My head says no, my heart says YES YES YES!!!

[mrsannon]

I hope some of you see what i am trying to say but lots i'm sure will lynch me!

I am married for 5 years with a 1 yr baby. i am bored, DH gives me no attention, no affection and sex is virtually non existant has been for ages it was an effort just to conceive baby.

I love and don't want to be without him but i'm not sure for the right reasons.

• i want baby to have daddy
• I need a roof over my head
• were ok financially and i'm luck to not have to work, althoguh that causes issues.

A close friend, who i have admired for years has declared an affection to me and wants to keep things cool and secret but were technically having a phone affair! nothing physical but it looks like its going to head that way.

I don't want to ruin things with DH but the attention is doing wonders for me at the moment.

I want to say no more but every time i try the words don't come out.

What do i do, i need this love from somewhere, i tld DH this and even threatened to look elsewhere if i didn;t get it.

Where do i go from here???

I feel shit one minute cos i know what is happening is really BAD but the next i'm such a high cos i'm getting what i have wanted in ages.

Sorry this is sooooooooo long.

well said custy - and the bit about inifinite tosser moments has made me smile (DH and I had another minor scrap this evening ) - and I realised he's not really that bad (although I did turn round and say "well you're making me stand here looking like a bloody idiot earlier" ).

Sorry - hijacked slightly then.

I'm in same position - contemplating what it would be like to have an affair with an old flame - there were many good reasons we did not stay together (most of them blonde and 18) but he still makes me feel very special.(I know - he makes them all feel special too) I think,however, that I have realised that I just need to tell DH that he is crap in bed (he has only ever slept with me and his first wife and I have slpet with loads of men but have never had the heart to tell him 'what' to do IYSWIM)and try to help him to be better - finding the words is not as easy as thinking it though.... any ideas?

Mrsannon. I feel for your dilemma, making the wrong decision will affect the rest of your life. Try and get some time on your own to think it through. My advice is this: think about if you were on your death bed; who would you want by your side? It cuts out the 'feeling special' or 'sexual' element and leaves you with the black and white facts of which person you feel more connected too; who completes your life.

Your question of 'where do i go from here', i would say, no where. I honestly believe that the alternative is a 'fake escape' from the monotony of life which we all sometimes face. I have known people to chase the new life and seen their lives fold like a pack of cards. You can work at your life to improve it (even though you may not think it). The worst way to live is with guilt, and your decision (if it's the wrong one) will hurt your dh, your child and you. Best of luck with what you decide - just hope you make the right decision. x