The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

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Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite.

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

Zany

If you are a problem drinker and you cut down your health may improve but you will always be vulnerable.

My advice would be to stop. You'll enjoy life more.

Morning all

Glad to see everyone is full of beans this morning!!

indie I had exactly that problem with cutting down. I could cut back to the recommended guidelines for weeks and weeks, but boy was it hard work.... constantly thinking about it and monitoring it and worrying about it.

Stopping has removed all of those things - it's just a non option. I realised on Saturday night that it wasn't even bothering me then, I was just enjoying life without it. I am really glad that I decided to just stop rather than control it, I do think that I have chosen the easier option.

Hello all,

goodness I felt sorry for myself yesterday!
I have slipped back recently into thinking that Friday night is wine night, and then paying for it for the rest of the week.
6pm Friday, I've had a hard week, feel jolly, sad, looking forward to, not looking forward to the weekend. Any, or all of them. Also the horrible afterwards seems to last for days and days now.

Bafana thank you so much for your post.

Stopping is so much easier than thinking about what to do. I'm hoping that having stopped altogether once, I can do it again. If I read my first posts, it should remind me of where I don't want to be.

Much love all. x

Cornwall sounds fab Isinde Is there room for a puking boddler (baby/toddler)?

I've been convinced by my friend to run a 10k in May so I'll run behind the bus for training purposes

well I was rubbish. Day 1 and I was full of good intentions. I got home and my usual crunch time around 6pm I had a bath and tried not to think about booze. Then DH asked me to get him a beer. He knows I have a problem with stopping once I start so he said why not try and limit your drinking if you are going to have a glass of wine, make sure that you haev no more than half a bottle. Well that was like a green light to drink. There was a bottle in the fridge with 3/4 in it. I drank it but told him that some went in the dinner. I also drank the end of a bottle of red when i was cooking so he didnt see. What an idiot.
Think I should change my name to fizzywaterlover to help me in this process!

Hey Thurso I am glad that you are feeling better today!

I have been through all the brave babes threads and pulled out the little stories and bits of information that really really resonated with me, and when I feel that drinking may be a good idea I reread them, and remember why I am on the bus in the first place.

I still dont know if I want complete abstinence or control. Somehow I'm not scared about the next time I'll go out, it is one day at the time. I must say again (and I'm not preaching) that the allen carr book has been a huge help. I'm still thinking about drinking but this time it is different, I'm imagine a sip of white wine and being completely repulsed by it. It is so bizarre.

Oh Chardonnay, I am always taking sneaking sips of wine when DP or anyone else isn't looking. DP often wonders how I can be as pissed as I am.
We're only fooling ourselves.

Weekends, Frid-Sund is my time. Am sick of not remembering my weekends properly.
Am sick of drinking TBH. Like Indie I think about it all the time when I'm not drinking.

IsInde

If you "STILL end up thinking about drinking all the time" then thay implies that that is not because you have stopped, but because your default is to think about drinking all the time (which is surely a symptom of problem drinking, wouldn't you say?)

So drinking again isn't going to fix that. Sorting out your head is going to fix that.

Many of us choose AA for this sorting out of the head; but, even if you don't, you are going to have to choose something, because nothing physical you do (such as bending your elbow less often) is going to resolve a mental obsession.

If your problem was not booze but porn and you just stopped watching porn, do you think you would think about it more or less? But the solution isn't to go back to watching porn - it's to get your head round a healthy attitude to porn, such that you don't feel your life is empty without it.

Trip to Cornwall sounds good, but could we tow the bairns behind in a cosy wagon or something? I am quite sure they are all adorable but I don't want one wailing within earshot!
We have decided to go for the 5K so will begin breaking myself in gently -
there, that should do for starters.....

That makes perfect sense to me indie and that is exactly how I tackled it finally. Having tried the controlled drinking over and over again to no avail
And I have now managed 10 weeks, and if I can then anyone can!!

just to be clear the was to my own thought process and not directed at you!!

Perfect sense.

Might also help to distinguish thinking about drinking into thinking positive thoughts about drinking ("I could murder a pint," whatever) and thinking negative thoughts about drinking ("drinking makes me feel dreadful, I'm so glad I'm not doing it today.")

And, of course, it might spoil your day, but any sort of thinking about drinking is quite normal (you're a problem drinker, of course you're going to think about drinking) and it won't kill you.

ACTING on those thoughts might do, though.

indie it absolutely gets less. I think it's a bit like adrenaline. When you are in a fearful situation, you are really really flowing with adrenaline, but your body cannot maintain that level, so eventually it subsides because your are perpetually immersed in the situation, it is only occasionally it ramps up again. Whereas if there is a situation that you are exposed to intermittently - the adrenaline kicks in every single time.
So when you carry on drinking occasionally, it is always there, whereas with stopping completely it eventually levels off, and only occasionally appears. The trick is to ignore it when it appears.

Now - that might be the biggest loads of bollocks in the world, BUT it's the way I am dealing with it in my own head.

As someone else who has failed miserably many times in moderating my drinking, the thought of just stopping altogether does seem less painful.
I need to remind myself again and again when I want to drink to remember just how awful I feel after a binge.
One day at a time for me. Friday night will be the big test. Always an excuse to drink a bottle of wine and a couple of beers.

Luci

How did you cope with Friday nights when you were a child?

Read whole thread last night and didn't drink. White wine my downfall, have been doing 1 to 2 bottles most nights. No blacking out or daytime drinking but I know I need to stop.
I will not be drinking tonight.

No blacking out? Really? You mean, next day, you remember everything you did and said the night before?

To be honest, I am mainly on my own after DCs in bed so no one to say anything to. In social situations I drink less.
But of course you are right I don't remember in any detail my last hours of tv/net surfing.

afternoon!, having a lovley day here, just been sorting out my drop-dead gorgeous outfit for tomorrow night - a black tie do in the city, (dh actually does look a bit 007 in a DJ! ) i have bought a long crushed velvet off the shoulder number with a fish-tail hem in deep red, goes with my silver sparkly choos and a super lush silver bag with diamantes, diamonte choker and earrings (doesnt sound too much does it? i wont be drinking so i know i will still look reasonable by midnight!, what a comforting thought!

been thinking about compleate tee-total as opposed to trying to control drink - i tried for YEARS to control my drinking, everyday was almost like being on a hamster wheel, wake up everyday knowing i had over done it the day before, promise myself that today would be different, going to bed every fucking night beating myself up about the fact i had yet again over done it and promise myself that tomorrow would be different and on and on and on... - what a bloody waste of time, energy, emotion, money, god, i feel sick to think of all the negative thoughts, the guilt, the worrying and the plain misery i put myself through!, for what?, a glass of fucking wine! jesus h!!, im not doing that again! i have got used to feeling well, to waking up looking forward to a new day, not having to worry about what shit i caused the day before, i like feeling that im now in some sort of control over my own destiny, that im not being dictated to, that im my family feel that i put them first and treat me accordingly, with some respect - it may not be for everyone, but i can highly recommend giving up totally, i feel such a sense of release, the worry has lifted, i can tackle the things that life throws at me with a proper sense of purpose, i like the peace in my head at night, its honestly life enhancing for me!

hmm!, not sure where im going with this essay! , i hope i dont sound like an evanglical nutcase, im just shocked at how much my life has changed, for the better, simply by putting the booze down!

ps, being sober is no gaurante that your spelling will improve!