Discovered that my h had downloaded porn onto his phone yesterday

[overthehedge]

I was shocked and upset he thinks my reaction was totally ott. :( Was it?

Why has he got porn on his phone?

He said he was just messing about online and stumbled across it. He's deleted it now.

if your sex life is still ok then its nothing to worry about...all men look at porn and those who say otherwise are lying lol. joking please dont start on me for that comment

he probarbly wants to impress his mates down the pub with some dirty video he has on his phone - regardless how old men are they still do stuff like that.

if your sex life is non existent or he is showing no interest in you at all, then ask him why he feels like he has to 'go solo' and watch porn when he doesnt seem interested in you at all.

"regardless how old men are they still do stuff like that".

Only if they are incredibly immature tossers with the emotional intelligence of a 15 year old.

Over - have you explained why you were shocked and upset? Does he actually understand your point of view?

I dont actually get why women get upset about porn, men are gunna watch it regardless of what their wife says. All men will watch it at some point in their life.

All the women who say my bloke dont watch it, my bloke doesnt have a wank blah blah are naive.

You are the one who is wrong, not to mention clueless about the massive negative impact porn use is having on the relationships of young couples.

Have you actually read any of the dozens of fairly recent threads about relationships being destroyed by compulsive porn use of men?

If you aren't concerned by the fact that your partner uses porn fine - but don't get all dismissive about the very real concerns of the women who aren't blase and accepting of something that can be very harmful, both to the consumers and participants.

Sigh >>>>>>>> I used to have that attitude, I was quite fucked up once too.

I don't know any bloke who has never watched porn, I know many who actively don't though, since they had daughters in particular. You can so tell as well in your social circles which blokes use and which don't, it's so obvious IMHO.

There is a massive difference between a man who has seen porn at some point, as you say , most have, and a regular user of pornography.

I don't think it adds anything to a relationship. It would turn me on if I watched it but I would rather get my sexual kicks and ideas from my imagination and from experimenting with dh than from watching someone who is being paid to pretend that they are enjoying sex.

I would hate this too, but the other posters are right, men don't feel about it the way that we do, its just sex to them. Do you think it is a regular thing or just the one download? Perhaps now he knows how you feel about it it won't recur.

Why were you checking his phone? This seems symptomatic of other,deeper,issues.

i cant see what the big deal is tbh

so what if he looks at porn, as long as it isnt illegal stuff

if he pays for it, more fool him but no big deal

I agree with malfience, especially her last comment...

tits, I can't spell

I wouldn't read too much into this to be honest. You have said what you think and he has the message. I think it is totally pointless debating the rights and wrongs of porn... it is here to stay whether we like it or not...

The op did not say he was a regular user though.

Op, what did you say/do and what did he say/do? It is impossible to tell if you were ott without more info.

The attitudes on this thread are so depressing. Not all men use porn. There is no need to use porn. Porn is corrosive.

As for the OP, other details are necessary (the state of the relationship in general), but it is not wrong to be hurt or repulsed by your husband using porn. Especially in secret.

I think it depends on the type of porn it was, and if he does it alot. It may have been his mates saying "have a look at this" for a laugh or something. I can understand why you were upset but it all depends on context

see, im a woman (just so you know!) and not a hairy biker and i watch porn, on my own, on the internet, sometimes i watch porn while my DP "services" me. What does it say about me? I watch porn that is directed at men, im straight. My Sex life is pretty damn good and i love my DP. Nothing sinister there although some stuff you stumble across is a bit but you just dont watch it

sorry, didnt mean to kill the thread :(