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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If I could wave a magic wand....

26 replies

maristella · 30/01/2011 13:16

my ex would be my DH.

not DS' father btw!

but my ex from a couple of years ago.

he came over last night, and it was fantastic. we are the best of friends, i fancy the pants off him. it could be so so great.

but he has issues, he's hurt me so much in the past, and i'm not prepared to take the considerable risk of being hurt so badly again. how shit!

what would your magic wand change?

OP posts:
ImFab · 30/01/2011 13:17

My ex would be my DH too.

kiwifruitisfun · 30/01/2011 13:34

I would have stayed in NZ.

I would have made more effort to stop the gradual drifting apart from my ex that ended in divorce.

I would never have joined that bloody commune.

maristella · 30/01/2011 13:53

a commune? Shock

OP posts:
kiwifruitisfun · 30/01/2011 14:01

A long boring story and a stupid idealistic mistake.

maristella · 30/01/2011 14:07

my magic wand would also erase alot of painful situations i walked into :)

OP posts:
kiwifruitisfun · 30/01/2011 14:10

Basically it cost me all the things that ever really mattered to me (except for my children)

IWantWine · 30/01/2011 15:45

If I could wave a magic wand my 'DH' would be my ex! Grin Oh I wish!

pissovski · 30/01/2011 15:49

... I would have encouraged DH to marry me sooner, and got on with TTC quicker. We were together 8 years before getting married and then waited another 2 before TTC. It didn't take us that long (am pg with DC1 now) but had we shifted a bit earlier, we might have still had my mum around (died 18months ago) and DH's dad might have survived to see DC (he has days/weeks to live)

nemofish · 30/01/2011 19:22

I would have gone back to college years ago.

Would have started TTC earlier too. I may have been able to have a sibling for dd Sad

I would have been kinder to myself and not carried around guilt and shame that wasn't mine.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 30/01/2011 19:24

If I could wave a magic wand Johnny Depp would be my DH...

Seriously though, I would magic up ex a nice lady who he loved as much as he loves me so he can get over me and be happy.

happybubblebrain · 30/01/2011 19:29

I'd change where I live, I'd stick a few zeros on my bank account and take one off my dress size.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 30/01/2011 19:31

Oh yes I would lose a stone or two with my wand and add a zero or two to my bank account. Grin

maristella · 30/01/2011 19:47

i wouldn't add zeros to my bank balance until i'd changed it's status from minus funds Confused

i'd also lose a stone and gain 2 cup sizes Grin

OP posts:
happiestblonde · 30/01/2011 19:49

I wouldn't have hurt my DP so much over the last few weeks that now he thinks I'm having an affair and no longer wants me. I'm not, I never would, but I've fucked it.

stargazy · 30/01/2011 20:06

How have you hurt him so badly he no longer wants you and why won't he believe you?Sounds harsh.

ScaredOfCows · 30/01/2011 20:18

Happiestblonde - such a sad post. Whatever have you done that was so bad?

MaeMobley · 30/01/2011 20:22

Is this about relationships in general?

For me, I would have looked out for my younger sister instead of being the self centred teenager that I was.

FaffTastic · 30/01/2011 20:27

My magic wand wish? That someone would tell me the answers and what decision to make. I'm tired. I don't know what to do and the stress of it all is making me ill.

If only magic wands actually existed Smile

MigratingCoconuts · 30/01/2011 20:45

I woud have never done the first marriage to my arse of a first H. BIG mistake, should never had done that....
...however, I would probably not met my lovely H2 if I hadn't so, can I really be sorry?

madonnawhore · 30/01/2011 21:49

...he would be in love with me.

robberbutton · 30/01/2011 22:33

... I wouldn't have railroaded H into having the DCs so early. I'm not sure how I could have done it differently, I desperately wanted them and we both love them with everything now they are here. But he wasn't ready and I'm sure it damaged our relationship :(

Good topic!

HavingAMaybe · 31/01/2011 00:58

..I would have stayed in the UK. Kiwifruitisfun we could swap?

dejavuaswell · 31/01/2011 09:59

My sister Jane would not have died!

My sister Jane was killed on 24th October 1992. After many years of hardly mourning for her Christmas 2010 was really difficult.
I had such strong mental images of her lying cold and alone in the cemetery wondering where the rest of the family and her boyfriend were that it has made me really tearful and spoilt Christmas 100%.

Anniegetyourgun · 31/01/2011 10:35

Happiestblonde, you didn't do anything wrong, he's just being a mean git.

Anniegetyourgun · 31/01/2011 10:37

dejavueaswell, that is so sad. You know she's not lying alone in the cemetery though, the real "her" isn't there. She's with you whenever you remember her.