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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Quick poll, WWYD?

45 replies

junecarter · 01/01/2011 10:17

Have just learned that DP has been involved in selling weed and has wound up 1500 in debt with no means of paying back due to being unemployed. Doesnt know who he is dealin with at the top end and has to go and face these people tomorrow. Would you pack dcs in the car and go to the other end of the country or is this just a knee jerk reaction? I was going to chuck him out anyway on thursday after dcs birthday due to being generally crap, but afraid I could still end up with some scumbags at the door....He is convinced he is going to be shot; but this could be emotional blackmail to get me to help him get the money :(

OP posts:
Lydwatt · 01/01/2011 10:21

wow, no idea!!

My gut reaction would be to run a mile...

Anyone you can go to?

ilythia · 01/01/2011 10:25

What Lydwatt said. Do you have family/friends that you can stay with for a few days?

Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 10:26

this is so crap ,I have family at the other side of uk, so can go to them. This is a huge shock even to me. He always smoked weed which I spent years of wasted energy trying to stop him doing, but about a year or so ago I gave up bothering about what he was up to.

OP posts:
Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 10:27

Oh yes can you guess what his new years resolution is?

OP posts:
OutOutLetItAllOut · 01/01/2011 10:58

run.

Binfullofgibletsonthe45 · 01/01/2011 11:19

Leave - are you really going to put children through this situation. If someone turns up at the door how will you protect them.

Take all you can fit in a car and go.

Good luck xx

StuffingGoldBrass · 01/01/2011 11:22

Yes, get away. And if there is any comeback on you, go to the police. This is not your fault.

DreamingofFour · 01/01/2011 11:23

protect your kids over looking after him. get in the car and go!

MissAnthrope · 01/01/2011 11:26

I'd be off.

AlistairSim · 01/01/2011 11:28

No way.

Get out while you can.

Good luck.

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/01/2011 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoNamesNoPackDrill · 01/01/2011 11:30

Does he live with you? Can you take your valuables (TV computer etc) out of your house and leave them with a trusty friend for a few days? Then pack and get away until things have blown over?

What a loser. You will be much better off without him.

Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 11:30

ok, so nobody thinks I should tell him to go, ? The only reason I'm stalling is because I have dcs in school? .... fuckity fuck what a mess :(

OP posts:
Curiousnamechange · 01/01/2011 11:32

Yes, get out and speak to the police. If he wants to indulge in drug dealing out of your home you need to protect yourself and your DC by making it clear you are not involved. Now you have knowledge you need to inform the appropriate authorities. If he thinks he will be shot he may be safer in the police station than your home.

Curiousnamechange · 01/01/2011 11:34

If he has been doing I from your home and dealers in the chain have knowledge of your address yes you need to leave and make it very, very clear that you have nothing to do with him.

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/01/2011 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 11:35

oh just a quick note... I am 100% sure that no dealing has gone on from my home. Last year I told him that I would not be having him smoke that crap in my house at all so he now spends the majority of his evenings at his friends house , a fellow waster.

OP posts:
Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 11:37

Have no valuables he could sell thank god;

OP posts:
Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 01/01/2011 11:37

You were already going to leave, and now you find out he's even crapper than you thought. So that would be a LEAVE, then.

Original poster
junecarter · 01/01/2011 11:40

Yes I am definitely ending this; just my gut is telling me to grab dcs and dog and just go far far away from him and his shite, rather thaan throwing him out IYKWIM.

OP posts:
MadAboutQuavers · 01/01/2011 11:48

Can you chuck him out? I would if that's possible, without any comeback or threat. He may get desperate about his situation, you never know

atswimtwolengths · 01/01/2011 11:51

I'd be really scared, to be honest, and would (if I had friends elsewhere) just pack everything into the car and go.

If he can't pay these guys, they will come to your house.

How old are your children?

rainbowinthesky · 01/01/2011 11:51

There is clearly no relationship here (at least there shouldnt be). I would report him to the police and chuck him out. Why should you have to uproot your kids?

atswimtwolengths · 01/01/2011 11:51

But I have to say - how did you think he was funding this habit?

Plumm · 01/01/2011 11:51

Go.

In the long term can you start again near your family or do you want to stay where you ar?