dp just punched me in the thigh over football

[strepsil]

He was watching football and the other team scored a girl. I was sat next to him so he punched me in the thigh. He may have done this because we're with cousins and he didn't feel free to do the usual swearing so I got a surreptitious dig instead.
he's just come to apologise but says he was actually punching the sofa. Your fist doesn't go in sideways to puch a sofa tho' plus it's not our sofa to punch! he sayshe'ssorry but hadn't planned to hurt me. Now if i hold on to this, he'll say i'm being ridiculous and creating a drama about nothing.
I'm fed up with having mothing really major to feel justified in my worries about whether he's respecting me properyl. It'salways these sorts of incidents which I rationalise as borderline.

goal not girl!!

Men get stuipdly into football and he probably wasn't even thinking. Unless hes abusive surely its a accident?

100% unaceptable - even if the other team scored a goal

Every relationship different but if Dh did it I would have known it was not purposely... does that make sense?

Dh might do it I guess. I would know he didn't mean it. Football just tends to take over the functioning part of his brain whilst it's on.

But after 20 something years I have learned to do something else more interesting while football is on.

I stay out of the way when dp and ds watch football ...all that testosterone and yelling drives me mad

I'm not normally mad enough to sit near him while a match is on, but the sofa was near a nice roaring fire andI'm feeling ill.

What sort of incidents do you mean?

Has he hurt you before or am I reading too much into that line?

tbh i think from how OP is posting this is more than just a misplaced punch in frustration at the footbal. OP has mentioned that he would usually swear at her but didn't because there were other present and that she is fed up feeling like she hasn't enough reason to actually hold him to account.

I'm actually quite surprised that some posters are making little of this.

OP do you feel it was accidental or intentional? how does he treat you in general?

at some comments here. If I had a bloke who couldn't watch a SPORT without trying to punch anything, sofa, wall, me whatever I wouldn't be with him.

Men being men and testosterone, abolute bollocks. There is a reason why DV incidents go through the roof during major football tournaments. It's true.

Football on the whole attracts drunken thugs, sorry but is does.

"tbh i think from how OP is posting this is more than just a misplaced punch in frustration at the footbal"

Well if so it would be helpful to know. Otherwise why assume?

why assume what?

you are not a sofa - he knows that - punching things is no more/less acceptable han swearing (it is raucous behaviour) punching a person OTOH is not acceptable at all!

what did he say directly after -'oh sorry!' immediately - or did he pretend he hadn't hit you at all?

Why assume it's more than just a misplaced punch in frustration i mean.

On one occasion we were watching football in the pub. DH's team scored a goal and he grabbed me round the chest and jumped up and down! He nearly broke a rib! I know he didn't mean to hurt me. Is that the same sort of thing?

because (as i explained) of the way OP was posting. it is obvious there is a history of him swearing at her and she herself said that to punch the sofa, he wouldn't have punched sideways.

I suppose so. I obviously misread the OP. Apologies strepsil.

He was excited and wanted to give me a hug. It hurt! It wasn't meant to hurt.

"we're with cousins and he didn't feel free to do the usual swearing so I got a surreptitious dig instead."

"Your fist doesn't go in sideways to puch a sofa tho' plus it's not our sofa to punch!"

"Now if i hold on to this, he'll say i'm being ridiculous and creating a drama about nothing."- implies similar has happened before and OP worries she will be accused of overreacting.

"I'm fed up with having mothing really major to feel justified in my worries about whether he's respecting me properyl. It'salways these sorts of incidents which I rationalise as borderline" again, implies OP is used to dealing with similar from him.

"

Omiran I get what you mean.

i though the normally swears loudly when watching football. not acceptable behaviour in company? so not necc. at her.

i agree it doesn't sound good though.

has he ever hurt you "accidentally-on-purpose* before ?

I agree with emmy, actually

making excuses for hitting someone on the basis that they are male and "all riled up" because of a fucking football match is very dangerous territory

no coincidence is it, that reports of severe DV rise sharply after "big matches"

what are some of you ladies thinking ???

OP, I hope you are ok

FWIW, punches to the thigh are bloody painful, and often bruise spectacularly

if this is part of a pattern, make sure you get photographic evidence of that, because he may have just signed his divorce paper