Right confession time...

[molemesses]

Remember Ipom?

Well, it's me.

I namechanged as I needed a laugh and an escape from reality while I sorted my head out after HE left for Aus without me and the kids.

Anyway, in the last 6 months since he's gone. I did think it was best if we went and moved out there. He paid the agent and was going to pay for the flights, shipping and medicals and we've been talking on line as often as we can but...

For 2 months, it hasnt been sitting right with me. I am doing ok for myself. I'm now in a position to look for work, the house is getting sorted, the bank accounts are now in my name, the bills are almost all up to date and I feel almost happy. Well, the happiest I've been for a while except with this nagging voice saying I'm making the wrong decision.

So, I have made the biggest decision of my life and I've decided to stay in the UK. The kids may hate me for a while but I cant go out there and live a lie, it's not fair on any of us. Including HIM.

Well done, great decision. I remember you and couldn't believe you were considering going, but you didn't.

The kids reaction tells you they are happy with the status quo and thats a good thing. I am so pleased for you, now your new life can begin in earnest.

All the best x

My son hasnt realised what's happened. He is in his own little world half of the time, but when he does figure it out, that's when he's going to hurt all over again.

My daughter is devestated but is being a brave little soul and trying to see the good bits.

I still feel like crap about it and the actual conversation, but I'll be ok in a couple of days.

I'm in awe of your strength. You have completely done the right thing. I can't believe he told you he was going to Cornwall and then went to Australia. He abandoned you and your children and your life together. You are now seeing light at the end of the tunnel and have moved on without him. You shouldn't feel like a bitch at all. He made his decision a long time ago and he now has to live with it, or make a massive change in his life. You have not made this decision to spite him, you have made it because it feels right for you and your children - it is not doen out of malice but because you finally feel at peace with your own life. Well done and lots of love x

Oh love, I was wondering about you!

I am SOO pleased for you, well done, you have made the right decision. Really!

Please don't feel guilt, he left you first, you just didn't go running after him.

Well done Molemesses/Ipom, you ROCK!

I remember your thread. I think you've done the right thing by not going. Well done for sorting yourself out.

Oh molemesses - so pleased to hear that you have made this decision! I can tell you, as one who has moved to Australia because of a man (DH), it's hard enough when things are great between you and when there is extended family support (his, admittedly, but still).

Moving out there after what he did to you, with no support and possibly a bag load of resentment if it isn't immediately brilliant (which, let's face it, is a very unlikely happening!) would be very difficult indeed, I would think. Plus, you've taken control of your family situation in the last 6m - do you want to have to start deferring to your DH again, even in a minor way?

Well done for making the brave, and I believe correct, decision. There will be good bits to come - and perhaps your H will reconsider his position if you don't follow him out there. Even if he doesn't, better off without him if he thinks that little of his family. :( for your DC though.

Far better to have had the difficult conversation with the DCs at home, surrounded by everything familiar, than have it six months or a year from now in Oz while packing fast and planning a hasty retreat back to the UK.

OK. I feel a whole lot better today.

I've made the call to mil ex mil as he's too much of a fucking coward to do it himself (and that was her words too), so now it's ME time!

The kids should be ok, they've had 6 months getting used to him not being here so that must make it easier for them, or so I hope.

Right then....Job search.

Anyone need a Purchase ledger assistant with less than a years experience?

lol

Oh, and I gave up smoking 3 weeks ago too! and I didnt even meant to do that.

You can't hear the clapping, but well done.

I remember you, and am SO pleased to hear you made the decision you did. Well done you! Good call.

• Math, how do you manage to strike out whole phrases inadvertently? what are you typing?

molemesses - hurrah on the accidental giving up of smoking as well!

Experiment abcd efgh ijkl

Oh IPOM, i remember!!! well done. i am so happy for you. instincts exist for our own good. so gald you have foloowed the, i really am so happy for you. i know this will be hard on the dcs but you are right. you cannot live a lie, it isn't fair on anyone.

am just going to try it and then I will stop with the hijack, sorry molemesses!

WOW!!

It's the updated strike out - so we can now strike out whole lines and not have to do the old one word at a time lark! Great huh!! Not before time!!

IPOM - oh the FREEDOM!! You deserve it and I hope you really, really enjoy running your own life and doing what you want to do :)

How did you give up smoking without meaning to? Did you forget to light it??

I remember your thread and think you have made the right decision. Far, far better to be proactive than have situations "happen" to you.
Well done, you! New Year, new life!

Dont know Chipping,

Just havent had one and haven't been bothered about having one.

Dont worry about the Hijack Thumb, it was quite useful to know that.

I'm going to try it now.

rabbits are a girls best friend

Cool. It works!

Thanks Maths and Thumb