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Original poster

Right confession time...

48 replies

molemesses · 04/01/2011 04:36

Remember Ipom?

Well, it's me.

I namechanged as I needed a laugh and an escape from reality while I sorted my head out after HE left for Aus without me and the kids.

Anyway, in the last 6 months since he's gone. I did think it was best if we went and moved out there. He paid the agent and was going to pay for the flights, shipping and medicals and we've been talking on line as often as we can but...

For 2 months, it hasnt been sitting right with me. I am doing ok for myself. I'm now in a position to look for work, the house is getting sorted, the bank accounts are now in my name, the bills are almost all up to date and I feel almost happy. Well, the happiest I've been for a while except with this nagging voice saying I'm making the wrong decision.

So, I have made the biggest decision of my life and I've decided to stay in the UK. The kids may hate me for a while but I cant go out there and live a lie, it's not fair on any of us. Including HIM.

OP posts:
babeinthewood · 04/01/2011 04:41

I dont know you or the events leading up to this but:

Good on you! the kids wont hate you, they might not like the idea of the situation, but in reality they will still go to school, have the same friends, the same climate(!), same mum and same house, as they have for the last six months, so I reckon they will deal with it.

Moving 12,000 miles is a Massive deal, who do you know in Oz? what family support network do you have out there?

again well done for trusting your instincts and doing what you truly believe is right for you and your kids, good luck :)

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 04:49

Thanks babe.

I've been reading a few threads and was surprised to learn that a few posters were still wondering what happened. So I promised myself that I would let everyone know when I'm happy with whatever decision I made.

OP posts:
Horopu · 04/01/2011 05:51

I have vague memories of your threads, I think you have made the right choice, good for you.Grin

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 05:52

Thank you. I feel as though I've made the right choice.

OP posts:
Cookie26 · 04/01/2011 08:18

We're given our gut instincts for a reason - listen to them.

Horopu · 04/01/2011 08:28

I am sorry molemesses, that sounded quite rude (vague memeorie) and I didn't mean it to. I just meant if questioned I wouldn't be able to remember all the details of your previous thread. I am glad things are going well for you.

Besom · 04/01/2011 08:31

I remember this molemesses. You sound happy, so you've obviously made the right decision. Good for you. Good luck.

dejavuaswell · 04/01/2011 09:00

You are a naughty girl OP.

I had to look up your old thread and then read it instead of cleaning out the fire!

I think you have done the right thing but I hope to told HIM the news with kindness and compassion. Please tell me you did!

AnyFucker · 04/01/2011 11:18

hooray !

And actually, I hope you told him exactly why you weren't running off after him across the world like some tame, loyal puppy.

Deja...did you not read the thread I did ? Or perhaps you had to "be there" to get the feelings I did from it...

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 12:39

I told him a few days ago that I had doubts about moving. Then dropped the bombshell earlier today. He was expecting it but it was still a shock.

He said he's not going to pressure me and respects my decision. He's now draining a bottle of whiskey.

Needless to say we are both a bit upset but I had to do it. I feel horrible to doing this to him, but it's better than both of living a lie for the sake of the kids. We both deserve better than that.

I just hope he can get over this quickly and doesnt do anything stupid in the meantime.

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 04/01/2011 12:44

Yes. I remember your dilemma.

You have made the right call. Good luck with everything!

IAmReallyFabNow · 04/01/2011 12:48

I remember you and wanted to say you sound great and well done for listening to your feelings and doing what was best for you and not worrying about what anyone else thinks you should do. How has he taken it?

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 12:53

He hasnt taken it well IAm, but he was expecting it. He knows the mistake he made and knows it is his doing. He understands my decision and respects it although we are both upset about it.

I feel like the worlds biggest bitch but I know it's for the best.

OP posts:
AlistairSim · 04/01/2011 12:55

Is he the chap who just left and you didn't even know where he was at first?

If so, thank god!

And well done.

IAmReallyFabNow · 04/01/2011 12:57

Why do you feel like a bitch? He broke the relationship when he left without a word and shagged another woman. You have just decided not to give him another chance afterall.

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 13:00

He didnt shag anyone else, I gave up on that thread when I was accused of not thinking about the kids.

He sent me the entire conversaion and it was a wind up and him being a tit if you read it. I just caught the back end and jumped to conclusions.

Thats right Alistair, he told me he was working in Cornwall when in fact he had validated his visa without the rest of us.

OP posts:
FestiveOrganisoid · 04/01/2011 13:03

Well done Ipom.

I hope you find peace in your decision, it's bound to be hard at first but fwiw I do think you have made the right decision Smile

Here's to a happy 2011!

Original poster
molemesses · 04/01/2011 13:05

Thanks Festive.

OP posts:
FiveFeetTwo · 04/01/2011 13:07

Well done.

You've taken a courageous decision and I'm quite sure you will quickly come to see it as the right decision.

What a strong and wise woman you are.

Smile
AlistairSim · 04/01/2011 13:25

Crikey!

I remember your thread, am so glad you aren't following him!

molemesseskilledIpom · 04/01/2011 15:51

Blimey,

That was easy, just told the kids and they are fine about it. Asked if they could paint thier rooms and have a rabbit.

They are now planning sleepovers and all sorts.

ItsGraceAgain · 04/01/2011 16:01

In my opinion you are doing absolutely the right thing Grin

I'm so glad you lsitened to what your instincts have been yelling all along! Well done!!
Happy new year :) :)

CoronaAndLime · 04/01/2011 16:09

I remember yout thread.

You are 100% NOT a bitch.

You would have been crazey to have mooved over there with him!

He is the one that fucked off. Not you.

Remember him 'joking' about other women with the other dad at school, whilst you and your dc were in bits about him leaving??

If the charmless twat had managed to set himself up with a new woman, do you think he would have wanted you and the dc to come over?
My guess is that he is useing you and your dc as a back up plan.

So sorry.
You really dont deserve this.

ChippingIn · 04/01/2011 16:15

IPOM - good to see you, a lot of us have been worried wondering about you!!

My heart sunk when I read that you'd decided to go and then did a lovely little jump when I read you'd changed your mind Grin

So how are you feeling now that you have the kids reaction to it??

They sound happy - that's so good :)

You have done really well getting everything sorted out - house, bills, kids etc it must be such a weight off of your mind.

mathanxiety · 04/01/2011 16:20

WELL DONE! I wondered how things had turned out for you.

You are not the world's biggest bitch or anything like it. Biggest hero maybe.

No big decision comes without the 'what if's', but your gut has been telling you this is the right thing and you have listened! and eventually the wobbles will sort themselves out.

Stay strong, be kind to yourself.

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