Do you ever worry that another woman may 'tempt' you dh/dp

[carmenelectra]

Wasn't quite sure how to word this, but in view of the many threads on cheating and general infidelity discussed on here do any of you worry about your own relationship? Or are most of you generally secure and trusting.

I always have been very trusting of my dp but I have to confess although I am confident and not usually insecure some of the threads on here do get me thinking.

Am I being naïve is believing that my dp has always been faithful or will be faithful?

I am a hundred per cent confident that he finds me attractive, but I am getting on a bit now :) and I do wonder whether he(like most men it seems) doesn't find me as attractive as he used to. Or as as attractive as a younger woman. Men don't seem to be bothered about embarrassing themselves by having sex with women much younger.

I know insecurity isn't a desirable quality but I have to question whether I am being naïve in thinking that my dp is 'different'.

In view of all the threads where men have played away on stag weekends and business trips, surely I can't be alone in my thinking!Or am I?

• in my most insecure moments, obv.

i don't think you can really predict if some men will cheat.

I didn't think my XH was the type to stray. In fact I thought of the two of us I thought I was more likely to be tempted, but I was always very aware of my vulnerabilites so consciously avoided situations where I might be tempted and nipped any crushes in the bud.

My XH was dedicated to his work, family orientated, very open with his life (emails, phone etc etc), dedicated to his family, not overly attractive, vain etc. We even had plenty of conversations about affairs, temptation, what we found acceptable etc etc. I choose him partly because he was not 'the type' to be unfaithful, we got together when we were in our early 30's, both had 'lived' a fair bit!

He was offered a drink with a colleague when there was mutual attraction. This led to an affair.

Three years later we are separated pending divorce, my choice. His affair partner was not involved longer than a couple of months. Two children involved. A mess.

I never blamed the OW (except for a short period after discovery). He was the one I was married to, not her.

I trust him 100% that he will not look for it i.e. dating sites etc. and about 99% that he will never ever get involved with someone at work for example. I'm saying 99% because 'never say never'.
I have asked him to tell me if he ever falls out of love with me.

Trust me, it is so naive to think that things would have to "be hideous" at home for someone to be unfaithful, or that you'd know about any "issues" beforehand, because sometimes, there really aren't any - in the relationship at least.

I trust my dh because he has the same view as me...if you want to be with someone else enough then you dismantle the marriage first.
he hates liars, deception. It is one of the things we have in common. He hates them at work and he has struggled to continue friendships with people he knows to be having affairs as it affects his view of who they are. It is just his upright guy thing.
I know I would never cheat on him. I believe he feels the same.
That does not mean that I think it impossible that he would come to me and say ' sorry, this isn't for me anymore' or that one day I could feel like that. But ' I have been seeing someone' conversation? No.

Plus he couldn't afford to divorce me

All men look at other women and fantisise about then IMO. I would not say that my DH would not be tempted/run off with another woman, that would be extremely naive of me. If he did, he knows where the door is!

them.

I think that given my DP has photographed and painted some of the world's most beautiful women naked (them, not him) and has never been unfaithful to anyone in his life, I would say that he is about as trustworthy as a person could be.

I was with my H for 27 years. He was also dedicated to me and our children, told me he loved me every day, was attentive, we had an excellent sex life and a brilliant marriage.

We discussed infidelity, a close friend of his cheated on his wife and he was appalled at his behaviour.

Six months ago he left me for a girl he met through work who he was having an affair with.

I trusted him completely. And ftr he still maintains there was nothing wrong with our marriage, he was perfectly happy until he met her.

I was very trusting of men before my exBF cheated on me and that really broke my heart. I nearly trust my DH 100%. It's nothing to do with him, it's me that has the problem. In my heart I really don't think he would but where I've been betrayed before it's always there iykwim.

I wish DH and I had had a conversation about fidelity. It might not have made a difference, but at least he might have been less naive about the consequences.

I agree BitofFun, as trustworthy as a person can be, which I reckon for a very trustworthy person is about 99%. Your dp could meet a less physically perfect woman, who he fell for on sight etc, not likely but possible.

I actually wish dp would eff off with some woman, he is lovely, but we are totally unsuited. However we are bound by our children, he deserves better than me. he would make a lovely husband to a lovely woman.

Singleandhappy I feel sad at your story

And you,solost

What pagwatch said.