No birthday gift from my Mother in Law again

[grapejuice]

My MIL has never given me or my husband a birthday present. She gives to our children but never us. Last week I had a "big" birthday and yet again, all I received was a card. My husband says this may be normal and perhaps most MILs don't give their adult offspring gifts. I am particularly annoyed as she was widowed last year and has had a conisderable amount of input from my husband over the last few months but she didn't even send him a birthday gift. I know she has plenty of money so I don't think it would have hurt her to send a small gift. She did give a generous Christmas gift to him/us. What experience do other people have?

Very good point, Aurynne!

Umm.... just looked in the back garden and found a shopping baf sitting on the table in the summer house. I had seen it there earlier in the week and assumed it was some flowers that DH had bought for me and was leaving there to keep cool. Since they were still there this morning I checked. In the bag was a gift from SIL and a card from MIL... oops. She rang me last night and I didn't mention it.... I think a grovelly phone call is in order

aurynne - I have no FIL!

I think you're bloody cheeky to think you get to tell your husband what he can and cannot give his mother for her birthday, regardless of your no gift whine.

I would never think to impose my opinion on such a thing.

She was generous at Christmas, as you say. Don't be so ungracious.

I don't think you're cheeky at all! However sometimes gifts come in other ways like spending time with the Grandchildren and helping out. However, if she doesn't do that either then yes, I totally agree, the least she could do is a Christmas and Birthday present for all of you! Some people are just tight with money unfortunately, it seems to be like that in some families.

I still think help and time spent playing, occasionally looking after and loving her Grandchildren is more rewarding than any present/card she could buy. Xx

Buy her a gift from only your dc, and a card from you when it's her birthday.

My late MIL never gave presents to anyone, including GCs. We did get a card at Christmas. We always gave her presents, but she usually 'poo hoo'd' them and put them away unused.

My MIL sometimes gives me a gift, rarely one that I want or need and always late.

Times she doesn't i can honestly say I don't give it a second thought.

I always make the effort to remember her birthday and get her a present but its from my DC not'me'.

She normally buys my husband Elmis shaving stuff as thats what he uses so is useful!

I loved my mil. She never gave me a gift or card but l never even noticed as l got some from my own dm. My dh bought his dm lovely gifts as she hadnt much when they were growing up and he wanted to look after her well.
My own dm gave me a burthday present right to the end but never my dh except for big birthdays.
There is no way one could keep up with all inlaws gc etc. Its too much.
And mothers deserve presents for all their years of giving and sacrifice and it was totally horrible of you to begrudge your mil a box of chocs which is a shabby present for a mother.
Saw your update but please give more and forget getting. Your own dc will make it up to you when you are old.

Just for the children.

At least she treats you both the same. And I think it's ok.
My MIL gives OH a gift for his birthday but ignores my birthday 😕

ZOMBIE THREAD!

Not the norm- all my friends still receive birthday presents from their parents

My sadly deceased MIL festooned us with presents. She was overly generous, used to find it embarrassing but realised she got enjoyment from it. Bless her.

My MIL usually gives me a gift. It's always obviously something she's seen in the after Christmas sales, bought for the teenage granddaughter and then suddenly remembered it's my birthday. Thing is, I share a birthday with another family member so really, she shouldn't forget. I don't care that she doesn't get anything for me, I do care that she makes out that she really thought a woman in her mid fifties really wants cosmetics aimed at teenagers. It's the same when she makes a huge fuss about her other ds and dil wedding anniversaries - cards, gifts, baby sitting and so on. DC and me? Not even a card during our over 30 years of marriage. Again, not especially bothered but I do hate the fact that she doesn't treat her ds 's equally.
Fwiw, I always follow my mum's example and treat dil the same as I do ds, so she gets cards, gifts, I always check with ds for suitability of gifts, and I spend the same on her as I do him. She's lovely and I love her because my DC is so happy with her.

My family tend to make sure the kids are sorted present wise, it got to a stage where my siblings bought each other the present one Xmas.

The only thing I would say is if she does buy the children birthday and Xmas presents, then I would be likely to buy her something. If she is making an effort for them, its only courteous to get her something as well.

Who knows what the OPs MIL does now. The thread is 6 years old!