Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Have i done something really stupid!!!!!

61 replies

pinkhair · 02/02/2011 09:52

I think i may have done something really stupid.....

I have been talking to a guy online for a couple of weeks, we have spoke on the phone, he is really lovely, kind, caring, loving.

We are going to meet up this weekend and go for a drink, but last night i was talking to him and he said he really wanted to see me, so between us we arranged for him to come to mine last night, i told a friend that he was coming over, when he arrived it was fantastic, we chatted he told me all about himself, his life, what he has been doing, etc and i talked about myself, he brought a bottle of wine, (we only had one glass each)everything was fine all night, he went home later on that night and i went to bed feeling really happy.

But then this morning, my friend who i told last night that he was coming round was cross with me for letting him into my home, and as she pointed out...my DS was upstairs alseep. Now all i can think of is how stupid was i for even thinking of it, but he is such a lovely guy, did i do the wrong thing here? surely i can trust my own judgement?

OP posts:
Myleetlepony · 02/02/2011 22:39

Pinkhair, I'm really glad you're going to be more careful. Just bear in mind that a lot of us feel that a really nice man wouldn't have even suggested coming over to your house the first time you met. That is a bit of a warning signal for me, so please be careful. He may not be a mad axe man, but he may be someone who will put a bit of effort into finding his way into your heart before showing a less pleasant side of his character.
I wouldn't go to his house for a while either.

I dunno, I always used to invite a new man round for an evening with mates the first time they came to my house. Then people I trusted would also get to meet them.

yogididabooboo · 02/02/2011 22:43

It wasn;t the most advisable thing to do no. but you did it and you aren't stupid.

it all worked out well and so stop worrying.

just dont do it again

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 22:43

hi, PH

not surprisingly I completely agree wih wwifn here

sllooowwwwwwwww down, girl Smile

Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 22:44

Thank you MrsFlitter Not sure what is going to happen with new chap, if things do go further then i dont think i will be taking him back to mine, only problems is he might expect it now.

I know as well that if my XH finds out he would go mad i think, especially as the divorce has not gone through yet, he could contest it i suppose if he found out.

Dont worry, i will NOT be chucking petrol on to the fire anymore!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 22:53

surprise---i'm glad your turns out to be a great ending, good luck to you. :)

Myleet---i am not interested in going round his house.

yogi---thanks for saying im not stupid...lol

AF---i know i have to slooowwwwwwwww down, and im going to now, should of come on here first before agreeing to him coming over...lol :)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 22:57

PH....

never mind what he might expect in the future wrt to coming round to yours

you can change your mind

change it...and keep it changed

the answer is no

meet in public in future, or invite someone else along too

if he doesn't like it, or applies pressure...you know what you must do

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:04

ahem
Shock

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 23:07

hi PHBF Smile

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:08

sighhhhh
Hello AF Smile

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:08

Where is she?!!
Where are you Pinkhair?!!

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:13

I'll see you tomorrow PinkHair xxxx Wink

Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 23:15

Im here PHBF!!!!

get it over and done with, you might as well tell me off too!!!! Shock

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 23:19
Grin
Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 23:19

Thanks AF i will take your advice on board and use it as well, and yes i know what i must do!!!

Me thinks i'm in big trouble tomorrow with PHBF

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 23:19

get her, PHBF

biff her up !

Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 23:26

AF dont encourage her, she dont need any of that, i'm going to be in enough trouble as it is with her!!!! Grin

OP posts:
pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:29

Thanks AF....stand back {{biff biff bop bop}}

Grrrrrrr I'll just make you work extra hard at the gym tomorrow....

Thing is Pink....you didn't like him that much the other day, he's talked his way in.... red flag alert!!

Anyhooooooo my telling off is done till we next have wine Not at all upset that you didn't tell me he was going round to your house because you know I would shout at you

Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 23:34

You would of gone mad if i had told you PHBF, that why i told other close friend, sorry.

OP posts:
pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:37

And this threas wouldn't have been written.

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:37

thread

Original poster
pinkhair · 02/02/2011 23:39

No i know, lesson learnt, no more ok, i'll be a good girl now.....

God you lot on here are more like my flipping family...lol Grin

I will work extra hard at gym tomorrow PHBF Grin

OP posts:
robberbutton · 02/02/2011 23:44

Grin love your threads pinkhair! I mean, of course hate all the crap stuff you go through, but you and phbf sound lovely, and of course all the wise owls of mn get to dispense their fab and very sound advice :)

Good luck, take it slow, be safe!!

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:45

And I wouldn't have gone mad as well you know.
I would have advised you against as any friend would.
You can do what you like Pinkhair, you are a grown up, you no longer need permission. Grin

StuffingGoldBrass · 02/02/2011 23:46

The key thing to remember with this bloke PH, if you hear from him again, is that he is either thoroughly stupid and thoughtless or bad news. Because sensible people who do internet dating know the rules about meeting in a public place first. Most internet dating sites have an advice page that flags this particular suggestion up repeatedly. So I'm afraid it's far more likely that this bloke is bad news and has an instinct for vulnerability.
(And I would say that to anyone, not just someone recently out of a shit relatinship).

pinkhairsbestfriend · 02/02/2011 23:47

Yes, there have already been a few red flags......Hence my concern. He has smooth talked his way in after you called it off for that very reason.
Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread