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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

"I don't care that you're in pain, can we have sex anyway?"

47 replies

Codsworth · 26/02/2011 08:37

This was the gist of it last night. I'm walking around the house bent over like a 90 year old woman will backpain and stiffness of the lower back. I had to stretch out on the sofa at one point because the pain was getting to me so much.

We got to bed, my back actually CLICKED when I turned over causing me to howl in pain (not actually cry but made obvious I was in a spot of pain!!) and what does he do? start trying to poke his willy into me. I told him no and he carried on nattering and trying it on for about an hour.

He KNEW I was in pain. FFS why are they do selfish??

OP posts:
dignified · 26/02/2011 08:45

Ugh. Thats pretty awful op. Does he normally pester you like that ?

LittleHouseByTheRiver · 26/02/2011 08:49

Ow Codsworth I know your pain! Sorry to hear about your back.

When I was young and foolish (instead of old and foolish as I am now) I had a kidney infection. The doctor came and gave me a morphine injection and called an ambulance to admit me to hospital. While I was lying there writhing in agony my DH "made love" to me with tears in his eyes. Matched only by the tears in mine!

Nowadays the only tears would be due to the heavy object crushing his genitals. How did it take me so long to recognise a crappy relationship?

Is you DH usually kind and thoughtful or does he have a lack of empathy? Is he otherwise useful around the place when you are laid up with your back?

Blackduck · 26/02/2011 08:49

Swift knee to the groin?

Anniegetyourgun · 26/02/2011 09:13

Ah, that brings up a few happy memories. I was in bed with the 'flu once, could barely stand the bedclothes touching my skin let alone a scratchy bloke. He obviously thought this was an ideal opportunity, as I wasn't going anywhere. I only had the strength to mutter "oh no, must you?" rather than give him a good hearty shove off, and just kind of lay there hoping he'd hurry up. It must have been like necrophilia. He brought me a cup of tea afterwards, so I suppose that was all right. He was always bringing me cups of tea. I went off tea for two years after we split.

Poor Codsworth, I hope your back is soon sorted (so you can kick him without it hurting you more than it does him).

Not that I condone violence at all, of course.

Angry
BelleDameSansMerci · 26/02/2011 09:21

Fucking hell... Just fucking hell. Sad

supadupapupascupa · 26/02/2011 09:24

Shock just Shock

AlistairSim · 26/02/2011 09:25

What a cunt.

How are feeling now?

TRIsTheArseEndOfAMouldyBanana · 26/02/2011 09:25

I'm flabbergasted and truly saddened Shock

HenriettaFarthingay · 26/02/2011 09:27

Oh that is well be out of order! As someone said, a swift (accidental of course) knee to the groin when you're better should sort him out.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 26/02/2011 09:30

Smack him in the balls with a good hard slap and then ask him if he'd like hand relief.....

He'll understand the sensation of the pain you are in soon enough.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 26/02/2011 10:34

What people are describing here is rape. OP if your 'D'H has such a lack of respect and care for you, do you think you might be better off out of it?

SmashingNarcissistsMirrors · 26/02/2011 10:58

aren't you worth more than this? this man's actions are not loving.

upahill · 26/02/2011 11:00

My goodness! I'm speachless!

It's far to say I'v had a few boyfriends over they years (but been happy married for 20 years) and no one has ever pulled a stunt like that!!

Bast · 26/02/2011 11:15

'They' aren't so selfish. He is!! This is not normal behaviour.

Kick him out of bed completely until you have recovered and he has learnt some respect.

ijudge · 26/02/2011 11:17

My husband is a dick like this. When we first got together, I was a niave young 19 yr old and we wouldn't stop going on and even said 'can't I just stick it in you?' Hmm Stupid as I was I let and just lay there while he got on with it.

Was awful for both of us and taught him a valuable lesson - If I say no then leave it as it won't be fun for either of us.

Now he barely gets any (newborn and toddler wear me out!) and doesn't say a word.

YouGoGlennCoco · 26/02/2011 11:19

Codsworth always posts about her h poking her with his dick

YouGoGlennCoco · 26/02/2011 11:21

Are you not splitting up any
Ore then ?

YouGoGlennCoco · 26/02/2011 11:21

And he was a dp earlier in the month

RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/02/2011 11:22

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Olessaty · 26/02/2011 11:23

I would be having very serious words with him. This is not on at all.

Whilst you really shouldn't have to, in your place, I would say very clearly that I am in a great amount of pain and I do not want to have sex with him and that is my last word, that I will consider any further effort to have sex with me as unwelcome advances and will ask him to leave the bed, if not the house, because you will not be treated with such little respect.

GeekLove · 26/02/2011 11:34

I thought that you had decided to split up with him over several other relationship-ending-worthy issues?

Ormirian · 26/02/2011 11:35

Twat! Angry

kerrymumbles · 26/02/2011 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mercyforme · 26/02/2011 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 26/02/2011 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.