your stories about twatty men

[bathbuns]

I would love to hear some stories about dates with twatty men, to cheer me up. Nothing sad or genuinely awful, lighthearted only! I just had to dump someone I recently started seeing because of his twattery and I need someone to laugh with.

I did really like this guy. I don't now. There were little things, like when I sent him a text last week saying I was a bit down and telling him about it, and him replying just saying 'I really want a shag.' Or on our third date, I spent the day with him. We had a nice time, but the student protests went near his house and he wanted to see them. We went to the end of the road and watched it go past and then he wanted to join in (he's an academic). I said I couldn't because I can't walk much (and he had already said he didn't want to be seen with my in my wheelchair) so he went anyway, and left me to go and sit in his flat for 45 minutes. I had to walk back down an icy pavement by myself when I'm wobbly at the best of times. But that isn't the point. If I was 100% mobile you still shouldn't leave someone on a date and piss off with your friend.

The thing that really put a nail in the coffin is the fact that he is heavily into BDSM. He wants to be humiliated; urinated on, have me sleep with someone else in front of him, etc. etc. I am just not the sort of person who is comfortable humiliating anyone, but when I said that to him he assured me I would grow to like it. Um, no. I've now ended it properly and he texted me back saying 'you are just scared because I've woken something in you and now you can't turn it off.' Seriously, what a twat. I told him I don't want to do something, and he is certain deep down I do.

There are other unpleasant things... saying he wants to be devoted to me, which after just 3 dates creeps me out. He's sure we will get married etc. etc. I know he sounds awful here, but he did seem really lovely when I first met him. Intelligent, funny, modest.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

TBH it would probably freak me out a bit at first! I would find it hard to get involved in that sort of stuff unless I knew him very well iyswim. I would need to feel that there was a lot of trust between us first.

I'd want to feel there was some trust between us before any sharing of fantasies, but then if there was trust and he said he wanted something really vile, you're buggered again, aren't you? (So to speak, of course!)

atswimtwolengths what a nasty bloke!

Bathbuns - your not alone darling, theres plenty of twatty men out there!

My most memorable twat, was the man I was seeing before DP came along. Fair play to him, he was stunning, but really knew it. He spent about 2 months getting me to agree to go on a date with him, so I assumed he was very keen (big mistake).

We went on about 5 dates over 2 weeks, real whirlwind sweeping off your feet stuff. Flowers, constant texts, elaborate dates and gifts. After declaring his undying love, going on about marriage, kids etc on one date, I never heard from him after that. Totally confused, I heard from a friend he had loads of girls on the go all at the same time! I soon after met DP, and that was that anyway.

Fastforward 5 years, I hadnt seen this bloke again, and was happily engaged to DP and had had DD. Was on a night out with friends, and bumped into him, exchange friendly hellos/how are you's as you do, and went on my merry way. A few hours later he tracks me down, and starts hyperventilating crying, and it all comes out, how he loves me, biggest mistake of his life, why dont me and DD move in with him. WTF!! Completely bonkers.

Another date I had, the bloke leered at my tits all night, and when it came to the end of the night, pointedly looking at my tits, asked me 'if I was saving them for the third world war'.

Oh these are good therapy for me! I just got back from 3 days with my ex (seeing if we could revive it) and saw his true colours. I actually had to write down things in my phone as they were happening because I thought I was going mad. Sorry, they aren't very funny though

Amongst other gems, these classics:

"People are staring at you because of your hat. It makes you look like a hippy"

He became an expert on my dissertation topic as soon as I mentioned it.

When I went to wipe snow off his jacket, he moved out of the way and expressed discomfort at me doing this. He then went on to explain that if you are cold the best thing you can do is cover yourself in snow and ice.

Minus 7 and we're standing outside for an hour or so. He asks if my feet are cold, I say yes my toes are going numb. He says, "Mine are toasty warm. And this is a great jacket" (his, of course)

"Most women need another woman to encourage them shopping"

"Most emotional abuse in relationships is by women" (when I challenged his sources, it appeared that apparently in his job as defence software engineer he had to research these statistics?)

In response to the question: what makes a woman powerful, he answered (with full, authoritarian explanation, of course), but paraphrased as - manipulation

He criticised everyone and in particular their clothing and appearance.

Blagh

Bathbuns: your bloke's fetishes are not that unusual, nor are they that reprehensible. By the sound of it he would be a selfish dick even if the most advanced sexual thing he liked was leaving the light on.
THough in general (having written about this a lot) I wuld always say that people with strong fetishes should either date only within the fetish scene or at least lead up gently to telling new partners they have a specific sexual preference.
Oh, and before they do either of those things, they should practice Not Being A Knob if they want to get any dates at all.

