I really don't like my DPs new job! - advice

[broodyelle]

DP is 20. It is his first full time job since dropping out of uni. He works more than 12 hours a day. leaves the house at 9am and is sometimes back as late as midnight! He only gets Sundays off.

He doesn't get an hourly wage either. By making him "self employed" he only gets paid if he signs up customers to npower. He goes door to door and gets £40 for everyone he signs up. His target is two a day. BUT he has been working there a month and last week he sold nothing, and this week he has only sold two all week. He is making no money! and I never see him, even though we live together. I work weekends to pay for my uni costs.

I asked him the other day where he saw himself in a years time and he said still working at this job. I said that he doesn't make any money and he says that it is character and skill building!

So I said how about five years time and he said he wants to do this job forever!

Before he dropped out we had set out our life plan, graduate 2012, work and save for two/three years, start TTC 2015. I have always wanted to be a young mum and he has always supported this idea.

But now I am worried. I can't bring a child up with an almost completely absent DP. I thought he would get a 9-5 job. This job is not practical for family life! How do I make him see this.

I don't want to nag or be the one who made him quit his favourite job. I want him to make his own decision but I wish he would wake up from this dream he seems to be in!

When I was growing up my dad travelled to two or three countries a week and I never saw him, I always told myself I never wanted this for my kids.

I feel in a bit of a pickle!

Hi guys, I spoke to DP last night and told him that I wasn't going to nag him about his job any more. I said I was just going to let him sort it out. I will see what happens in a few months.

The fact that he is not bringing in money is a bit of an issue as his mum has stopped giving him a "student allowance" so he is running out of money to pay his half of utility bills/mortgage.

When I told him I wasn't going to nag any more he said he was relieved! He said it was really hard to listen to me be negative about his job every night when he got home and was knackered and had nothing to show for it. Which I can understand.

I am going to look for a job that I can do during the week so that I have weekends to see him.

And I have realised am living my life at the moment for the future. From now on I am going to set goals that are weeks away not years!

I like posting on mumsnet because people really tell you what they think, and after a while when so many people are saying the same things it kind of sinks in! Even if I don't like what I hear! :)

If he enjoys the sales aspect then he would be far better off looking for a junior sales position in either telesales or sales admin.
He will have a regular wage ( it will be low, around 11-14k ) but more importantly he will be building a c.v and gaining experience.

At the moment he is doing a job that is designed for the very inexperienced or the desperate.

It is set up so that the cannon fodder (your partner) will make no money at all and the company has tiny overheads. The job has a massively high staff turnover, they purposely employ people who are desperate for employment and money as those people will work like Trojans for approx 6 months before losing heart and either being sacked for non performance or resigning.

:)
Good for you. Remember it's his first job. He was probably proud of himself for getting it and all positive about it. He will see that it is not worth it in time but he's only 20 and you don't have DCs so he has the time and opportunity to learn these lessons.

Lots of posters on here are responding as if he was a man with DCs and responsibilities - yes I know he has to pay the bills but surely at 20 with no DCs we all get to make mistakes and learn lessons! We may have been there and done that but these guys haven't. It's important to live life lessons, not skip everything because someone else advises you to.

The only reason I'd back the OP in trying to get this bloke to pack in this job is because it's a shitty job for an unethical company. As outlined perfectly by miniwedge, companies like this rely on the dumb and desperate as cannon fodder, and to succeed with them you have to be an absolute shit, the sort of person who would happily browbeat an old dear into signing away her entire pension.
Glad you're now thinking about living for the moment not the future, though, Broodyelle. Your 20s are a time for haivng fun, deciding what you want out of life, it's a shocking waste of a woman's potential to focus only on marriage&motherhood when you're this young.

A friend of mine got approached for a similar job but based in Cardiff and selling cosmetics. (Victoria something) The difference was that she had already graduated and been in the job market for a couple of years already and so she smelled a rat at the start.

After getting the phone call she googled the company (which they had been very cagey about telling her the name of beforehand for some reason - kept mentioning MAC makeup who blatantly were not involved in any way). She was able to find pages and pages of forums detailing other people's experiences of working for them which were grim to say the least! Exactly the same set up as you describe, marketing companies of different names up and down the country headhunting the young and naive!

Get searching online - somebody else mentioned moneysavingexpert which would be a good place to start! Show him the evidence and see if he still finds his new career such an exciting opportunity!

Broody the pay he is receiving for this job is probably illegal as he is not receiving minimum wage. Your DP may say he is "self employed" but google the definition of an employee and you will see that he is actually an employee of this company.

You are 20.

This is ridiculous.

Let your poor 20 year old boyfriend make his own life plan, get on with university and accept that you may not be together a year from now let a lone 5. I can say this because I'm 22 - seriously you are both far too young to even consider this.

His job sounds like a nightmare. If he wants to do sales get him into recruitment - long hours but not as long as now + basic salary + massive commission.