silent treatment

[fedupandconfused]

Hi I'm a first time poster so be gentle with me! My husband is currently giving me the silent treatment, and he does this every so often. He got annoyed about something at work and this seems to have become something that has made him fall out with me. I have tried to ask him what is wrong but he just says nothing and goes back to not speaking. He is a controlling and quite aggressive man at times, but other times is lovely and very affectionate.When we fall out sometimes he takes my car keys away (he pays for the car- I pay all the other household bills), and I am frightened of him. Can anyone help with a suggestion of how I can get him to talk as I can't stand an atmosphere. It will be nearly a week tomorrow since he fell out with me.Thanks

Hi,
I have finally left my DH who treated me in exactly the same way, everything was my fault followed by the silent treatment - he often managed two weeks or longer. In the end I enjoyed when he didn't speak to me because it was a rest from the constant critism - too fat, too untidy well you name it and I did it too much or too little.

I finally grew a spine after my daughter was born 8 months ago and it was no longer just about me - I did not want her to ever believe that this was an acceptable way to be treated, I want her to grow up to be a strong, independant and happy woman who recognises she deserves only the best - I had to lead by example I finally realised I deserved better - so do you.

Always remember you always have choices and if you leave you will have support, you will not be alone. Do this for your daughter if not for yoursellf - you truelly deserve better than this, well I remember walking on eggshells, never knowing what would set him off - but now it's been 7 months and I can breathe again, all the stuff that's anchoring you to him truelly won't matter when the weight is lifted - be brave take a deep breath and jump - I promise you it's a soft landing. Good luck I will be rooting for you

How are you today, fedupandconfused?

I've been thinking about you.

Think the OP said she only has internet access at work.

Hi everyone. I am ok thanks Flamingo, we are 'friends' again now. I am waiting for the book to arrive. Can't wait to read it! Feel a bit more positive after coming on here on Friday. It turns out he doesn't like me working away. I was away Monday to Wednesaday last week. He has jealousy issues- I have never given him any reason not to trust me, but he obviuosly doesn't-his problem. Will keep updating!Thanks everyone for your support x

Hello fedup. Glad you are feeling a bit more on top of things. I think the Bancroft book will be an eye opener about things that you previously thought were your "fault" or that maybe you were going mad..

Re him not liking you working away - yes, partly jealousy, but also part of the whole control thing - he has to know exactly where you are. Hence the confiscating of car keys - all part of the same thing. And while you say it's his problem, it becomes yours if you allow him to constrict your life and movements.

He very much sounds like he is fitting in the usual controlling patterns. You are a possession, not a person in your own right.

How's things now, fedup?

Even if he doesn't like you working away, he shouldn't behave like a baby about it, but should be talking to you about it honestly and openly. I hope you can get the courage to leave him soon.

x