Text Message on my DH's phone from female colleague

[Demi]

Background to the story - a week before Christmas there was an office drink arranged for the local pub. It was DH's female colleague's last day before she was going on a long-planned 4 week holiday with her son. My DH was working from home that day and ended up getting caught up in some work problems and unable to make the drinks.

A week later I found the following text on my DH's phone:

Female colleague: I'm not going to make the drinks, still working, please apologise to everyone for me.

DH: Message not saved but presumably he said he wouldn't make it too.

Female colleague: Oh shame, I'll text one of the others.

DH: Message not saved.

Female colleague: LOL! I'm glad we did that! Something for you to remember me by! See you soon.... oxoxo

So, what the flip was my DH's second text all about?

I have asked him, he says that the day before he said goodbye to her in the office and gave her a goodbye hug and wished her well for the holiday - all just in case he didn't make the drinks. Sounds like something my DH would do because he's always bailing out on social things because of work. So he says the text said something along the lines of 'just as well we hugged goodbye in the office'.

Not sure what to think. I have no other reason to be suspicious of my DH, but I'm not totally convinced by his explanation. I just don't think people send texts like that last one over a hug in the office.

Not sure what to think.

It sounds like he could be telling the truth - but the fact he mentioned the hug to her in the message would make me think he quite fancied her.

Marriages can survive either party fancying someone else. It doesn't sound like anything happened. (other than the hug).

lets not forget - he has left the messages on his phone for a week.

sounds innocent to me

am i the only one who finds it weird that it was her last day and people were going for drinks with her to say goodbye,as well as xmas drinks - and she doesnt go?

you must have been checking his phone - you dont just find messages .......

but yes does sound innocent

If he was deleting his messages he would of deleted hers too. I would be inclined to think he's not being totally honest with you, but not that he's cheated iysw? plus the first message sounded very formal.

It sounds flippant to me, something like "i've been given your project on xyz", or "I've got your stapler"

Go with your gut feeling about your DH...if you trust him then don't let this spoil your holidays......when you are 80 yrs it will matter more that you had a memorable Christmas break.

For my part, I reckon - absolute worst case scenario - there might have been an innocent flirt (singular) there. But I doubt it was even that. The word 'banter' might be more appropriate here. Let it go and get on with your life. Simples!

If you're not jealous or suspicious why are you checking your DH's phone?

Sounds innocent to me, surely if it weren't he would have deleted the messages?

I'm wondering why you checked his phone if you're not jealous and suspicious too. If I were your husbabd I'd be furious.

My initial reaction was the same as the last two posters. In fact I'd suggest that this violation of your husband's privacy is a bigger issue than the apparently relatively innocuous contents of the text messages you were snooping on...

Agree that the fact you're looking through his phone suggests you dont try him - why? do you routinely check his phone?

The texts seems entirely innocent btw. but I dont see why you were reading them in the first place....

Do people read their husbands' texts as a matter of course?

I'd nick his phone and send her a message (supposedly from him) and see what her response is.

No I don't UQD. I don't look at his phone, have any of his passwords, read his emails etc. Because we trust each other.

OP - why did you look at his phone? Was there something that made you have a look, or is it normal for you to do this? I suppose what I'm asking, is are you usually jealous or is there some gut-feeling something is not right, hence the looking?

No UQD, I don't think most women check their dh's phone texts.

I've never done that and would be a bit uncomfortable if dh was nosying through my private messages (most of which are along the lines of "Will you feed my cat/kids", but st6ill.

My DH works with lots of women and has lots of female friends. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that message on his phone.

Oh, and in answer to UQD's question - I wouldn't be reading my DH's texts as a matter of course. Although occasionally I might look at his phone for some innocent reason. And he mine.

K12Mom - or

If a bloke did as you suggest wouldn't we say that he is a bit controlling and start raising red flags?

UQD - no I don't check my Dh phone - anymore then he would check mine - it's called trust :)

I can understand using/borrowing a phone but in most models/makes you have a menu then have to click onto messages to read

So therefore you can read them by accident - op must have deliberately gone into message menu

Sounds innocent. But only you know. If you are having doubts, it's possible you have a gut feeling that is telling you something.

Can't read by accident even

hmm - it reads me that your dh and his colleague might have met up somewhere together for the night of the drinks instead of both going.

Then afterwards she texted him saying she was glad they did that, something for him to remember her by etc.

What are the timings of the texts?