Well, I have made much progress on my report during that interval, so stopping now for a coffee 
....
There are two further issues I'm curious about.
In your original posts on this thread, which I always understood were written from the perspective of shock and disbelief, you mentioned that you had found a stray text. Can you tell me something about the discovery then, as I might be assuming wrongly that your wife disclosed the affair voluntarily? Having said that, if she took that opportunity to tell you everything instead of a denial, my previous post still stands.
An unintended discovery results in shock for someone in your wife's position too and it has the curious and competing effect of producing both raw honesty and further deception.
In my experience, when there is a shock discovery, an unfaithful spouse is rarely as honest as when s/he has been preparing a confession and frequently, many lies are told; some to avoid further hurt and most to reduce her own culpability. There is also a tendency to minimise aspects of the affair.
However, the shock at having to answer questions for the first time can also produce some very honest instant responses, that much later on are retracted, because they are unpalatable and the memory has faded.
In conclusion, my advice is for you to write down what your wife has been saying, while it is fresh in your memory. It is astonishing how corrupted our memories become, with time, understanding and hindsight.
Secondly, since I have already mentioned the gender politics, I think there might be an elephant in the room...or on this thread at least. You are the SAHP and gave up a well-paid career to care for your family. Is it a possibility that instead of celebrating that joint choice and respecting and valuing your role, your wife has allowed herself to be influenced by the gender expectations and her respect diminished for you accordingly?
This concept is not vastly different to the low value accorded by some working males, towards their female spouses' work in the home, but your domestic arrangements may have possibly attracted more perjorative comment from idiotic alpha male colleagues and sexist friends and family, which is another example of a lifestyle vulnerability and how the views of others can infiltrate a person's mindset.
Finally, I note your work ethic to keep the show on the road, cooking dinners from scratch and keeping everything going.
You are expecting far too much of yourself
You have heard from posters here and I would echo them, about how for some time afterwards, they could barely function. You need to cut yourself some slack here. If it helps, my H felt it was his responsibility to take over what I lacked the energy and motivation to do. It would have been inconceivable to stage a dinner party in the initial aftermath. I could just about manage to go to work and get the basics done. My H did the rest.
I would really recommend a book called Not Just Friends, by Dr. Shirley Glass. My advice here is based on her work and my own experiences. Her approach as a therapist was to apply trauma survival techniques to the shattering effects of infidelity and I think that is absolutely correct. You need to give yourself permission to recognise this as a major trauma in your life. This seems much easier for women to permit, than men (the gender politics again!) but your wife should be helping you to do this.