dp just punched me in the thigh over football

[strepsil]

He was watching football and the other team scored a girl. I was sat next to him so he punched me in the thigh. He may have done this because we're with cousins and he didn't feel free to do the usual swearing so I got a surreptitious dig instead.
he's just come to apologise but says he was actually punching the sofa. Your fist doesn't go in sideways to puch a sofa tho' plus it's not our sofa to punch! he sayshe'ssorry but hadn't planned to hurt me. Now if i hold on to this, he'll say i'm being ridiculous and creating a drama about nothing.
I'm fed up with having mothing really major to feel justified in my worries about whether he's respecting me properyl. It'salways these sorts of incidents which I rationalise as borderline.

Domestic violence goes up during the world cup.

If you are saying there have been a number of things that you are not happy about and he belittles your feelings then I think you have a problem

Good God.

If he had punched the bloke next to him in the pub, he'd have got an immediate punch back again.

In fact, if he did it without thinking, like an involuntary reaction, how would he have handled you involuntarily smacking in the mouth in return?

good point thenightsky

'Football on the whole attracts drunken thugs, sorry but is does'

Bit of a generalisation there

strepsil

How long have you been together?. And what do you get out of this relationship now?. It does not sound at all healthy; he seems more than happy to swear at you as well.

Stop rationalising this, look at this clinically.

Think its time you took a long and cold look at your relationship. This is not good for you at all; you are in a very vulnerable position here re him. Also such stuff often escalates; it is only a matter of time before he hits you again. He is quite aware of what he has done and is not remorseful at all for hitting you in the thigh; it was a deliberate act on his part designed to put you in your place.

strepsil,

you feel instinctively that something's not right when he punches you "by accident".

you feel instinctively that it's not right that he then says you're being "ridiculous and creating a drama about nothing"

you feel instinctively that he's "not respecting you properly".....

Trust your instincts because they're so right.....they're telling you something valuable. Don't ignore them. TRUST THEM!!

If YOU don't like being punched in the thigh, or ANYTHING that he might say or do, you are NOT BEING RIDICULOUS OR CREATING A DRAMA OR OVERREACTING. It is not about what HE thinks....it's about what YOU think.

Trust your instincts they are trying to help you!!!!

strepsil...how are you today ?

any further thoughts ?

Sounds like it probably was an accident - BUT if you feel upset and worried by what happened, than that's not silly or ridiculous at all. You have a right to feel safe in your own home and not be hit! And if he really is non-abusive and respectful, he needs to make a real effort to apologise to you properly and make sure nothing like it ever happens again.

Have there been other 'incidents' like this in the past?

Personally I wouldn't be too happy with the swearing and punching the sofa either, I think that's unpleasant and aggressive behaviour which would make me uncomfortable.