Lol, Stuffing, thank you. It's definitely important to not be a knob.

I did talk to him about dating someone else within the fetish scene but he said they were 'all horrible and all had tattoos. And they don't love you.'

I think I'd be open about all sorts of fetishes after a certain period of time of being with someone, if that I knew I could trust them and was also going to enjoy it on some level. But anything involving humiliating or degrading someone else is never ever going to feel ok to me. I was humiliated for real (was assaulted) and I couldn't willingly do that to another person even if it was going to be really pleasurable for them. I explained that to him several times (not the assault, but how impossible I'd find it emotionally to do those things) and he was adamant I'd grow to like it.

Thank you all for some great advice and stories.

Went out with professional western somaon rugby player - had the body of a god but spat water at me and spanked me during sex - he was about 15 stone of very attractive pure muscle but feck me when he playfully spanked 8 stone me it felt like I was being beaten to within an inch of my life!

Father set me up with his reflexologists son - fecking toad of toad hall - went to a little italian restaurant and then to the cinema hoping no one would see us and I wouldn't have to speak to him or look at him for too long and walked out of cinema into about 30 friends!

Bathbuns thank you so much. I endured so much crap because I was in love. I am normally such a strong person...not sure what happened here.

Another lovely moment: 8 months into the relationship he told me he would probably fuck his ex if he saw her.

He loved telling me about his past shags...in great detail, how he was crazy about X, etc.

Er yes, I was an idiot. Normal service now resumed thank God...and a big lesson learned!

Ditch...and move on!!! Nobody wants to hear this, but you sound like a lovely person. What a load of arses there are out there!

Quite a few shudders of recognition here. Is there an absolute army of twats out there, or is it the same few guys moving ever-hopefully onwards??

Bathbuns, after trying out a few fetishy things, I came to realise I have no kinks at all. Nary a one. Whilst I'm aware it would be considerate to cater for a partner's (non-humiliating, non-violent, legal) preferences now & again ... ime, it never is only now & again. Maybe it's just because I attracted users, twerps and bastards, I don't know, but they'd become uninterested in plain sex so I felt pressurised to comply.

Of recent(ish) years, I just quit as soon as sexual kookery starts to show. My fetish, if you like, is fetish-free sex and I'm not settling for any partner who doesn't share it!

I reckon that's probably a sane approach, whatever your preferences. Your loser of an ex, however, clearly isn't sane by anyone's standards. You still sound a little unsure of yourself and, dare I say it, too eager to please. Nobody has the right to tell you what to enjoy.

'fuck the fuck off you bloody weirdo'

Sorry should have said the guy I love my virginity to (so I was in lurve with him and said fuck all) was like this.
That is what I should have said

That is what you should say. Trust me, he wont leave you alone otherwise

lost not love

gosh

ok i have one

met a guy online, seemed nice enough. Went out for a meal, took a friend along for safety reasons (had never met guy before) he -stared- at me eating for the whole meal, then looked at where the bathrooms were, grabbed my hand, tried to pull me out my seat and said.....

i have giant testicles, how about it?

funnily enough i decided not to see him again after that

As a bloke, it's been fun reading these. There do seem to be rather a lot of vile men out there.

Wish I could balance it up a bit with stories of twatty women (who must surely exist), but unfortunately I don't have any personally as I never really did much of the dating thing and was married in the mid 90s, just before all these exciting new ways to be a twat via texting and facebooking even existed.

Mimblesson, you're right, unfortunately I haven't seen anything here that makes me think 'that's unlikely'!

I only have one tale of a woman who I went on one date with who wasn't so much twatty as odd!

This is 20 odd a few years ago now just before I met my wife, I went on a blind date which had been arranged by a friend of mine.

I met the lady in question in a pub and we got on quite well so ordered some food and carried on talking. Once the meal was over we had a couple more drinks and then she leaned over the table and said "I'm wearing a rubber bra and my pants have a dildo fitted in them, do you want to see?".

I went to the toilet and then ran away (I'm not proud of this but I was only in my early twenties and from a little village so had no idea about anything like that).

Fortunately this was in the days before mobiles, facebook etc so, as it was a blind date I got away scott free!

I did 'discuss' the matter with my mate who told me that she had a bit of a reputation for being 'a bit strange' but she was friends with his girlfriend so he thought it would be OK!

I'd have been terrified at that too.