Does your dh never tell you he loves you? Never hug you etc?

[namechangesgalore]

Mine is like this. Help. Having counselling and nothing changing so far.

If it is deliberately with holding affection that is a type of abuse... either way if it bothers you and not him maybe is time to move on. there are plenty of blokes who are affectionate so go get one of them and be happy. x

This rings such a chord with me. DH used to be affectionate and we had a good sex life. He admitted he was bisexual about 4 years ago, and initally it was ok, though i found it difficult, but he gradually has withdrawn all forms of affection to me, and our sex life is now non-existent.
It makes me soo sad and unhappy, luckily i have a great job and lovely kids but i have this permanent unhappiness about it.
I honestly don't think he is having an affair, and i really don't want to end our marriage, we've been together for more than 25 years and i don't want my kids to spend half a week with me, and half a week with him. I still enjoy his company (mostly), i have told him i really hate not having any physical contact but nothing has changed - he tried to make out it was me, but he pulls away from even a peck on the cheek from me

Can I suggest this book?

I read the one one children to learn more about how I can make sure my kids know I love them but I think it says a lot about how we can miss the signals sent/needed from partners too:

5 languages of love

Thanks Migrating.

Any other advice/ experiences to share?

I guess I'm thinking that you need to decide if this is deliberate or if it is an inability to express.

People show love in lots of different ways and we can often miss the signals. He may think he is expressing his love more than you realise.

However, if it is deliberate, then there is something wrong there.
And if you cannot live in a relationship without these expressions of love then he has a problem that he needs to understand clearly could end the marriage.

good luck!

I'm sure it's not deliberate but I do think there's a lack of effort.

So you want to make more of an effort (and I can understand why)

Does he understand the consequences if he doesn't?

Do you know you are expressing love to him in a way that he understands it?

I know you are having counselling for this so I am guessing this is well explored.

Maybe you need to think about what your bottom line is so that you can give him a clear message of what will happen if you don't feel this affection more.

How was he before you married? Is this a matter of reminding him of the effort he needs to put in or is this trying to change someone who has alwyas been like this?