So what am i called now?

[susiedaisy]

Recently separated from H and will be divorced b4 end of year, and have been wondering what do i call myself now, still my married name with Mrs b4 it or am i a Ms now? Don't really want to keep his name to be honest but not sure how DC will take it if i changed my name but not theirs, what has anyone else done?

I've kept my married name but am using Ms. I wanted to stay the same name as the dc's.

You call call yourself what ever you wish to, on a day to day basis. Really, it becomes an issue when you finalise the divorce...

Changing your name will partly signal to the world that this has happened and I would time it for when you are ready to let everyone know.

How old is Dc?

migrating DC are 10 and 13, can i ask what do you mean it becomes an issue when divorce is finalised?

I changed back to my maiden name by deed poll, when I felt ready to acknowledge that it was over.
I thought it was a small step, but actually it made a huge improvement to my state of mind.
My dc were fine with it, and I chose to go back to Miss too.
You can call yourself whatever you like, name and title, the deed poll or decree absolute just makes it easier to tell the banks etc.
HTH and good luck

I kept the Mrs as I remember when married people going on about single mothers in a negative way, and I can't be arsed with that nonsense really from randoms who flitter in and out of my life, people who know me, know the situation.

I mean, on the legal documentation, you will officially called by your maiden name, that's all really.

Other than that, it is up to you.

The Dc are old enough for you to sit and talk it through with them, if you wish to name change. If you want to change, then I would explain it to them so they understand why you want to.

It sounds to me like you are in early stages separation so I would consider holding fire on any decision for another 6 months whilst you come to terms with all you are going through.
Its a roller coaster of a time.

sorry...got that wrong. You will officially called by your married name on the documentation.

Its so long ago I can't remember the details!

I changed my name back to my maiden name (which is DS's middle name) and am Ms. Like WhiteTulips, it really felt like The End of all the hassle and upset and the start of me being me. Was a good thing.

Ditto with Grockle and Like White Tulips

I have gone back to my maiden name and am Ms

DC's don't seem to have an issue with it but tbh I didn't ask their opinion

I just feel like I'm ME and for the record I never liked being Mrs Marriedtoafuckwit anyway.

Luckily, I had kept my maiden name as my married name. (its like I knew, in some way )

I work as a teacher and many teachers like to wait for an end of year or start of new school to avoid student gossip. Just makes a neater change over.

You don't have to change your name by deed poll to go back to your maiden name - if you change your surname when you marry, it's only an assumed name; you're allowed to use an assumed name in the UK, so your 'real' name is always actually your maiden name. Therefore you can call yourself whatever you like, whenever you like.

I'm Ms Marriedname because I prefer the name, and it's simpler not to change back. I absolutely welcome "married people going on about single mothers in a negative way" as it gives me a chance to tell them a few facts of life .

I still used my married name and still use Mrs. I used Ms for a stage pre-married, and continued to use maiden name for a stage post married.
But, for a long time, I have been Mrs X, and I am happy with that, so continue to use it.

I still use my married name because I CBA with the hassle of changing it. Also because it is the same as the kids' name. But above all because it annoys my XH and his new fiancée

thanks for your replies, going to chew it over for a while but def don't feel like keeping his name indefinitely.

Glad to hear you're going to think about your options for a while, the decision will be with you for a long time yet, so best to mull it over and not do anything hasty :)

(had a friend who changed her name to her mum's maiden name in a fit of anger when her dad's OW got found out about, she regrets it many years later because the maiden name is realllllly hard to spell and now gets on ok with her dad, as fate would have it :))

I've always been a Ms., both as a kid, unmarried woman, married women - as others have explained, you definitely don't have to change your title if you dont want to, it's entirely your call on it. Just like before you couldhave chosen Miss or Ms all you like, it doesn't really matter to outsider/from a legal POV.

I have just changed my name back to my maiden name so have a different name to DS BUT ExH has just offered to double-barrel DS's surname (he's 4 so can do it before he starts school). V happy.

"ExH has just offered to double-barrel DS's surname"

Do you need his permisson? I've never been in that situation - i'm guessing as his joint legal guardian he could block it until a child turns 16/18 or something?

Yes, we have joint parental responsiblity so we both have to agree to it.

I'm one of the old school and have 4 DC. I dont hold much with 'names' but thought it would be more confusing if the children were one name and I was another so I just kept my married name.

I absolutely hate the term 'Ms', its just a personal thing but i see it as someone who couldnt keep a 'Mr' or could never make a 'Mrs'. I know it sounds rather strange - but if that is all im going to be called I'm fine with that.

So to clarify things, I've stayed Mrs ..... and there is no confusion. My married name was a mouthful and my maiden name was just as bad. If i had an easy maiden name then it might have made it easier, but it didnt work that way for me.

So like many say, its up to you, decide what you want to be called, and so long as its not for anything illegal its nobody elses business.

You can call yourself whatever you like :)
I have a friend with bank accounts in three different names - her maiden name, her married name and both surnames iin double-barrelled form. She's still married.

It's usual, these days, to let children choose their surname post-divorce. My step-nieces & nephews each use a different version of concatenated names. It feels like a bigger issue than it is.

Not the precise answer you were hoping for, just wanted to highlight the fact that you have all the choice in the world on this matter!

i see it as someone who couldnt keep a 'Mr' or could never make a 'Mrs'

Well that's just plain wrong. Don't bother saying "well that's just my opinion", because you are just incorrect.

I've been a Ms since the age of 10 or 11 and my SAHM couldn't explain why she had to tell the milkman she was married, but my dad didn't. I realised then that there was something fishy about titles which people didn't like to admit to in polite company ;)

And I've been happily married for 14 years to my DH. So I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that Ms = "can't get or keep a man". I'm proof that you're wrong, as are many of my professional colleagues and family members who prefer that option (admittedly not many). What a silly, immature thing to write.

Really!

ow! that's a dangerous opinion - I'm a MS, i've been a Ms since I turned 18 and decided I was too old to be a Miss.
I'm now happily married and i'm still a Ms.

It says i'm an adult woman.

I didn't "fail to keep" Mr AGYG, I chucked him of my own accord, and I'm proud of that. I had to work quite hard at it because I was suffering a heavy bout of depression at the time, working full time and raising four children, and he didn't go easily. So don't go belittling my divorce like I sort of lost the bloke down the back of the sofa or something.