat in out local cycling and running clubs.

I wasn't great at mountain biking and am still not great Grin however I have a go at it every other weekend with DP (who is obsessed), I have been chatted up quite a lot whilst out and about, but don't tell DP Wink