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Original poster

How fast can you actually fall in love?

39 replies

EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:26

I've spoken to this person about 3 times, properly, but already in the space of maybe three weeks, I feel as though I'm hopelessly in love with him.

Maybe it isn't love? I'm not sure how to tell. Nothing has happened, all we've done is talk and drink tea. Probably for a total of about an hour and ten minutes.

I don't understand it, but he is the most beautiful, perfect, lovely man on the planet, and I don't know what to do with myself.

What's going on?!

OP posts:
Scrumpet · 19/02/2011 18:27

I think it's infatuation, or lust. Love doesn't happen that quickly, in order to love someone you have to know a whole lot more about them than you could possibly find out in the space of and hour and ten minutes. That doesn't mean that love can't follow the initial attraction though.

said · 19/02/2011 18:28

But "in love" isn't the same as "love". I reckon you can fall in love/lust fairly quickly but it doesn't mean you need to angst about "maybe it isn't love" though.

Mouseface · 19/02/2011 18:29

Are you mad? Grin

It sounds like a crush to me. I have them all the time.

I used to have a crush on AnyFucker but she's old hat these days Wink

Seriously, it's an immense liking of someone who you click with, rather than love I'd say.

Have you met this person in the flesh so to speak?

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:29

Thanks, you're probably right. I suppose I'm wondering how you know it'll be Ok...I mean, has anyone else felt like this so quickly, and it's been right - properly right?

I don't think I have fallen in love so quickly before. He's actually the nicest person I've ever met. Or certainly one of them.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 19/02/2011 18:30

Sorry, am confused (nothing new) so you have met him for a cuppa?

said · 19/02/2011 18:30

Is he sending out vibes to you? Are you picking up on these? Is he available?

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:30

Sorry, x posts - yes, yes he lives round the corner. He asked me round, I took the kids, they all played together.

We just talked and talked, a bit nervous, laughing a lot.

I am just blown away. He makes REALLY good tea Grin

OP posts:
Scrumpet · 19/02/2011 18:31

The vast majority of people are 'nice' when you first get to know them. They wouldn't have any friends if they were shitty to people in the first hour and ten minutes now, would they!

I'm not sure what you mean when you ask if it'll 'be OK'? have you already signed a contract saying you'll spend the next five years with him or something? Grin

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:32

I think there are vibes. I am rubbish at this, but I think there are little vibes. Smile

He's available, yes. (so am I, obv!)

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Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:33

I mean, that it'll last - if it happens - I mean, I could be imagining it all and getting myself into a proper lather, all about nothing. But to feel like this and then have it work out would be superb.

I want to know if it's real, or I'm just having a funny turn. I suppose only time will tell.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 19/02/2011 18:34

Take your time, get to know him. Smile

said · 19/02/2011 18:35

Usually when you think there are vibes it's because there are. Just keep having tea dates for now and enjoy

BertieBasset · 19/02/2011 18:35

I met dh on 22nd Jan, he told me he loved me valentines day.

I panicked a bit and told him i thought i was falling in love with him. He said "yeah actually that's probably what I mean" and went to sleep!!!! Grin

He was right though, married 5 years with 2 dc's and couldn't be happier.

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:36

Yes, yes, I will. I'll do that. Really slowly, and without getting overwhelmed by my own excitement and making an eejit of myself.

I shall honour his friendship and we'll take it from there.

But Jaysus he is pretty. I NEVER fancy pretty men! I always looked for the diamond under the rock, but actually he's diamond like on the outside too. And the rock types were generally rubbish Grin

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Scrumpet · 19/02/2011 18:37

No-one can tell you if it'll last, if it happens. He could be a wonderful date, take you fabulous places and introduce you to his lovely friends and then one day produce his back catalogue of Barometers Monthly for a cosy saturday night in. You just never know.

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:37

Bertie!!! Shock That's what I meant...has it happened to anyone else...that sounds wonderful.

I hardly dare think about it though.

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squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 18:37

Its definately lust... not love.

Love is something that can only happen over time, and speaking to someone isnt enough.

I dont believe you can fall in love at first site really... only lust, and sometimes we are lucky and we do pick the love of our lives.

tinierclanger · 19/02/2011 18:38

At this stage, that's infatuation - but it doesnt mean it can't turn into true love, so good luck! :)

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:38

LOL, Scrumpet. I wouldn't care about the barometers. He can like barometers if he wants to. Grin

But I see what you mean.

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Scrumpet · 19/02/2011 18:39

Awww, that's true infatuation, that is, not caring if he's into barometers, LOL! Imagine that scenario seven years down the line Wink

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 18:40

Ah you see Everett, if its lust not love..at some point, you would want to bash him over the head with his barometer... whereas at the moment, even a barometer would seem sexy if he was holding it... Wink

When its love.. you just sigh at the barometer and put up with it.

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:41

Thankyou. I see what you are saying Grin

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BrokenBananaTantrum · 19/02/2011 18:45

Well I met my DH and a week later we moved in together. We got married a year later and it is our tenth wedding anniversary tomorrow so if can happen. But neither of us had any children which made it less complicated.

Scrumpet · 19/02/2011 18:57

Having thought about this whilst dishing up pizza for several waifs and strays that appear to be staying in my house tonight, I think what you're actually feeling is nothing much more than an initial attraction, with some pheromones thrown in. Every relationship has to start somewhere. I'm a strong believer in the fact that good strong relationships only start when both parties are ready for them - it hasn't nothing much to do with love at first sight or there only being one perfect person for you.

I spotted my dh in the pub and told my friends I thought he was hot, then was introduced to him several days later. We swapped numbers and within a few days of our first date we were living together (no kids at this stage).

We're still together 18 years later.

So really (and sorry to burst your bubble Grin ) it's all about logistics - you may want to marry him and have his babies, but he may only be after a shag. Or maybe you'll live happily ever after.

Invite him round and see if he leaves the toilet seat up. Shag him and see if he leaves his socks in a crumpled heap on the floor (or worse, folds them and puts them in a symmetrical pile with the rest of his clothes).

I know! why don't you ask him out on a date? First things first.

Original poster
EverettUlyssesMcGill · 19/02/2011 18:59

How lovely...that sounds idyllic. We do both have kids, so we will have to work with that.

I feel a bit stupid talking about it as though I know he feels the same, because I don't. He's delightful to be around, and it was his idea to go for tea but he probably says the same to everyone.

I just feel like I can talk to him about nonsense and it doesn't matter. He's very nice and very easy going.

But I don't know him well enough yet, so will keep working on it. Smile

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