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Original poster

i have also found a text...

39 replies

fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 22:29

on my partner's phone. he was waiting to speak to a travel agent and took a bath. they called, i snooped as i am jealous, insecure etc and bingo, i found a text from a colleague with whom he had a relationship. the text from her said " i am sorry, but make no apology for the red dress". it was sent the morning after he'd been to a wedding alone. he says she came onto him and he knocked her back...the thing is, where does the dress fit in? my take is that he said how hot she looked and he tried to take things further...what do you think? please don't say about snooping, trust etc etc.

OP posts:
garrowismylaw · 28/12/2010 22:31

Do not think you wrong for snooping.
Mmmmm, would also feel a bit miffed re the red dress remark.
Does he have form?

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 22:36

thanks garrow.

form -not that i know of...long story only been together for 6 months - have fallen in a big huge way, but now feel like a total tit...he has left tonight to go to his own house, didn't put up much of a fight or argument or really have a leg to stand on. if it was innocent still the 'red dress'.

OP posts:
HappyHECmanay · 28/12/2010 22:39

I would think that something happened and he made some sort of dirty text afterwards about her being irresistable and that's why she came back with the red dress thing.

But i am a very suspicious person.

Scorps · 28/12/2010 22:41

I think it would have been a comment from him about her looking good i nthe red dress. Doesn't sound much to me like he knocked her back after she came on to him, it sounds like flirting to me.

again though, I am suspicious of men. Sorry.

garrowismylaw · 28/12/2010 22:48

OK....you have only been together 6 months, you admit yourself that you are of a jealous disposition.
Think you need to sit down with DP and tell him how insecure he obviously makes you feel.
Have you always had jealousy issues or just in this relationship?

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 22:50

thought so...also, there was a text saying "thanks, you are so understanding" 2 kisses and fron her " you too mr g". he's lying isn't he?

OP posts:
thenightsky · 28/12/2010 22:51

its a bit of flirting - meh.

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 22:52

the reason for my jealousy is i thought it was too good to be true...and hey, it is!

OP posts:
msboogie · 28/12/2010 22:52

Yes, sounds like he came onto her and said it was because of the dress. Sounds like she isn't totally disengaged from him either. Sorry.

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 22:54

and what's meh?

OP posts:
emmyloulou · 28/12/2010 22:55

Sounds like they still have a "thing" tbh.

hobbgoblin · 28/12/2010 22:59

Could be that she came onto him, he rebuffed her and she later apologised for trying it on, but makes no apology for looking hot, i.e. she has very high opinion of herself and was asserting that in face of rejection???? I'd also guess that if my suggestion were correct, that his rejection was more along the lines of "you look great, I would like to rip your red dress off but i can't i am attached, sigh sigh, my poor in demand cock"

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:03

that's his version...only a 'select' few texts saved - clearly the dirty ones deleted...or maybe not? i feel sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:05

except that hse tried it on with him and he was horiible and apologised the next day via text - still the fucking dress....

OP posts:
thenightsky · 28/12/2010 23:05

meh = sort of shrug

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:06

that'll be she and horrible

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 28/12/2010 23:09

If trust is an issue now then it will not get better.

ilovesooty · 28/12/2010 23:10

You found something you didn't like, asked him and he gave you an explanation. The only thing you can do if you don't believe him is to ask again. If he's told you the truth though you can't expect him to be too happy.

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:13

re trust, yes i know and meh ah.

OP posts:
LittleMissHootsMon · 28/12/2010 23:21

Honey, this is going to go nowhere.

If he's not all loved up at 6m when he ought to be, then tbh, when IS he going to be?

Why do you not trust this man, what else has he done for you to be so terrified this early?

You will end up a shadow of your former self, you will be scared to death he's up to something, and for what.

Normal couples don't live like this.

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:28

maybe he was keeping his options open...am i judging him by my standards...

OP posts:
emmyloulou · 28/12/2010 23:33

Tbh I do think people, men in particular do keep their options opening in the beginning.

But at 6 months you'd have thought he would have stopped that, I would have thought anyway, it should be just the start, the love, happiness, infatuation etc.

Original poster
fromhereyoucanseethesea · 28/12/2010 23:35

the text was in october...i love him

OP posts:
LittleMissHootsMon · 28/12/2010 23:37

So what has happened SINCE then?

LittleMissHootsMon · 28/12/2010 23:38

Oh and 6m? you don't know him....

don't commit yourself to the L word before you know him.