Is it OK for your husband to have a female friend

[basl]

Long story and don't want to go into it too much but just wondered if i am being silly. In the middle of rather painful realisation that my husband and i have drifted apart. He had a small fling but tells me has a very close friend who he went to school with that he chats to and has been great at listening. He told me he has her number on his phone and felt he should tell me as she asked him out for lunch with a few other GIRL friends that he has recently got back in touch with and another guy. He said he couldn't do this and she was stunned he said. "Whats wrong with having a mate thats a girl she said "

I find this a bit hard to take but wondering if i am being a bit old fashioned. I have trust issues but he has openly admitted to this friendship, the girl is married with two children and he says he is in no way attracted to her but she is a great laugh and a good friend.

I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of male friends my hubby has.
I don't have enough fingers and toes to count his female ones....
He much prefers womens company. Apart from one or two close make friends and his brother or sons, you very rarely find him with a bloke.

He's round next door with a female friend right now. Her partner left and she is upset.

Doesn't matter to me, I know who is best friend and adored lover is. Me.

No I wouldnt like my dh to have female friends(flame away!). Tbh my dh himself has said that he wouldnt be friends with a girl as doesnt think men can be friends with girls without sex rearing its head(so to speak!).
He has women he speaks to at work obviously but they dont go on nights out-thats strictly boys only. I am happy with as of a jealous disposition.

So basically, regardless of the fact that you (the generic you who disagree with female friends) are in a committed relationship with house/kids etc, you are still convinced your DPs would fuck any woman silly given half the chance?
Sad. If that is true, we need to eliminate heterosexuality. Or monogamy.

Pink that is so daft, as statistically you are more likely to have an affair with someone you have met through work, not a friend.

So if all men and women are walking timebombs wanting to fuck each other, he'd better stop working with women.

If you think work affairs can only happen on works nights out you are both deluded tbh.

Sex can 'rear it's head' without it blossoming into a full-blown affair. Yes there may well be a frisson between men and women who are friends - I think that's fairly natural and normal - but it doesn't mean anything has to result from it.

dh had a 'female friend' who was actually an ex (he was upfront about this i hasten to add) who was nasty to me the first time we met and since then has become a contentious issue. they rae barely in touch now. if dh had long term female friends who he had never slept with i wouldnt mind but he doesnt. dh is quite socially awkward with new non army/work people so if he developed a platonic female friend now id he highly suspicious.

gay40 - as a former gay person i can say that both my longterm (gay) partners went off with women who they claimed were "just friends" to start with. i know lots of lesbian relationships this has happened to and have to say it's an issue i'm glad not to have to deal with anymore now i'm on the other side of the fence so to speak. not only does it hurt like hell but it often has nasty repercussions through friendship groups.

i don't think people think their partner would "shag anything" but that a close intimate friendship can turn into something else.

at the same time since i'm attracted to both men and women then my partner should have something to worry about!

Gee thanks kepler. DH's best friend is a gay bloke. I'm now going to spend time wondering what they get up to all those hours they spend down the "pub".

My husband, no it's not. He had female friends when we met and each and everyone he'd slept with! There weren't loads, but he's not that sort of bloke/.

is it possible to be a "former gay person" ?

Who knows, AF. It's entirely possible. Since many women make the change from straight to gay later in life, it's just as likely the other way round.
So by Kepler10b's reasoning, no one can have friends. In Case.

I think that's when women get into cats then, at least they won't run off with your man/ woman/ partner/ husband/wife.

The main thing is to find out whether these friends you find threatening are really threatening at all. Sitting at home bitching moaning and hacking into your partners facebook won't give you the answers. You have to actually meet them and decide for yourself.

Cats aren't particularly loyal either.

Binfull i did not have to hack my husbands fb i was actually his friend until i started to join in with the conversations. I was then blocked. The friend i refer to i have never met in my life and never been introduced. I shall share a development. This friend happened to walk into a soft play i was at. Now i never noticed but my friend asked if i knew the girl sitting behing me? I turned round and recognized the girl as one of my husbands friends on FB. My friend advised she was staring over and thought i might have know her. That very night my hubby asked if i had been at soft play and i laughed and asked if his friend had told him. He laughed it of and called me paranoid. Then admitted she fb him and told him she was sitting behind me.
Now freak i may be but this is why i asked the question in the first place and the answer is now clear.
For the record i have no problems what so ever with males having friends with females PERIOD. I just dont!! I stupidly asked a question without giving a background. I have many male friends and especially at work. My husband has lots of female friends but it was this one in particular i could not get my head round. That very nigh i had my answer but thanks for all your comments about how absurd i was for asking the question.

If she sat behind you and didn't say anything in a soft play place, and is a best friend of your husband that is just plain rude.

Being blocked on facebook is also a little rude, but I suppose he is only telling her his side, how unhappy he is in the marriage perhaps? So perhaps she is confused as to why you want to involve yourself in your husband's social life and friendship conversations when you don 't want to be happily married to him anymore?

I would have thought out of politeness and respect to his current wife she would acknowlegde you, and I would always acknowledge my husband's friends kids fgs if I saw them playing.

He is obviously looking to build a new support network of friends separate to you if your marriage is making him feel lonely and isolated.

Wasn't referring to you on fb hacking, there are many posts on here about it. And when you only get half the story it makes you feel worse not better. If my husband meets new female friends I always would make an effort to meet them, well no different to males really.

I hope you have a support network too, not sure from your posts as to whether you are heading for divorce, so perhaps he is surrounding himself with a support network incase this happens?